Evangelion: Zankoku na Tenshi no Tasogare
by dragonmaster8
Summary: Why would you choose to run,when your cause is found here? The life you are given holds all meaning in this place. All that is forever is here within these walls. Ye be in God’s Garden, where all that is in the name of truth is spoken by Angels. Complete.
1. Instrumentality

Okay, now everything in here isn't exactly the same as it is the the main storyline. The vast majority of it should be, especially in later chapters, but like i said, this is an alternate story that takes place instead of the movie. This takes place after episode 26, meaning 25 and 26 both happened in my story, so...Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion.

* * *

Episode 1: Instrumentality

Shinji Ikari was on his side on his bed. His eyes were fixed on the plain white wall of his room in Misato's apartment. The moon was the only source of light in the dark room. Headphones ran from Shinji's ears down to an object in his hand that had died a few hours ago.

"Asuka," Shinji whispered before rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling of his room. "Kaoru,"

* * *

**Case Number 00: Ayanami Rei**

Rei sat on a small wooden chair. Her expressionless gaze was fixed directly ahead of her. She was wearing her school uniform and had both hands folded on her lap.

_**Who are you?**_

"I am Rei Ayanami," answered Rei.

_**Who are you?**_

"I am Rei Ayanami," Rei said more confidently.

_**Are you sure that you are you?**_

"I don't understand the question," she said.

_**Do you know who you are?**_

"I am the third, correct?" Rei responded. Images of Rei as a young child and then as a teenager in bandages flashed in front of her.

_**So you're nothing more then another copy?**_

"No," Rei answered. Her crimson eyes narrowed.

_**How are you sure?**_

"Because I decide what it is I do," Rei responded.

_**So this makes you an individual?**_

Rei looked down at the floor. She was confused. What was going on?

"First child," said a deep voice. Rei looked up to see Gendo Ikari staring at her with one finger on his glasses. "Do you know where you are?" Rei stared at him. "This is instrumentality,"

"Instrumentality?" Rei asked.

_**What makes you an individual?**_

"I'm not certain," Rei answered.

_**So you actually are nothing?**_

"No," Rei responded. "I am something,"

_**You are the third, nothing more,**_

"That isn't entirely correct," Ritsuko Akagi was standing on the stage where Rei sat. "Although the receptacles that are Rei all do the same job of housing a soul, each carry their own individuality." As Ritsuko spoke, the sight of the area where the other Rei's were kept in LCL appeared. "For example, the Second held an emotion that was so close to, that it might be construed as love towards Gendo." Rei speaking with Gendo and then Rei closing the case that held his glasses flashed in front of her. "However, the Third holds more a distant personality towards Gendo, or perhaps even dislike," The time when Rei broke Gendo's glasses played like a movie in front of her.

_**Why do you pilot the Eva?**_

"What reason do I have not to?" asked Rei. Shinji suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You could die in that thing!" He exclaimed.

"Then I guess I would die. That doesn't matter to me," Rei responded.

"But if you die this time, there's no way to come back," said Misato. "Ritsuko destroyed the others," Another scene played in front of Rei where the Rei's in LCL started to break up and die.

"Then I suppose I would cease to exist," Rei answered. "It doesn't matter to me,"

"Don't you think it matters to someone else?" Rei was in the entry plug after their battle with the fifth angel. It was the time that Shinji made her smile, but these weren't the words he had said then. "Did it even _once_ cross your mind that someone would miss you if you were gone?" Shinji's tears hit Rei's cheek.

"Why are you crying?" asked Rei. This sounded familiar. Rei was back on the stage. A spotlight made her squint a little. "People would miss me," she said. "But what made him cry?"

_**You've cried yourself**_

"I have?" asked Rei. Rei was operating unit-00. It was the battle that she had activated the self-destruct sequence in the Eva. "Why did I do that?" Tears fell onto her hands. "Am I crying?"

Rei stood up from her seat. She was back on the stage in the spotlight. "This program is useless," she said calmly. "Please shutdown and let me go back to my home,"

* * *

Gendo watched as the Instrumentality project was performed on Rei. This program had already been launched on Shinji and everything worked out well. All Rei had to do was follow through with the program.

Everything was going well. The program was working as well on Rei as it had on Shinji. She actually seemed to be getting somewhere. Until she stood up and told the team to shut it down. That wasn't supposed to happen. As expected, Fuyutsuki leaned towards him to ask what should be done.

"Shut it down," Gendo instructed. If the subject refuses what is happening, then nothing can affect them, and he knew that once Rei's mind was set it would be difficult, if not impossible, to change it.

"Shut it down?" Maya said, turning in her chair. "But sir! That could damage the system!"

"There's no point in continuing with a hopeless subject," The screens in front of him returned to the plain white room that Rei had been sitting in. He pushed a button and began to speak into a small microphone. "You disappoint me, Rei. The third child did better," Knowing that Rei heard his words, he returned his hands to their trademark folded position. He spoke quietly, but he knew that Fuyutsuki would hear him.

"Get hold of Katsuragi," he instructed. "She shouldn't have any trouble getting Ritsuko to inspect the MAGI,"

* * *

Warm and inviting sunlight shone through Shinji's window. How deceiving. As if today would be that great. He hadn't had a good day in nearly two weeks. Not sense…

Shinji slowly pushed himself up and walked towards his door. He slid it open slowly and saw Misato with one foot on a chair to tie a boot. She looked up and smiled faintly, as if trying to seem pleased to see him.

"Morning, Shinji," she said. "Did I wake you? Sorry,"

"No, you didn't" Shinji said quietly. He decided he would continue the conversation. "Why are you up this early?" He knew Misato had the day off. Shinji was actually surprised that she even worked at all. All of the angels were dead. Even Kaoru.

"Well, Rei was at NERV last night," Misato said calmly. She'd finished tying her boot and was now adjusting her coat.

"The whole night?" asked Shinji with a little more enthusiasm then he would have preferred. Misato nodded.

"She was in the same project as you were," Misato responded before moving over to a mirror.

"…Instrumentality," he said, looking down. Misato answered with a confirming mumble.

"But something went wrong," Misato said. "Rei didn't take to it. They had to shut down, and now they need Ritsuko. They called me because she's still…well…" Shinji nodded, understanding. "Well, I'm off. If you're going back to school today, I've written a note explaining your absence the past three days,"

School had restarted in Tokyo-3 a little over a week after the announcement that the last angel had been destroyed (It was funny how that found a way to keep coming back and bite him in the ass). Only about half the students returned at first, Kensuke and Toji being among them. Over the last few days, a couple more families came back, but it would be a while before everyone returned to Tokyo-3.

Misato closed the front door and left Shinji alone. Shinji walked over to the counter and stared at the note. Misato's curly handwriting was almost as sloppy as her out of work.

_Please excuse Shinji from School. There was a death in the family,_

A hint of anger flashed across Shinji's face before he crumpled the note and threw it in the trash. Like he would go to school today. He closed the door to his room behind him. He couldn't face all of them. Not today.

* * *

"Awesome!" Kensuke exclaimed.

"Yeah, you _would_ think so," Toji responded.

Toji sat at his desk lifting up his left pant leg. The prosthetic leg he now had sense the incident in the Eva felt weird. Sorry, it didn't feel at all. Maybe that was what was weird?

"Did it hurt, Toji?" Hikari Horaki, class president, bent down towards Toji to inspect the artificial leg. Toji dropped his pant leg and smiled.

"Nah," he responded. He looked up from his seat at the worried Hikari and smiled. "Nothin' really," Kensuke looked at Toji.

"But Toji, weren't you just complaining about how this would affect your basketball-," Kensuke was interrupted by a growling Toji.

"Shut-up!" he muttered to Kensuke. Hikari had broken out in a contained fit of laughter. She was clearly trying to hide it, and was just as obviously failing. Hikari choked down the laugh and started to wave.

"Well, I have to go," Hikari said. "See you later!" she jogged to what she was supposed to be doing. Kensuke was smiling menacingly. Toji just stared.

"Uh, what?" he asked. Kensuke smiled wider.

"You're going out with her, aren't you?" he asked. Toji's face burned red and he immediately stood up.

"No-no I'm not!" Toji stammered.

"Yes, you are!" Kensuke said louder. Toji shook his head furiously. The sound of the late bell echoing throughout the school made Kensuke look over to an empty desk. "Shinji's not here again?" Toji shook his head.

"Neither is Asuka or Rei," Toji said. Kensuke turned towards the window to look at the city.

"Do you think something happened at NERV?" he asked.

"You there! Stop talking or it's detention for all of you!"

The sound of the teachers voice made them all stand at attention. Still, Toji and Kensuke couldn't help but worry a little over what had happened to their friends.

* * *

Ritsuko Akagi sat in the darkness of the room she was in. The only sources of light came from the red glowing sign with NERV's logo and the recently opened door to where she was.

"Ritsuko,"

Misato's voice came as a surprise to her. She wasn't expecting Katsuragi to show up. But that meant Gendo had sent her for a certain reason, and Ritsuko thought she knew what she was going to ask of her.

"Let me guess," Ritsuko started. "He wants me to check on the MAGI?" Misato nodded. Ritsuko snorted. "Hypocritical bastard," she whispered.

It wasn't long before Ritsuko was crawling inside the base of one of the three computers. Technically, she could have run the check on the MAGI without having to go inside, but there was something she had to do.

Her lab coat was in a crumpled up ball next to her. Her fingers glided across the keyboard at an amazingly quick speed. She would have to link to the brain of the computer in a short while.

Ritsuko stopped typing and looked up at the protective plate on the computer. There were marks where she had opened the plate not to long ago to link to the computer. "I'm going to do it," Ritsuko whispered. "This is going to bring us closer," She slid her fingers over the plate. "Right, mother?"

* * *

A clean, white hospital room was silent except for the operation of medical machinery. A gentle beep came from the heart-rate monitor position to the left of the bed, opposite the door. It blocked most of the light from the window behind it, but what did get through illuminated the red hair and smooth skin of the patient.

Her chest rose and fell in the steady rhythm of breathing. A few wires ran from her wrists and chest to the machinery. Slowly the patient's eyes opened in the bright light. Asuka Langley Soryu woke up.

Asuka managed to make out the images going on around as the door to her room opened. It looked like that weird guy who assisted Ikari's dad was staring her in the eyes. It wasn't long before she fell asleep again.

* * *

**Case Number 02: Langley Soryu Asuka**

Asuka opened her eyes. She was sitting on a small wooden chair on what looked like the stage from her school. A spotlight illuminated her position. She stared up into the light, squinting.

_**Why do you pilot Eva?**_

"Because I can," she said. The answer seemed simple enough to her.

_**Why do you pilot Eva?**_

It just asked that question. Did it want a different answer? "I pilot it because no one else is as good as I am!" Asuka said, feeling some of her confidence return.

An image of Shinji flashed in front of her. Asuka's eyes widened. She stared directly at the image before slamming her eyes shut and putting her head in her hands. "No!" she screamed. "Don't talk about him!" The image of Shinji was still visible, even when she closed her eyes. "Get out of my head! I hate you!"

_**Do you hate him?**_

Asuka lifted her head. She was quiet for a while. "Yes," she said after a while.

_**Then why do you love him?**_

Asuka glared at the light. "I don't!" she defended. "Everything is his fault! I hate him!" A scene with her mother in the hospital flashed in front of her. Asuka's eyes narrowed and watered. "Mama," she whispered. Asuka shook her head. "She didn't do anything to me!"

Another scene played in front of Asuka. Her mother was holding a doll. "Come on Asuka," she said. "You have to eat all your vegetables. You wouldn't want that little girl over there to think bad things of you, would you?" She motioned towards a young Asuka leaning on a glass window.

Suddenly Asuka was staring her mother's tombstone as rain fell. A woman leaned over. "It's okay to cry, Asuka," A young Asuka was holding a doll and looked serious.

"I'm not going to cry!" she said. There was a flicker on the image and the young Asuka was suddenly crying. The Asuka sitting in the chair spoke.

"Why is she crying?" Asuka said. "I didn't cry then!" The young Asuka was in a grassy field. She was running. Asuka's eyes widened in horror as she listened to the familiar dialogue. The young Asuka spoke of how she was chosen to be an Eva pilot. How she was superior. Her smiling face contorted into a mix of confusion and sorrow as she opened a door. Her mother had hanged herself.

_**Why do you pilot the Eva?**_

Asuka felt a few tears slide down her cheeks. After a while she spoke in a cracked voice. "To be noticed,"

_**Do you hate Shinji Ikari?**_

Asuka shook her head to say no. Shinji appeared in front of Asuka. He just stood there and spoke. "Are you ready to leave yet?"

"Shut up!" Asuka yelled, still crying. "You're not innocent! You think it's funny, don't you? You laugh at how I can't even move Eva anymore!"

"Asuka," started Shinji. He was cut off.

"Why don't you shut up!" she screamed. "You're synch-ratio gets higher and higher while mine is nothing! The worst part is that you don't even care!" Asuka took her eyes off of Shinji and stared at the stage under her feet. "No one cares," she said quietly.

The time when Asuka was mentally attacked by the angel appeared in a soundless image. "They didn't do anything. They waited. I screamed…and they waited." Another image where Rei was being attacked by the sixteenth angel appeared. The second-to-last angel that had made Rei self-destruct Eva unit-00. "Then when Wonder-Girl was just barely attacked," Eva unit-02 appeared in the city. "They sent help immediately. And when I couldn't move," Shinji appeared in unit-01. "They sent him without hesitation…"

Asuka felt fresh tears fall down her face. "I'm a third place loser who sucks at the one thing I'm good at! No one cares what happens to me! I should just _die_!" Asuka suddenly noticed that she was in the bath tub of an old house. It was destroyed now, and the fact that she'd managed to get hot water in there should be surprise enough. She didn't even notice. "No one cares…" she droned in a low voice.

Her cloths were folded in a pile on a chair next to her. She stared above her with half open eyes. "Why am I here?" she said in the same low tone. "I should just die. No one cares." She closed her eyes.

"Asuka!"

Asuka opened her eyes. She was back on the stage. Shinji was in front of her again. "I care!" He said. "I'd miss you," He seemed upset. A few more spotlights shined on the stage behind her. Every time one flashed on, another person appeared.

"I care," said Misato.

"I care," said Asuka's stepmother.

"I care," said Hikari.

Asuka looked directly ahead of her at Shinji. She smiled a little. "Idiot," she whispered.

Asuka looked around and noticed she was in the entry plug of unit-02. "What am I doing here?" she asked. Why was beyond even her, but she pushed up on a few levers. Nothing happened. She concentrated on moving. Still, nothing happened. She almost laughed.

She looked at her surroundings outside the Eva. Everything was pitch black. She suddenly saw a large energy beam speeding towards her. She screamed something in German, and covered her head with her hands. After a few quiet seconds, Asuka looked up. The AT field stopped it. The yellow glow of the field was still there. That shouldn't have happened unless unit-02 was active.

Asuka's eyes widened. "Mother?" she whispered. She felt joy build up inside her. "Mother!" She exclaimed. The signs of the field faded away. "You've been here all along…" Asuka smiled. "I get it!" There was a glowing around her as Eva unit-02 reactivated. "I understand Mother," she said. The darkness broke away and Eva unit two leaped into the air. "You were always with me!"

Asuka was back on the stage in the chair. The stage broke away with her final exclamation and her surroundings became a white room. "I understand, Mother!"

* * *

Shinji sat at the table in the middle of Misato's apartment. The dinner in front of him had grown cold. He hadn't taken a bite of it since Misato placed it in front of him. Misato slammed the beer can down on the table after finishing the last few drops.

"Damn it Shinji!" she exclaimed. Anger was obvious in her voice. "Why won't you eat something?" Shinji just stared at the plate.

"I'm not hungry," he said.

"Don't give me that shit!" yelled Misato. Her face changed from blind rage to concern. "Please," she whispered. "I understand that you're upset. But _please_! You need to…" There was a knock on the door. Misato stood up and went over to the door. Shinji just continued to stare at his plate.

"Um, Shinji? Could you come here?" Misato called. Shinji sighed before standing up. He walked towards the front door. His un-enthusiasm changed to shock when he saw the smiling face.

"Asuka," Shinji said quietly. Asuka closed her eyes and smiled.

"I'm back," she said as the sounds of the night came quietly from behind her.

* * *

Okay. There's chapter one, hope you liked it. Now a couple of things: The Instrumentality part was difficult to write, hope it didn;t come out too messed up. And the first chapter is kind of serious, but it gets back into more of the light-hearted/happy mood of early Evangelion episodes during the next few chapters, then it'll go back to serious, just so you know what to expect.

Thank you for reading, and please review!


	2. Back to School

Hey! I finished this kind of early, so i'll post it now. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and to everyone who is still reading. I've got nothing else to say, so, enjoy chapter 2.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion.

* * *

Episode 2: Back to School

Shinji grabbed a plastic cup from the cabinet. Misato hadn't had a clean glass in the house for a while. It was a surprise that these were even available. He unscrewed the cap to the orange juice and held the cup steady as he poured.

Shinji had woken up feeling great. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. He didn't know why, but he even showered and got ready for school. All that was left was for him to eat his breakfast and then leave. He sat down at the table and set the cup down. He just had to wait for the toast now.

As soon as his breakfast popped out of the toaster, Shinji heard a scream. It sounded like Asuka was up finally. "What the hell is wrong with you?" screamed the red-head as she threw the door to her room open. She ran over to the toaster. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I'm not in charge of your life," said Shinji. "How am I supposed to know if you're going to school or not?"

"I think it's pretty obvious that I _am_!" she yelled back as she stole Shinji's toast. She had about half the thing gone before Shinji realized what she was eating.

"Hey!" he said. "That's my breakfast!" Asuka shoved the last bit into her mouth.

"Looks like it's mine now," she grabbed Shinji's cup of juice. She threw the cup down on the table once it was empty.

"Why can't you make your own breakfast?" Shinji said. He was getting irritated. Misato opened the door to her room and stared at what was happening. This had better be interesting considering it just woke her up. Asuka glared at Shinji.

"Since when did _you_ start defending yourself?" she said. She ran over to the bathroom and had the door half closed behind her before she turned to stare at Shinji. "By the way, you suck at making toast," She slammed the door. Shinji just stared. Misato walked over to the table laughing. Shinji looked at her.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing," said Misato, quieting her laughs. "It's just great to see you two acting like your old selves." Shinji gave her a confused stare before glancing over at the clock. He grimaced when he realized how long this scenario had taken. He was going to be late.

"Now I don't have time to eat," he muttered as he grabbed his backpack and opened the front door. "Bye, Misato!" he called as he ran out of the apartment. Misato waved.

The sound of running water stopped in the bathroom. A few seconds later, Asuka opened the door. She looked around for a few seconds. "Did he leave without me?" shouted Asuka, sounding offended. Misato nodded as she opened a can of beer. "He's unbelievable!" Asuka yelled.

She ran into her room and came out three minutes later, fully dressed. Her hair was still wet as she ran out of the house with a backpack in one hand and a brush in the other. "Damn it Shinji!" she yelled. "Get back here!" Misato just smiled and waved for a second time.

"Thanks for waiting!" yelled Asuka when she finally caught up to Shinji. Shinji didn't even turn to look at her. He just kept running.

"Oh yeah. Because you would've waited for _me_!" Shinji said sarcastically.

"Are you accusing me of being uncaring?" Asuka growled.

"Yes!" Shinji said flatly. The school was visible now. They might actually make it! Shinji felt a pain in his side from running. He couldn't keep up with Asuka. She started to pull ahead. "Slow down!" he called.

"Like hell I will!" Asuka yelled over her shoulder. The late bell rang while they were still in the hallway. They were definitely going to be marked late on the first day they came back.

Asuka was the first to open the door to the classroom. Both she and Shinji stood in front of the class trying to catch their breath. "Sorry!" started Asuka. She had to think of something to say to the teacher. "Shinji woke up late and made me wait while he got ready!"

"_I _woke up late?" he exclaimed. Asuka gave Shinji a look that would kill him if it could. Shinji was quiet after that.

"Like I said," Asuka began again before Toji said something.

"Save your breath," he said from his desk. "The teacher isn't here yet," Asuka and Shinji looked over to the teacher's desk. It was empty. They smiled and high-fived each other.

"Score!" said Asuka. After a few seconds with their hands still touching in the air, Asuka threw Shinji to the floor. "What's wrong with you?" she yelled. "Don't touch me like that!"

"What?" Shinji muttered as Asuka walked towards her desk. She stopped along the way to start a conversation with Hikari. Shinji rubbed the elbow he landed on when Asuka threw him as he walked towards his seat.

"Hey Shinji!" said Kensuke. "It's been a while!"

"Damn right, it has!" Toji said. "What the hell've you been doing'?"

"Well," started Shinji. He stopped as the teacher came in.

"Sorry I'm late class," said the teacher. Shinji looked straight ahead as the teacher began the lesson. It felt kind of nice to be back in class again. Shinji smiled as the chalkboard started to be covered in chalk lines.

* * *

"This is stupid!" growled Asuka. She sat in the entry plug of unit-02, and had her eyes closed. A small monitor appeared to the left of her. Misato's face occupied it.

"Stay focused!" she commanded. "Synch-Ratio tests require your full attention!"

"I'm sorry!" said Asuka, although she clearly wasn't. "It's just dumb! Why should we have to keep with these dumb tests if all of the angels are gone?" Another monitor appeared to her right. Shinji's face was in this one.

"Come on, Asuka," he said. "This only takes a few minutes," Asuka swatted at his monitor.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "You know as well as I do how pointless this is!" A third monitor with Rei's expressionless gaze depicted on it appeared above Shinji's

"I would have to agree with her," Rei said unenthusiastically. "The purpose of this is lost to me,"

"All of you focus!" shouted Misato. "Rei and Shinji! Concentrate on your Eva's only!"

"Sorry," muttered Shinji.

"Understood," Rei said at the same time.

Misato looked at a few monitors. After studying them for a while, she commented on something that stood out to her. "Asuka's synch-ratio has gotten a lot higher,"

"I guess we have the wonderful Instrumentality Project to thank for that,"

The sound of Ritsuko's sarcastic comment from behind her made Misato turn. Ritsuko had been uninterested in her work lately and the comment she just made on a project that she helped with confused Misato. "What do you mean?" asked the commander.

"Nothing," muttered the blond. "I'm clocking out early," Without even waiting for approval from Gendo, she walked out of the room. Misato just stared at the closed door.

"What's up with her?" she said to herself. All she heard for a response was Asuka complaining.

"Is it over yet? I have other things to do!" Asuka shouted. Misato glared at the picture of the red-head in the monitor before sighing.

"Fine," she breathed. "Shut down. Good work you three,"

* * *

The locker room was cold. Shinji had already changed out of his plug suit and was buttoning the last few buttons of his white shirt. He finished getting dressed and grabbed the backpack from his locker. Asuka had already stormed out of there muttering about what a waste of time the test had been.

He closed the metal door to his locker and turned to leave when he heard a soft voice. "Ikari?" Shinji stopped moving at the sound of Rei's voice. He decided against going to the other side of the lockers and just answered her.

"Uh, what is it?" he asked. He hoped Rei would just continue the conversation like this. That was why he sighed when she called him over. Obligingly, he walked to the other side of the lockers. His face burned red when he saw Rei.

All the first child was wearing was the white shirt issued as part of the school uniform. Shinji was silently thankful she was wearing underwear. He didn't know how he would've reacted if the shirt was all she had on. She was staring at her hand.

"Ikari?" she asked again. "Why did you hesitate…?"

Shinji narrowed his eyes. "I don't know what you're…" he was interrupted by Rei.

"I was there when you killed the last angel," she said calmly. Shinji's face became unreadable. When he had to do that, she was watching?

"Kaworu," Shinji whispered. Why would Rei bring him up? Why would she even think that this was something he wanted to talk about?

"I need to understand," Rei said. "Why didn't you do your job as an Eva pilot?"

"Rei, you don't-," was all Shinji could say before Rei stopped him. She walked right up to his face and spoke.

"Isn't it your job to do as you are commanded?" Rei asked.

"Rei," Shinji wasn't allowed more then that before Rei spoke again.

"You were commanded to kill him, but you almost didn't," she said. "Why?"

"Rei!" Shinji was cut off again.

"I need you to tell me why you couldn't do it on the moment," she said. "Tell me," she was as emotionless as ever. Her crimson eyes stared directly into Shinji's eyes. He couldn't deal with this. He was going to… "Tell me," Rei said again.

"Stop it!" yelled Shinji. "Just stop!" Tears were flowing down his face. Rei stared at him.

"Why are you crying?" asked the girl. Her white-blue hair shined in the white light above them. Shinji moved a hand up to his cheek. He actually was crying. He turned, almost as if to hide his face from the girl.

"I-I have to go," he muttered. He started to walk away. He had to get out of there. He couldn't believe that he stopped when Rei called him again.

"Shinji," she said. He tried to stand completely still, but he was failing. His entire body was shaking. "I believe the Second held an emotion very close to love for you," Rei said calmly. "Please understand that I harbor no such thing," She spoke in the same monotone as always.

Shinji didn't even take time to think about what she'd said. As confusing as it was, he still had to leave. He readjusted his bag and left Rei alone in the locker room.

* * *

Misato picked up the can of beer that she'd just opened. Condensation dripped down the side of the metallic surface as she brought the edge up to her lips. She threw her head back and drank the cold beverage. When the can was empty she slammed it on the table. "Nothin' like a cold brew before bed!" she exclaimed. Asuka put her fork down.

"You mean four?" she muttered. Watching Misato down four cans in a row like she just did made her seriously consider the commander being an alcoholic. Seeing Asuka's look, Misato shook her head.

"Trust me," she said. "I'm far from," Asuka nodded and picked up the fork again, not even caring how Misato knew what she was thinking. The front door opened without warning. Both turned to see Shinji walking in from the dark rain outside.

His bangs were stuck to his head from the water. He was soaked. A small puddle even formed where he paused to take his shoes off. "Did you walk here all the way from NERV?" asked Misato. Asuka had walked out right when Misato was getting into her car. The red-head managed to get a ride back. But this was at least thirty minutes before the rain started. If Shinji left right after, it still shouldn't have taken him this long.

"Where've you been?" growled Asuka. "It was your turn to cook tonight! Since you didn't show, I had too…" she trailed off as she looked at Shinji. It wasn't only rain water that streamed down his face. Shinji slid open the door to his room and closed it once he was inside.

Misato and Asuka glanced at each other. Just this morning he was in such a great mood. What happened? Misato stood up and walked over to his door. She slowly slid it open. Shinji was lying on his bed. He hadn't even bothered to take off his wet cloths. Now she knew something wasn't right.

"Shinji?" she asked quietly. He didn't move from his side. Deciding it would be best just to leave him alone, Misato closed the door. She turned to Asuka. Asuka looked at her for a short while, and then went back to eating. Neither one said anything the rest of the night.

* * *

Shinji sat outside in the warm sun. He looked up the small cement hill that lead up to a fenced in area where the girls where swimming. This was a familiar scene. Him staring up at Rei as the other girls talked and laughed. The main difference was that this time he wasn't staring at Rei with a feeling of wonder.

Kensuke dropped to the ground next to him. He was breathing heavily. After a few seconds, he turned to Shinji. "Hey Shinji," he said. He readjusted his glasses. "You know? I think Toji was lucky," Finally, Shinji turned to talk with Kensuke.

"Where's Toji?" he said.

"Since we're doing track and field today," started Kensuke who had finally gained control of his breathing. "They didn't let Toji participate 'cuz of his leg," Shinji grimaced a little at that. That was his fault. The good thing was that Toji had no memory of what happened while he was in his Eva.

Shinji turned back to the fence above them. Kensuke attempted to follow his gaze, but apparently failed at finding what Shinji was looking at. "Who're you staring at?" he said. Shinji shook his head.

"Nothing," he said and then stood up. He turned his back to the fenced area and tried to think of something else.

* * *

Asuka stared at the diving board in front of her. The gym teacher said that today they were going to be practicing dives. She had no clue why they were doing this, but it didn't matter. This was just another chance for her to succeed.

"Next," started the gym teacher. She had already announced about twelve people to dive. From the names she had called, it seemed not to be in any specific order. "Hikari Horaki!"

"Good luck," said Asuka as Hikari walked up to the diving board. After a few seconds, the sound of water breaking confirmed Hikari's dive.

"Good!" called the teacher. "Next, is Asuka Langley Soryu!" Asuka walked over to the diving board. She turned towards Rei.

"Don't blink, Wonder-Girl," she said grinning. "You might just miss the best dive you'll ever see," Asuka jumped once to build momentum and then moved to dive. She managed a flip before sliding smoothly into the water.

When she pulled herself up from the pool with the shining metal of the ladder, she grinned at Rei. "Top that, Wonder-Girl," She started to wring some water out of her hair when Rei spoke.

"Your ignorance of the truth is quite irritating," she said. Asuka stopped and stared at her.

"I'm sorry?" she said as if she didn't understand what Rei had spoken.

"The way you continue to act, as if you are superior in everything, is without logic. To say that you are better at things that everyone can see you aren't is foolish. At least two other students here were better then you, and yet you assume that I will fail in comparison," Rei didn't stop speaking. Asuka just stared at her.

"That seems like a thoughtless thing to say considering you have never seen me dive, and at the same time we both know that if I was better then you, you would brush it off as luck. This mood of behavior also continues with the Eva's. You believe that you are the best at piloting them, but out of the three of us, you would probably be the worst," Asuka just stared in horror as Rei continued to speak.

"How you can continue to be blatantly ignorant of the truth has surpassed even my ability to apply logic. Also, you act as if you hate Shinji Ikari, but you know that you don't. You treat him like dirt aside from the fact that you have strong feelings for him. I might even be able to say that you love-!" Rei stopped speaking when Asuka slapped her across the face.

Rei slowly turned her head back to where it was before the assault. A small red mark grew larger as time passed. Rei moved a pale hand up to her cheek and stared at Asuka with her mouth slightly open. Asuka had her head tilted downward. Her bangs cast her eyes in shadow.

"How could you," Asuka said quietly. "You think that what you said wasn't wrong at all…" Asuka looked up. Her eyes were narrow as if trying to look tough, but her eyebrows and the tears forming beneath them betrayed her. "The worst part is…that you won't even know why I hit you…"

Tears were now falling freely from Asuka's eyes. The girl turned and ran from the pool. She was out of sight when a couple of girls walked up to Rei. "That was harsh!" said one.

"Yeah, you went too far," added another. The third was Hikari Horaki.

"Yeah, but still," she said. Hikari looked at the open gate to the fence that Asuka ran out of. "I've never seen her cry in public…"

* * *

The last bell rang. Shinji glanced up at the clock before swinging his bag over his shoulder. Asuka didn't come back to class. He hadn't seen her since gym. He swallowed the spit in his mouth before reluctantly walking over to Rei. "Have you seen Asuka?" Rei shook her head.

"Not since she ran off during gym," Rei said it so casually one would assume this happened every day. He nodded thanks and then left the building. He had to find Asuka. Something wasn't right.

Asuka sat near the edge of a small lake. This wasn't that far away from the school and it was a quiet place for her to think about things. She didn't go back to school after gym. The sound of footsteps came from behind her. Asuka turned to see who it was.

Shinji was walking towards her. "Asuka!" he called. He said her name again when he got closer. "What are you doing here?" he asked. Asuka hugged her knees. When he got closer, he could barely talk. Surprise was all he felt. "Were you crying?"

"No," Asuka said, frantically trying to wipe her eyes. "Wonder-Girl just…pissed me off. That's all,"

"Rei?" Shinji asked quietly. He sat down next to her. "She seems different," Asuka gave him a look. They both just sat there for a while. Asuka actually felt better after a while. Maybe it was because Shinji was there. She shook her head. She knew that was why, but couldn't even admit it to herself. Finally, Shinji stood up. "Ready to go home?" he asked.

Asuka nodded. He started walking away. Asuka slowly stood up. "Shinji?" she spoke so quietly that he almost didn't hear her. Shinji stopped walking and turned a little. What Asuka said next surprised him even more then the fact that she'd been crying. At first, he thought he was hearing things. The surprise faded, and Shinji just smiled afterwards.

"Thank you," Asuka said.

* * *

Okay. That was chapter 2, hope you enjoyed. I know Rei isn't the same, but there's a reason. Thanks for reading, hope you still like it. Please review. 


	3. That Girl Made Two People Cry,

I have to apologize. This took way longer to finish then I anticipated. My family decided to do something on the weekend and I only had about half of this done. I'm a bad enough procrastinator as it is; I really don't need something to interfere with the deadlines I set. I apologize again for this long time between the update. It won't happen with chapter four.

Once again, thanks to all who reviewed and to all who read. Now, I know Rei is different. There's a reason she's not like the Second Rei. I can't say much more for…reasons…so enjoy chapter 3. Just a quick comment on a review:

shinebird: I was actually planning on that happening later. Cool coincidence that we both thought of it, huh? Well, probably not. That might not be the most original idea to happen in an Eva fic. Thanks for reviewing though, and hope you like the chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion.

* * *

Rei stood in front of a wooden chair. She was wearing her school uniform and holding a small black case. Her gaze was fixed intently on something in front of her. Rei sat down in the chair and opened the case. She took out a violin. She slid the case under her chair and moved the violin into position.

Rei began to play the instrument. Her movements were slow at first as the melody began. Gradually, her pace quickened as she neared the main theme. Her crimson eyes were closed as she focused only on the music.

* * *

Episode 3: That Girl Made Two People Cry, and Didn't Know How Either Time

* * *

Rei's movements on the string instrument were smooth and quick. The tone was classical with a haunting feeling to it. She slowed slightly as she neared the end of the piece she was playing. She finished with a long low tone, and opened her eyes. Her gaze was fixed on the giant angel crucified in front of her.

It had a mask-like face. One side had four eyes while the other had three. Its skin was a gray-white and it seemed to stare down at her. Rei put the instrument away, and stood up. She stared at the creature before turning to leave the room.

* * *

Asuka was on her side in bed. The moonlight shinning in from her window illuminated her back. Her eyes narrowed as her mind wandered to what had happened earlier that day.

_"Your ignorance of the truth is quite irritating," Rei said. "The way you continue to act, as if you are superior in everything, is without logic. This mood of behavior also continues with the Eva's. You believe that you are the best at piloting them, but out of the three of us, you would probably be the worst. Also, you act as if you hate Shinji Ikari, but you know that you don't. You treat him like dirt aside from the fact that you have strong feelings for him."_

_Asuka slapped her across the face. She couldn't stop her eyes from watering. _

Asuka rolled onto her back. She thought she saw an image of Shinji on the ceiling. Asuka sat up and shook her head. What was wrong with her? All she could do was replay the day in her head over and over. Why did this bother her so much? Her mouth was dry. The red-head stood up and walked to her door. She slid it open and walked towards the sink.

She grabbed a plastic cup from the cabinet and filled it with cold water from the sink. The girl tilted her head back as she drank the contents of the cup. She lowered her head when the cup was empty. "Disgusting," she whispered. Then she filled the cup again with more water from the sink.

Asuka turned to go back to her room. She walked by Shinji's room and stopped. She heard a faint groan inside. Asuka slid the door open. Shinji was sleeping on his side with his back facing Asuka. He was talking in his sleep.

"Kaworu," he muttered. Asuka slid his door closed. She walked back to her room and set the cup next to her bed. Who was Kaworu? This was great. Like she needed something else to have in her head. She crawled back into bed and glance at the digital clock next to her.

_3:45, great, _Asuka thought. She was going to have fun getting up for school tomorrow. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

Asuka held the toast up to her mouth as she chewed what she'd already eaten. She took another bite before setting it down on the plate in front of her. It was early. The sun had barely risen and the pale light of dawn shone through the windows.

Shinji opened the door to his room, rubbing his eyes. "Asuka?" he asked. She didn't acknowledge him. She instead occupied herself with drinking some of the juice she had poured herself. "Why are you up so early?"

The second-child stood up and walked over to the sink with her plate. She turned on the water and started to clean the object in her hand. Shinji just stared. It was weird enough she was actually cleaning something, but why was she up so early? And was she ignoring him?

"What's wrong?" asked Shinji. Asuka turned to face him.

"Nothing," she said. She smiled a little. "Just a little tired," In truth, she'd woken up about an hour after she went back to bed the previous night, and that was pretty much all the sleep she'd gotten. She turned towards the door and grabbed her bag. "I'm going to school now. See you later!" She waved with her hand but didn't turn around. The girl walked out of the house leaving Shinji standing there to stare.

* * *

"You know this proves my point the other day," Shinji said as he walked into the classroom. He went over to Asuka's desk. Asuka just stared out the window she sat next to. Without bothering to look, she grunted a response.

"Hm?" she asked unenthusiastically. Shinji readjusted his bag.

"About you waiting for me?" he said. Asuka turned her head. She looked right into his eyes.

"Yeah," she said. Then she leaned forward and rested her hand on a hand, supported by her elbow. Shinji looked a little concerned.

"Asuka," he started. "What's wrong?" he asked. Asuka didn't answer for a while. When she did, it was another one-word answer.

"Nothing," she said flatly. Shinji was about to pry further when the bell rang. He turned towards his desk and left Asuka to stare out the window. When she considered him far enough away, Asuka dropped her head to rest on the desk.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ She thought to herself. _Why am I avoiding him?_ Could what Rei said actually be affecting her this badly? The last thing Rei had said seemed to be bothering her the most. _Why is that bothering me? I definitely do _not_ like that idiot._

She turned towards Shinji. He was laughing at something one of his dorky friends had said. He'd definitely changed. When she first met him, he wasn't this outgoing. He was shy and pathetic. He wasn't fit to be called her rival back then. Now he was even defending himself when she ate his toast in the morning.

_I don't like him, right?_ Asuka asked herself. She felt her face growing red so she turned away from the rest of the class. When she felt it had subsided a little, she turned around to glare at Rei. The first-child was staring out another window. She cursed her in her head, and then turned to the front of the class as the teacher walked in.

* * *

The last bell of the day rang and student started to pack up their things. Some had done so in advance and were leaving right away. Asuka just sat at her desk. She watched Shinji pack up his things for a while before he started to leave. "Um, Shinji?" she called.

Shinji turned and looked at Asuka. He walked towards her. "Yeah?" he asked. By now the classroom was empty. Even Rei had left. Asuka stood up and leaned against the desk nonchalantly.

"I…um…" Shinji saw her turning red as she tried to speak. What was she trying to say? If it was something even _she_ had trouble saying, then it might not be good news. Her mouth opened wide and formed words that Shinji didn't get.

He awkwardly laughed to himself a little. "What?" he asked seeing as he had no idea what she was saying. Asuka opened her mouth again to speak. Her voice was faint and barely audible.

"I think…I…" Asuka stopped. Shinji felt himself starting to blush a little. He thought he knew what she was going to say. He silently urged Asuka to go on. Asuka started to speak again, when the classroom door burst open.

Rei was standing there with the doorknob still clutched in her hands. She stared at them both with a slight hint of urgency in her gaze. "We need to go to NERV," she said. He voice sounded the same as always, but the seriousness of her stare made Shinji start walking towards her.

The cause of the red in Asuka's face changed from embarrassment to anger in a flash. "What do you mean, 'go to NERV'? There's no reason to!" She was furious. Rei stared directly in her eyes, unwavering.

"They need us in the Eva's," Rei said. Asuka stared in shock.

* * *

The three Evangelion pilots ran down one of the many dark corridors of the building they were in. Shinji and the other two were all wearing their plug-suits. The white of Rei's suit was in the front of the trio with Asuka second and Shinji trailing her. He listened as a conversation started between the second and first children.

"The angels are all dead! Why the hell do we need to pilot them still?" Asuka shouted over the sound of the other two panting.

"A large unidentifiable mass has appeared in the area of Tokyo-3," Rei seemed content with her answer and continued to run. Asuka made a face.

"Yeah, that told me a lot about what we're supposed to be fighting," she said sarcastically. Rei didn't even give a response. The three saw light appear at the end of the tunnel. They had almost reached their destination. Shinji swallowed painfully and thought of what could be bad enough to make them need to pilot again.

* * *

"Units 00 through 02 are ready to launch!" called a female voice. The girl operating the computer typed into the console in front of her. Once again, Ritsuko wasn't here. That left her to do the majority of computer work.

"Release primary locks on unit 00!" Misato called. This seemed like the wise choice. Shinji, although he hadn't recently, might hesitate when fighting this new enemy. Asuka seemed like she might actually be a liability if she had been sent up. Her synch-ratio may have increased to above her old scores, but the last time she tried to pilot her unit she couldn't even get it to move. Naturally, this left Rei to send out.

"Releasing primary locks on unit-00!" A few strokes across the keyboard and the system responded. The main locks on the prototype-Eva were released with a hiss of steam.

As the operations to launch an Eva unfolded below him, Gendo sat with his hands folded under the tip of his nose so the only part visible of his lower face was the facial hair. The loud voice of Asuka sounded through the speakers.

"What the hell are we even fighting?" she demanded. This did raise an interesting question. Gendo glanced towards one of the computer screens placed a few yards ahead of them.

"Report," was all he had to mutter. Maya turned towards the other two working with her. She glanced at the screen to her left and in front of them and new the answer before they said it. Her shock was apparent.

"The MAGI have not made a conclusive decision on what it is. All they can pick up is that the blood pattern is similar to, though not the same as that of an angel. Its similarity to humans seems to have dropped significantly and that looks like the key difference,"

Gendo listened to the report. Fuyutsuki happened to say what he was thinking. "Similar to the angels?" he sounded surprised. Then he leaned lower towards Gendo. "This wasn't in the scrolls…" he said quietly, his eyes narrowing. Gendo nodded.

Gendo almost smirked a little. Fuyutsuki struck a valid topic. This was almost amusing. Gendo whispered his response back to Fuyutsuki. "It looks like someone is trying to defy the word of God,"

* * *

Rei felt the force of gravity increase greatly as the lift deploying her unit into battle was rocketed upwards. Rei sat calmly in the entry plug. The LCL surrounding her bubbled slightly from the force. Finally, her unit came to a stop and the side of a "building" slid under the steel that encircled it. Rei stood still as a rather large gun shot up next to her in a similar fashion in a smaller building. Rei walked forward a few paces and grabbed the gun. She positioned both hands on it and readied herself for the enemy.

"Rei," Misato's voice came through the above speaker. "Can you see your target?"

"No," Rei said calmly.

"Alright, advance through the city until you find it, but go _carefully_. We don't know what this thing is capable of," Misato sounded as if that was her only instruction.

"Understood," Rei said. She walked forward, surveying the area. It was quiet in the city. Rei advanced for a while pointing her gun left and right. Then she sensed something behind her. Rei whipped around just in time to see a large beige colored, for lack of a better word, blob. The thing wrapped tightly around her, and she felt a constricting feeling due the nerve connections. Her screen of her surroundings went black.

* * *

Shinji and Asuka were being sent up at the same time. The screens in Central Dogma showed the creature that had attacked Rei. It jumped onto her Eva from behind, and then a blue wave seemed to be expelled by it. The screen reverted to static momentarily, and when it was back to operating normally, both the enemy and unit-00 were missing.

Shinji couldn't help but be nervous as he was sent into the battle. The thing got Rei. It snuck up and surprised _Rei_! And then there was that blue wave. What was up with that? This couldn't go well.

Their exits to the city opened simultaneously and they both stepped out and grabbed the guns next to them. They walked forwards slowly and surveyed where they were. There was nothing to be found. "Shinji, Asuka!" Misato's voice sounded in both Eva's.

"Rei's signal has disappeared. We can't get any readings on her!" Asuka looked ahead of her as her face contorted to one of shock.

"What?" was all the red-head could say.

"Whatever that creature did to Rei cut off her signal. Proceed with caution and try to find them!" Both pilots nodded and hesitantly continued to survey the area. After a short while that seemed like a terrifying millennium, Asuka said something.

"Shinji!" she called. Shinji turned his Eva so the screen could see what Asuka had motioned towards. Unit-00 was standing perfectly still. Its back was facing them. Shinji moved forward. The unit he was heading towards suddenly turned around. Shinji and Asuka both saw what had happened to the Eva.

The blob of an enemy had stretched its bulbous shape thin and stretched tightly around unit-00. It encased the arms and legs as well as the head. What looked like veins under the skin of the mass shortened and contracted around the trigger finger of the unit. Asuka and Shinji both ran in opposite directions as the enemy made unit-00 open fire on them.

"Dear God!" called Maya from inside Central Dogma. "It's encased the unit and rendered it incapable of moving on its own!"

"Damn it!" cried Misato. "What are we supposed to do now?" she thought aloud. Any means of attacking the thing would directly result in harming Rei due to how thinly it had stretched to cover her.

Shinji and Asuka had obviously realized the same thing. They weren't returning fire. Misato had to tell Shinji and Asuka to remain calm. She reached down to speak into the microphone positioned next to Maya.

"Shinji and Asuka," Misato's voice once again filled the entry plug. "I want you to-!" Her voice cut out in mid sentence. The blue wave had gone out from the enemy again.

"Misato? Misato!" Shinji called through the entry plug in hopes of communicating. Apparently, that blue wave stopped any chances of that. That wasn't all the wave had done. The Umbilical Cord powering both Eva's released itself and dropped behind them. The counter representing the amount of time left in which the unit had power appeared. There was no way to communicate with Asuka either.

Suddenly, the creature jumped off of Rei and reformed in the air. It dive bombed towards Asuka.

* * *

Rei sighed deeply when the thing got off of her. It had been constricting inside of the entry plug and she suddenly found that the LCL didn't oxygenate well under that kind of pressure. Relief turned back to her serious attitude as she saw Asuka struggle to keep it off of her unit. It seemed to be winning. The creature had drained a considerable amount of the internal battery supply after the unit's Umbilical Cord detached itself. She had about ten seconds left of power supply.

Rei released something and then reached the hand of the Eva behind her to grab the long knife that protruded from behind her. The girl readied the Progknife and started to run towards unit-02.

* * *

Asuka struggled to keep the creature off of her. It was definitely the victor so far. It had flattened itself tightly against the head of unit-02. Thankfully, despite the enemies positioning, she could still see. Asuka changed her tune about being lucky to see when she saw unit-00 running towards her at full speed with her Progknife in hand.

Asuka screamed something in German and tried desperately to close her eyes. Her body refused to cooperate and she was stuck staring at the large knife heading directly towards the head of her unit. The amount of pain that would be involved with the Nerve Connecters still in place made her eyes widen in horror.

Rei was going to stab her right along with the enemy attached to the head. She screamed again as the knife came closer. It was about twenty yards away now. She was going to do it. Rei wasn't stopping.

It looked like unit-00 had powered down suddenly. The battery must have been completely exhausted. The unit slowed with the knife still in position and stopped right before the blade could make contact.

The creature seemed like it was scared from the close call and jumped off. The sound of the gun firing from Shinji meant it was near him. It wasn't too much later that Asuka could have looked down with her Eva and saw the remains of the creature disintegrate.

She didn't care though. All Asuka could do was stared at the large blade in front of her face as a tear slid down her cheek.

* * *

The last bell of the school day rang and Shinji stood up to leave. Asuka didn't come to school. She seemed kind of shaken up by the events that happened yesterday and stayed home.

Once again, Shinji was the last one to leave the classroom. He walked out into the deserted hallway and started towards the steps. He walked down for a while and came to the first floor. Shinji pulled open the small box designated for him to put his school shoes in and retrieve his normal pair of sneakers.

A small voice pulled his attention to the left. Rei Ayanami was standing a few lockers down. Shinji couldn't help but feel like he wanted to leave. With how Rei had been acting the past few days, he didn't have much interest in talking with her. Shinji slid his shoes off and placed them in the small locker. He took he sneakers out, slid them on, and attempted to leave.

"Please don't leave," Rei said. The voice matched her expressionless. Shinji felt like slapping himself again when he stopped and turned towards her. "The other day when I tried to talk to you about the last angel," Shinji flinched. "It was not my intent to make you upset. I merely wanted to know what made it so difficult to kill him,"

"Well," Just like the last time they talked, Rei cut him off.

"I no longer hold an interest in continuing that conversation," said the girl. Shinji gave a mental sigh of relief. "I have other matters to discuss,"

* * *

Asuka had to talk to Shinji. She didn't know why, but it just couldn't wait for him to get home, especially with Misato there. She held to tell Shinji that…_What do I have to tell him?_ She asked herself. The second-child felt her face turn red as she neared the school building. She was wearing her uniform and made up some story about needing to get something she forgot for homework to a teacher who was walking out of the building.

It didn't take her long to get to their classroom, but Shinji wasn't there. She didn't come across him on the way here, so that left only one place he could be, and that would be getting his sneakers. Asuka descended the stairs and slid open the door to the room of small lockers.

* * *

"The way I've acted the past few days may have seemed hurtful towards others, but I do not understand how this was construed from my actions. I apologize for any grief I caused you," Rei spoke to Shinji intently. Shinji couldn't do much more but listen. "Also, I won't be returning to this school. I no longer find a need for this place. Please tell the others. And…" Rei stopped talking and Shinji could do little more then stand there.

Rei moved upwards and locked her lips on his. After a few seconds, the gentle kiss broke off as Rei pulled back. Shinji stared in shock and disbelief. Rei wiped her mouth. "Don't misinterpret this incident," she said quietly. "I just had to be sure I'm not the same as the Second. I had to be sure I hold my own…" she looked towards the ground and sounded distant. "Individuality," Rei looked back up. "Goodbye, Shinji Ikari," The girl turned and walked out of Shinji's view. There was a sound like a door opening and closing, and then she was gone.

Shinji turned around to leave, still in disbelief about what had just happened. Then Shinji saw her. Asuka was just standing there. She stared at Shinji. "Asuka…" started Shinji. The girl's hands balled up into fists. She bit her bottom lip and felt her eyes water. She turned and ran off, and Shinji could do nothing but stand there at stare at where she'd been.

* * *

Okay! There was chapter 3! Again, sorry about the lengthy update time. The origin and what that creature was will be told shortly! Also, be aware that after this chapter there will be a drastic decrease in Rei appearances. Its not that I don't like her, I mean, she's one of my favorite characters, but for the story, she has to appear less frequently. She'll still be here though.

Thanks for reading and waiting for that long update. Please Review!


	4. Feathers of the Truth

Thank you reviewers and readers! Before I get started on this chapter though…

RahXephon: I'm going to assume you meant that in a helpful way and not out of spite. I understand the summary doesn't tell the main story, but it does its job. It tells people where the story starts, and if they like that idea and that point then they read. If they don't like it, then they stop reading. The title also has to do with the later story, but I don't expect people to get that…Anyway, thanks for taking time to share that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion.

* * *

A girl with shoulder length blond hair stood on top of a hill that towered over the school she was about to walk into. She already wore the school uniform and had a messenger bag pinned tightly between her left arm and body. Birds flew in the clear sky behind her. She smiled widely.

* * *

Episode 4: Feathers of the Truth

* * *

Shinji walked into his homeroom. Asuka had already left when he woke up in the morning. They hadn't really talked since…well since… 

_Rei moved upwards and locked her lips on his. After a few seconds, the gentle kiss broke off as Rei pulled back. Shinji turned around to leave, and saw Asuka standing behind him. _

That had been two days ago. He and Asuka hadn't really had a chance to talk since then. Speaking of which, Asuka was leaning on Hikari's desk. The class president was laughing at something the red-head had just said. Asuka seemed fine. She even started to laugh herself when Hikari made a response. Shinji decided to approach her.

"Hey-," Shinji intended to say _Hey Asuka,_ but the girl turned and walked to her desk as soon as he started to talk. She didn't even acknowledge him. Shinji thought of walking towards Asuka to try and talk again, but deciding against it when the bell rang. He sat down at his desk and Toji leaned forward to talk to him.

"Trouble in paradise?" Toji grinned. Shinji felt his face turn read. He stammered with words as he thought of something to say. Luckily, Kensuke decided to say something that made Toji sit back down.

"And how's it going with Hikari? Eating all your lunches?" Toji looked irritated with the comment and leaned back in his chair. The teacher walked in and began talking about a notice that would be passed out soon. He hadn't been going for very long when the door to the classroom was thrown open.

Blond hair and a loud voice came into the room with the force of a storm. A girl walked into the class. She was wearing the school uniform and holding a messenger bag. She moved some of her hair behind her left ear.

"Hi everyone!" exclaimed the voice. "I'm sorry I'm late. My name is Ariel and I'm going to be your new classmate! Now that I'm here the lesson can began!"

No one said anything. Ariel smiled and started to walk towards the empty desk where Rei had sat. The teacher seemed to have recovered form his shock and spoke. "Excuse me, what are you doing here?" Ariel stopped walking and turned. She closed her eyes and smiled again.

"Well, I was told a student dropped out of your class so they said I could go here!" The teacher seemed uncertain, but decided just to start a lesson. Ariel walked to her seat with an aura of happiness about her. Everything seemed to slow down as she walked by Shinji's seat.

Her mouth didn't move and she didn't even look at him, but Shinji still distinctly heard her voice. "Hello, Ikari Shinji." Circumstances of how she communicated aside, there was something ominous about what she said. It just felt…_dark_. Like she held nothing but hate for him.

Shinji stared with his mouth open a little as she sat in Rei's seat. She was still smiling. She set the messenger bag down and stared towards the front of the class. Shinji slowly turned his head forward again and saw a small white feather on his desk. He stared at it for a while wondering who this girl was.

* * *

School had let out about half an hour ago, but Toji Suzuhara had stayed behind. He'd had detention. Damn that teacher and her homework. Maybe if it wasn't so confusing, he might actually do it. 

He had to stay after for half an hour and in that time frame, the entire school seemed to have become deserted. Still feeling irritated for having to stay after, Toji walked into the room where he had left his sneakers. He scratched his head as he opened the lock-box they were in. Toji grabbed the sneakers and turned around.

_Slam_

His body was being held above the ground and his head was slammed into the lockers. The hand on his forehead that was holding him there started to burn. Toji couldn't see anything and felt nothing but pain. He yelled out once before he blacked out.

* * *

Shinji opened the front door to Misato's apartment. Misato, who had been in the middle of drinking a beer, set the can down on the table and smiled. "Hey, Shinji!" she greeted. "I'm surprised you and Asuka didn't walk home together," 

"Asuka isn't here yet?" asked Shinji, glancing at the clock. School had been out for an hour now. Misato shook her head.

"I thought she was coming home with you," Misato said. Then she shrugged. "Oh well," Shinji walked to his room and gently closed the door behind him. Now Asuka was avoiding this place? Shinji felt his stomach churn. He wasn't feeling good. Whether or not he was actually sick was a coin toss, but he definitely wanted to lie down.

Shinji walked over to his bed and collapsed onto it. He blinked for a few times before letting his eyes close.

* * *

Night had fallen a little over an hour ago. Rei Ayanami stared out the dark window in the small apartment she called home. She still dressed in her school uniform aside from the fact she wasn't going there anymore. The girl had kissed Shinji, and then said that she just wanted to see if she was the same as the second. 

She never told him what she had discovered. Maybe it was for the best. She had felt…_something_ when she kissed him. A strange shock had flowed through her that felt wonderful. She actually enjoyed it.

_Does that mean I am the same? _Rei thought to herself. _Do I hold no individuality?_ Rei shook her head. The feeling of what had happened aside; she didn't harbor the same emotions for Gendo as the second. And something else was strange. She started to like going to Terminal Dogma. No, she felt like she had the _need_ to go there. Why? What was happening to her?

A gentle knock on the door ripped her out of her thoughts. The only person she could think of who it might be was Shinji, but he wouldn't show up this late. Was it someone from NERV? Rei walked towards the door and opened it.

Immediately she felt a hand cold with sweat clasp around her throat. It forced her against the wall. Rei choked and struggled for air. The owner of the hand was a blond girl who Rei had never seen before.

"Hello, first child!" The girl spoke as if she were greeting her on a sunny day. Who the hell was she? Rei didn't have to wait long for the girl to answer her question. "My name is Ariel," she whispered. "It's great to meet you,"

The grip on the first-child's throat tightened. Rei let out a short cry as her windpipe was cut off completely. Then the second hand reached down and twisted Rei's arm with unnatural strength. There was a sickening crack as Rei felt her shoulder dislocate. She wanted to cry out in pain, but no sound could escape her sealed throat.

"Let's play a fun little game," said Ariel. Her lips parted to reveal white teeth and formed into a smile.

* * *

Shinji woke up from a loud bang. The front door had just been slammed. Asuka was home. Shinji reflexively tensed as she walked by his room. He thought she paused for a minute, but the heard her door close. She still didn't want to talk. 

Moonlight was the main source of light in his room. Shinji sighed and got up. He was thirsty. He walked towards his door and opened it. He walked into the kitchen and found the fridge. Behind the arsenal of beer was a can of juice which Shinji took. He opened the can and had just brought it up to his lips when Asuka opened her door.

They both just stood there for a few minutes. Asuka was in a night shirt and short-shorts and Shinji was still standing there with the can up to his lips. After the initial moment of shock Shinji realized how stupid he had to look with the can where it was. He lowered it without breaking the eye contact they had had for the past few minutes.

"Asuka," he said after a while. Asuka just turned around and closed her door. Shinji walked towards it for a few steps but stopped. It was probably best to leave her alone right now. Shinji walked back to his room.

* * *

The glasses of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi gleamed with the white light from the computer. Her eyes were now invisible. Her fingers glided across the keypad in front of her at an amazing speed. In a few seconds, a list of available Eva pilot candidates popped up. Ritsuko felt a smile slide across her face and then it melted back to the emotionless gaze she carried these days. 

It was only a few more minutes before she'd both added a name to the list and moved it to the next one to be chosen. What she was doing would make the old her sick. What she was doing was something that would definitely have been frowned upon by her old self.

_But that was then,_ she reminded herself. That's right. That was then, and this was now. The now that would solve everything that was wrong in her life. This would make her mother proud. This would make everyone happy.

_Would it? _The thought of doubt crossed her mind for only a few seconds before it was wiped away with the same thing she'd been telling herself for a few weeks now. This would take care of her problems, this would make mother proud.

She smiled a little before she shutdown the computer and was enshrouded in the blackness of the room.

* * *

Shinji walked into school. He reached the area where he was supposed to switch shoes, and saw a crowd of people gathered around something. Shinji pushed his way up a little and saw Toji lying on the floor unconscious. There was a weird circular mark on his head that looked like he'd got a bad sunburn. 

"Toji!" shouted Shinji and ran down to kneel next to him. Toji gradually opened his eyes. His seemed dazed and confused, but his vision came into focus on Shinji. His pupils shrank and his eyes widened in fear.

"Get away from me!" he yelled. Shinji stood and backed up a few paces. "You…in the Eva…you…"

"Toji, what are you talking about?" asked Shinji. "What happened?"

"In the Eva…" Again Toji didn't finish the sentence.

"Toji, what is it?" asked Shinji. He'd never seen him like this. What could he be trying to say? "What-!" he was cut off as Toji yelled the rest of his sentence.

"You tried to kill me!" he yelled. Shinji stared in shock. "In the Eva, you tried to kill me!" he was talking about the time his Eva became one of the Angels.

"But, Toji-," he was cut off as a teacher came to direct Toji out of the room. Now everyone in the room was staring at him. Shinji couldn't even move. That whole event had been bad enough. Now Toji remembered, and accused Shinji of trying to kill him. Shinji stared at where he'd left.

* * *

Asuka and Shinji stood in a large room. This room connected to the area where they would board their Eva's and led towards the room where they would be monitored. This was another synch-ratio test. Probably the strangest part was that Ayanami wasn't there. 

Misato stood in front of both of them. They were wearing their plug suits, and waited for Misato to start telling them what she had to say. Maybe it was an explanation as to why Rei wasn't here? Shinji couldn't have been more accurate with that thought.

"Rei Ayanami won't be joining you today," Misato said flatly. "Something happened. She's in critical care," Shinji looked surprised.

"What happened?" he tried to sound calm. In truth, Rei had made him uncomfortable the past week or so and as a result, he didn't feel much concern. He just didn't want Asuka to think he cared about her as much as he got the feeling she did.

"We don't know," responded the woman. "She's hurt badly, and we just know that we needed a replacement pilot for a while," This time, Asuka responded.

"So…is there a replacement today?" asked Asuka. Misato nodded.

"Ritsuko contacted them, and they're ready for their first synch-ratio test," As if waiting for her cue, Ariel walked out in an orange and white plug-suit.

"Hi, you two!"

Shinji stared in shock. What was she doing here? Even as he thought it Shinji knew how dumb the thought was. _She's taking Rei's place. _Something about this girl definitely wasn't right. She adjusted her blond hair before turning to smile at Shinji. Shinji looked at Asuka, but saw that she was staring intently at a black wall.

* * *

Shinji pulled his shirt on. He was in the locker room again. This time though, Rei wasn't here and Ariel had left. Now it was just him and Asuka. Shinji finished dressing and slowly walked to the other side. Asuka had clearly been done changing for a while. She sat on the bench provided in her school uniform. 

"Asuka?" Shinji approached cautiously. To his surprise, Asuka didn't get up and leave. She just sat there. "Are you…" he searched around his head for something to sat. "…okay?"

"I'm fine," Asuka lied. "Just run down to the hospital. I know how much you want to check on Ayanami,"

"No!" Shinji exclaimed louder then he would've preferred. "Asuka, listen. What you saw…" he was cut off by Asuka.

"I know what I saw!" she yelled. "You and Ayanami have been getting closer ever since I've known you,"

"No," Shinji said. "She's just…" He couldn't think of what to say. What _could_ he say? This was awkward on more levels then one, especially combined with how he was feeling.

"Just what?" Asuka asked. Then her eyes started to water. "And just what am I? Some friend you care about less then others?"

"How can you say that?" asked Shinji quietly. "You know that isn't-,"

"Shut-up!" yelled the girl. She was crying now. "You love wonder-girl! I get it! I mean, Rei, Kaworu, just how far down on your list am I!" she cried. Shinji flinched a little. She shouldn't even know Kaworu's name. How could she? She was in the hospital when Shinji met him. But that wasn't important. He stood where he was and his face burned red as he finally said something he should have said a while ago.

"Ayanami…she kind of scares me, and I don't love her…" Shinji swallowed hard. "Because…I love you,"

Asuka, who had been staring at the floor suddenly looked straight ahead at the lockers in front of her. It was quiet for a few seconds. Shinji wished he could take back what he said. He thought it was true, but…Damn it, how could he _say_ that?

Asuka's tears stopped and she was red in the cheeks. She stared forward with her mouth open for a short while before uttering a single word. "…Idiot," she said before standing up and walking out of the room.

* * *

Alright, I finally finished this. This wasn't supposed to take as long as it did, and I'm not really proud of this chapter, but it's necessary for this part of the story. Oh well. The next chapter should be better…Please review, and thanks for reading. 


	5. Mind Games

Okay, after continuing complaints about my summary, I tried to change it. Let me know if you think this one is better…It's difficult to summarize this story because of the different story arches that this is going to go through. I know I should try to get the main one, but it's…complicated…

Oh well. I should probably also say something along the lines of "Sorry I didn't update!", but planning how this chapter would turn out would take a while and then there was last Tuesday when some huge storm came and knocked out my power for all that day and Wednesday, so that didn't exactly help. And then there's the fact that I started to play Final Fantasy X-2 again and got into it…

Well, at least this finally got out. Hope you enjoy it, and hope you're still reading. Thanks to all who are and to everyone who reviewed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva.

* * *

Episode 5: Mind Games

Misato sat cross-legged on one of the chairs in her kitchen. She glanced over at the clock noticing how late it was. Shouldn't Shinji and Asuka have left by now? Unless they left before the sun was up then there was no way Misato wouldn't have seen them. There was school today, right?

She was answered with two screams sounding through the house at the same time. Both Shinji and Asuka opened their respective doors to their rooms. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and then both suddenly charged for the bathroom. Shinji's door was closer, but Asuka was faster. They reached the bathroom at the same time and fought in the doorway to see who would get in first.

"Get out of the way, Shinji!" growled Asuka as she moved a hand to Shinji's face to push him away. Shinji had both hands on the door frame and was stopping Asuka from getting in. He was also pulling himself forward to resist the force pushing him away by his face.

"I'm already in front of you…" muttered Shinji, still trying to hold his ground.

"But I'm a girl!" argued Asuka.

"So?" Shinji managed to say before feeling his grip slip as Asuka's strength seemed to increase suddenly. He fell to his butt as Asuka stood proudly in the doorway.

"So _I_ get to go first!" proclaimed Asuka and slammed the door. Shinji sighed in defeat and moved over to the counter to get breakfast.

"You two are back to normal," commented Misato.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Shinji, turning to face her.

"You two have been quiet for a while. It's actually refreshing to have this in the morning again," Misato laughed a little. "I'm starting to wonder how I lived with just Pen-pen here,"

Shinji nodded a little then went back to breakfast. When his food was almost done he heard a loud _thunk _followed by Asuka yelling "Damn it!" That meant she was about halfway done. She usually dropped the shampoo bottle when she was in a rush. Shinji hurried to eat knowing that she would be out soon.

* * *

Shinji opened the door to the classroom. Toji was there and as soon as he noticed Shinji his eyes widened in fear. _He honestly blames me for everything,_ Shinji thought. Shinji sighed and sat down in his seat, waiting for another long school day to end.

When the last bell rang, the class cleared out. Asuka didn't wait for him, but she didn't avoid him. She was acting as if he'd never said anything the other day. That was fine by him. The whole thing had been embarrassing as hell. Still, part of him wanted her to acknowledge what he'd said.

He'd been thinking about this for a while when he got the sudden sensation of being watched. Shinji looked over his shoulder and saw Ariel staring at him. He matched her gaze with an expressionless stare. After a few seconds of this, the blond stood up, never breaking their eye contact.

"Shinji, can you tell me something?" asked the blond, but the way she phrased it told him he couldn't say no. "Do you know what it's like," she spaced the words, and even paused before finishing. Then she smiled sinisterly. "To be trapped in an Eva while your friend tries to kill you?"

Shinji's eyes widened and his pupils narrowed. "What…?" She kept up that horrible smile.

"You know, his mind is pretty jumbled," Ariel said as innocently as if she were discussing the weather. "He's suppressing a lot of things, and trying not to let the fact that his sister still isn't out of the hospital get to him, but it is,"

"What are you talking about…?" Shinji was starting to fear the girl. How could she know any of this?

"Please don't interrupt me, Shin-Kun. It's easier for everyone," Ariel said with a dark tone. He wanted to leave here. He wanted to be as far away from this as he could possibly be. "You know, he had a pretty good synch score. He didn't even know how he did it. Misato was a little surprised too. He forgot everything about the Eva by choice. Too bad he didn't know _your _side of the story. I bet he wouldn't be so afraid of you. But I'd like to. Let me see it,"

She moved a hand towards his head but Shinji shot up. He moved back a good couple of steps and backed into a wall. "I understand," said Ariel. "But you'll have to let me in some time, Shin-Kun,"

Ariel walked out of the classroom and walked down the hall. Shinji stood there for a while leaning against the wall. He breathed in deeply. He knew there was something wrong with that girl. Shinji exhaled and saw another feather on the ground in front of him.

* * *

Rei stared at the ceiling above her. Her head hurt. Hell, her whole body hurt, but at least she was alive. To be honest, Rei wasn't even sure how she was awake. The hum of machines to her right near a window that showed the geo-front were what she assumed was keeping her alive.

A quick and painful test proved she couldn't do much more then stare at the ceiling. This was great. How did she let this happen to her? No, she didn't _let_ this happen. She didn't have a choice. That girl was...well, she didn't know what she was. It definitely wasn't human though.

The door clicked open to her left. Rei assumed it was a nurse or something coming to check on her. Rei felt her mouth go dry when she saw a flash of blond hair and a smile that was like looking back into that night.

"Hello, first child!" she said happily before pulling a chair up to Rei's bed. The breathing tube in her throat made it impossible for her to scream. "I just came to check up on you!" said the blond with another grin. Jesus, she was acting like an old friend despite the fact that she was the one who put her in here.

"I see you're on life support, that's good," cooed Ariel. Rei struggled through pain and immobility to move her hand for something, _anything_ that will make this girl go away. "I bet you'd like to hear about what's been going on? Hm?"

Rei's fingers touched the bottom of a plastic box. _The nurse call button,_ she thought. It had to be. Rei's fingers frantically tried to reach the button on the box. "I've taken your place. Both in school and in your Eva. Just until you got better. That's why I had to check your head," Ariel glanced at the red mark on the older girl's head.

"Anyway," Ariel paused as she heard the sound of something hitting the ground. She looked down to see the nurse-call box lying face-up on the ground. She picked it up and Rei silently cursed herself for dropping it. "What's this? Are you trying to make me leave?"

Rei expected a conflict, but just the opposite happened. She got what she wanted. "I understand," said Ariel. "You must be tired. I found out what I came here to, so I'll let you sleep,"

Ariel stood up and turned to leave. When she heard the door close, she wanted to sigh with relief. Too bad that damn breathing tube prevented that.

* * *

"Stay focused, everyone," Misato said calmly. This was another Synch-Ratio test. The second Ariel had had, and her score had skyrocketed. The test concluded shortly, and the three Eva pilots were in the locker room. Ariel left shortly after they arrived. Shinji grabbed his bag from the locker.

He walked over towards the door and pulled it open. "Idiot!" yelled Asuka. "Wait up!" Shinji sighed and stopped walking. "Did you just _sigh_?" demanded Asuka who was suddenly standing next to him.

"W-what?" stammered Shinji. Asuka gave him a furious look.

"Oh my God!" she shouted. "You did! You're annoyed that you had to wait for me!"

"I…no!" Shinji hadn't sighed for that reason, but Asuka just kept pressing the issue.

"So now I'm just an annoyance to you!" Asuka huffed. "And here I-_oof_!" Asuka was cut off as the doors to the locker room swung open and someone practically tackled her into a locker. The door was opened with such force that when it hit Shinji in the nose and forehead he was dazed for a while.

"Hello again," purred Ariel, pinning Asuka against the lockers.

"What the hell are you doing!" shrieked Asuka. In response, Ariel's grip around her wrists tightened.

"I liked it inside your head," said Ariel with a grin. "It was full of confusion, tragedy, and your own mental incompetence. I don't know why you aren't in a state of mental collapse yet. As it was I didn't know what was holding you together,"

"What are you talking about!" yelled Asuka. Then Ariel's voice dropped down to a whisper.

"Are you still not going to cry, Asuka?" Then her voice warped. It was a disturbing mix of a deep sounding voice and hers. "It's okay to _cry_," Asuka's eyes widened in fear.

"It's…you!" she stammered.

"Ariel of the Birds," Ariel announced her full title proudly. "Everything was fine when you were in my light. Then that…_bitch_ used that God forsaken spear!" Then Ariel calmed down and smiled. "Then again, these memories aren't really mine, are they? Still, I am Ariel."

"Let me go!" screamed Asuka.

"No," Ariel responded flatly. "Not yet. Let me inside your head again. I liked it,"

"No!" Asuka screamed. She held the 'o' in 'no' as long as her vocal cords would let her as an intensely hot hand clasped around her forehead. Then, all of a sudden, the pain was gone. Asuka opened her eyes to see Ariel had been knocked to the ground. Shinji supported Asuka with one hand while holding a profusely bleeding nose shut with the other.

"Shinji?" asked Asuka. Shinji just glared at Ariel.

"Shin-Kun?" Ariel questioned staring at him. "What did I say about interrupting me?" Ariel stood up from the ground and started advancing toward them. Shinji backed up a step.

_It's time_,

The voice flashed through her head. Ariel stopped advancing toward them. "Is it already?" She ignored Asuka and Shinji's confused glances and she ran by them. She ran down the hallway that was connecting to the locker room.

* * *

Ariel ran out into the cloudy streets of Tokyo-3. She ran to the direct center of the city before closing her eyes and smiling. She stretched out her arms as if trying to embrace the sky and then jumped.

Her feet didn't touch the ground again. Instead of obeying physics, the girl went up into the sky. One leg was bent and the knee was sticking out in front of her. Slowly the clouds parted and a bright light fell down on her.

"Let's get it started!" she cried.

* * *

"What the hell is going on?" yelled Misato. Most of the screens in Central Dogma had become covered with static. A faded message appeared in the screens. In a few seconds it focused and they all read the message written on dark green letters.

_Ye be in God's Garden, where all that is in the name of truth is spoken by the Angels,_

"Is this some kind of reference?" asked a frantic Maya Ibuki. "I've never heard of it before,"

"Me either," grunted one of her co-workers, typing desperately on the computer pad in front of him. "I don't think it is, but I can't override the system that's taken over! I can't get the system back!"

"I got something," said Ibuki. "This thing had the same blood pattern as that creature we had to dispatch the Eva's for last week!"

"I've got visual!" said another. The main screen that could be used to monitor Tokyo-3 if the user desired showcased a blond teenager with her arms outstretched. Her hands seemed to be reaching for something, and light was coming down from the otherwise cloudy sky around her.

"Any clues what it is?" asked one of the three on the computers.

"It's…it's Ariel!" Misato managed to say. Then she reiterated her earlier statement. "What the _hell_ is going on?" Shortly after she spoke, there was a loud explosion. Another check on the main screen showed a rather large hole in the pavement above the dome.

"She's trying to break into the geo-front!" said Maya stupidly. "What should we do?" Misato looked sternly at the screen as if trying to decide. Then she spoke.

"Dispatch the Eva's,"

* * *

Shortly after changing, Shinji found himself changing back into the plug-suit and in an even shorter time span found himself in unit-01. His nose had stopped bleeding a little earlier. Now there was just dried blood around the edges. "Are you two ready?" asked Misato's voice through the communication device on the Eva.

Shinji and Asuka nodded. "Good," Misato said. She stopped talking to them and Shinji braced for the sudden launch that he knew was approaching. After a few tense seconds he was sent rocketing upwards. He reached the city first, and then a few seconds later, Asuka showed up on the other side.

Shinji stared in awe at the being that had summoned the light. She looked just like she had before, only there was a strange grace and majestic beauty as she floated in the ominous light. Shinji moved the Eva to pick up the weapon that had appeared next to him. He aimed the automatic rifle at his opponent and started to fire.

Ariel stood completely still until Shinji was sure that she had been hit. Then he saw her standing next to the rain of bullets. She started to run on the air in a straight line towards Shinji. Shinji tried to raise the weapon, But Ariel was already standing in front of the Eva's head.

"Hello, Shin-Kun," she said in that same strange and dark voice she had used in the locker room. She did a back-flip in the air and held a leg out to kick the unit with as much force as that flip could muster. Shinji never would've imagined that a _kick_ from something her size would send the unit flying through the air for a few yards before crashing into a few buildings.

"Damn you," Asuka growled in her unit. "I'll kill you. You God damned thing I'll kill you!" she screamed out the last few words as she started to charge at Ariel.

* * *

"Asuka! What are you doing!" Misato yelled. Behind her, Gendo let out a low chuckle. Misato turned around. "Sir?"

"It's nothing," Gendo said. "Handle the situation, I'll be back," Gendo left the room without another word. The trip to Terminal Dogma seemed to fly by. He stepped out of the elevator on the appropriate floor and slid a key card through the reader to the left of a sealed door.

The door flew open and Gendo walked up to the Giant before him. He stared for a short while before he heard a smooth voice to his left. "So you got my memo," Gendo turned to see Ritsuko Akagi standing in front of a large pool of LCL. The black floor held an orange glow from the liquid behind her.

Ritsuko was holding a handgun and had it aimed directly at Gendo. In her other hand was a small box with a switch on it. "This is where it ends, Gendo," she said. "This is where I make Mother proud. This switch will cut off the power to the entire geo-front, including the hospital where you placed your precious 'wonder-girl'." Ritsuko had taken the term from Asuka, she knew that.

"Rei is on life support. If I cut the power, I cut her life," Ritsuko said with a strange calm. "The power being cut will also give each Eva only five minutes to fight her. Do you honestly think that they can do it?"

Gendo said nothing and just stared at her with an expressionless gaze. "Because I don't. I should know. I made her myself. It was simple really. It wasn't too different from when I had to make the Third. She is nearly a rather formidable opponent,"

Gendo still didn't speak as Ritsuko continued her monologue. "Think about your situation. I'm about to kill that girl that's so God damn precious to you and your son. There's no one left for you!" Ritsuko started to get hysterical. "You will finally understand what you did to Mother. What you did to me! It all ends here!" Ritsuko pushed the round button on the box.

Nothing happened.

"What?" Ritsuko whispered to herself and looked down at the box in her hands. She pushed the button again. The light in the top left went on which meant that the remote was working properly, and the light below that one blinked, meaning the MAGI were receiving her command.

"Why won't it work!" cried Ritsuko. Everything was installed correctly and working right, so why? Why wouldn't it work? Unless…

* * *

Asuka continued to charge toward Ariel. She would kill this girl. No, not kill. She would _destroy_ her. This was the thing that had made her remember all of those things, and started so many other problems. Of course Asuka held a vendetta towards it. Asuka ran with vengeance clouding her thoughts. She swung wildly at the girl, but succeeded only in batting air.

Ariel grinned and pushed Asuka with one hand. The Eva stumbled backward a few feet. "How about you let me back into that mind of yours?" Asuka's eyes widened and she screamed as the light from the clouds moved over her Eva. It was going to happen again.

"No," she whispered at first. And then she started to go back to the memories. "Not again!" she screamed as loud as she could and slammed her eyes shut. The memory just started to become clear when it faded again. Asuka slowly opened her eyes. The light was gone. Asuka looked over at Ariel and saw a prog-knife sticking through her abdomen.

Shinji had gotten up and charged at Ariel when her back was turned to face Asuka. Ariel looked down to stare at the knife for a while. She had messed up. How did she make that mistake? How could she overlook that? How could she forget about Shinji? Her lust to be back in Asuka's memories made her keep her back to Shinji for longer then she should've.

Ariel slid off the prog-knife and drifted slowly back to the center of the light. Her body seemed to break apart and fade away as she went. Nothing but the front of her face was left when she reached the light. Her eyes closed in acceptance and they too broke away into the shining pieces that were all that was left of Ariel.

The clouds moved back to cover the sky where they had been parted for Ariel's light, which was now gone.

* * *

"Mother," Ritsuko looked down at the controller as she realized what the reason it wouldn't work was. "Mother…why?" She asked. Her eyes started to water. "Why would you choose his side over mine?"

Gendo walked slowly up to her. When he was standing mere inches from her, she stared into his cold, calculating eyes. She felt the weight of the gun slide from her hand and the felt the muzzle against her stomach. She heard the gunshot more then felt it.

Ritsuko fell backwards into the pool of LCL behind her. Before she left, before she fell face first into the pool of liquid that would soon leave nothing of her but her cloths, Ritsuko uttered her last word. "Mother,"

* * *

Okay! That took forever to update but it's done! Thanks for reading if you did, and I know that Ritsuko died similarly in the movie (almost exactly the same) but I liked it. Let me know what you thought. Please review! 


	6. Memory of Her Love for You

Okay! New chapter! New story arc (not really)! And about the Arael/Ariel thing, I found both of the spellings and I knew I was going to pick the wrong one. Sorry about that. I've been on vacation the past week with no access to a computer, and although I meant to get this up before hand, things didn't work out.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone who's been reading and stuck by the story through these long updates. Extra thanks to reviewers. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva.

* * *

"You will finally understand what you did to Mother. What you did to me! It all ends here!" Ritsuko was hysterical. How she'd waited for this moment. With a grin that might have been considered psychotic, she pressed the button down on the box she was holding.

Asuka screamed as the clouds parted. The light shone down on her Eva just like it had done before. Her head started to swim with memories that she had successfully locked away once again. Her time in the light was brief, but it did its job. Asuka trembled slightly in the entry-plug as Shinji finished off Arael.

Gendo approached Ritsuko silently. He removed the gun from her hand as he held her close. The trigger was pulled, and Ritsuko was only half-aware that it was currently tearing through her. As the bullet continued its path through her and out her back, Ritsuko began to cry. Not because of the pain, or because she knew she was going to die. She cried because she had been betrayed. Betrayed for the man and child she wished death for. Her fall backwards seemed to be in slow motion to her. Just before submerging into the LCL, she uttered her last word.

"Mother,"

* * *

Episode 6: Memory of Her Love for You

* * *

"Asuka?" Shinji tried to communicate with the girl in the Eva standing in front of him. "Asuka? We can go back now," Still, the red Evangelion Unit stayed completely still. The battle had ended five minutes ago, and still Asuka refused to move. "Asuka, you're scaring me," he said quietly. "Come on, please move,"

He might as well not have said anything. The Eva remained motionless, as did Asuka. The second child stared absently above her. Her gaze was fixed on the sky above her. Shinji's voice crackled through the communicator in the entry-plug again. This time Asuka shook her head and answered.

"Yeah, I'm alright," she said uncharacteristically. "Let's just go back,"

* * *

Misato walked down the hall leading back to Central Dogma. The cup in her hands was doing a rather poor job of keeping the heat from the coffee in it contained. She switched the cup over to her left hand without missing a step in her pace. She did trip, however, when the power surged.

The lights dimmed for a second and went completely out for a while before going back on. Misato groaned in aggravation when she saw how much coffee had fallen onto her uniform. Then a more important thought ran through her head. Why did the power surge in here? That shouldn't be possible.

Misato stood up with the half-empty cup. The lights dimmed again. "What the hell is going on?" she whispered to herself. Misato walked faster back to Central Dogma. The doors slid open and she looked at the three operating the computers.

"What's going on?" she demanded. One turned to look at her.

"We're trying to find out," he said before rotating in the chair to face the screen again. There were a few seconds with only the sound of computer keys being pressed before Maya Ibuki groaned.

"This would be a lot easier if Ritsuko was here, or at the very least the commander!" Ibuki growled. Misato turned towards where Gendo normally sat and saw only the stern face of Fuyutsuki.

"He's not back yet?" Misato said more to herself then to the others. She tried to think on that a little longer, but her mind immediately went somewhere else when the power went out.

* * *

Shinji was just walking into the locker room when Asuka was leaving. Shinji stopped for a second and turned to her. "Hey…Asuka? Do you want to walk back together?" Asuka stopped for a second. Without turning to look at him, she answered.

"No," There was a dismissive tone in her one-word answer. She started to walk away again without seeing if Shinji would respond. The pilot of unit-01 watched the red-head walk away. He moved into the locker room to change with a sigh.

Shinji had just finished changing when the power went out. He stood in the dark room holding his school bag for a while wondering what he should do. After about three minutes of him thinking, the power came back on. "What's happening?" Shinji asked no one, and then decided to go to Central Dogma. Maybe Misato could tell him what was going on.

Shinji left the locker room and turned for the elevator. He was about to push the button to call it down when he realized the power could go out again. The last thing he wanted right now was to be trapped in an elevator. Shinji turned down another hall and started to head towards Central Dogma.

* * *

Asuka was wearing the same simple yellow dress she did on the day she met Shinji. She was walking down the hall with both hands in front of her holding her school bag. All she wanted to do was leave this place and go home. She was feeling so damn tired all of a sudden.

No. It wasn't sudden.

That gate had been opened again. The one she'd worked so hard to seal. The gate that kept her memories hidden. This wasn't fair. That stupid instrumen-whatever had made her realize all she needed to be fine. Her mother was always with her, so what did it matter? Why did it bother her so much that her past had been held up to her again?

She'd made it to the exit when the lights went out. She stood in front of them silently for about three minutes before the power came back. Asuka pulled out her ID and flashed it in front of the scanner. Nothing happened. She waved it in front of the reader a few more times before giving up.

_So all of the circuits haven't been restored yet,_ she thought. She turned around so her back was up against the door and leaned against it. After a minute or two she slid down to the floor. She hugged her knees and tried to think about something, _anything_ besides the rising memories inside of her.

* * *

Misato watched as they struggled to find the cause of the random power outages. No one was making any progress. They searched within every computer system and yet not a single problem was found. She sighed aloud. _Damn it, Ikari, where are you?_ She thought. _Better yet, where's Ritsuko? She acts weird all week and then just decides not to show up for work?_

The doors behind her slid open and her hopes raised a little. "Oh Shinji, it's just you," She tried to sound nonchalant about it but the disappointment might have seemed a little obvious. She was really hoping for Ritsuko. Shinji was apparently oblivious to it.

"Misato, what's going on?" he asked.

"We don't exactly know yet. Any luck yet?" she asked. Maya surprised her with her answer.

"Not exactly," Ibuki commented. "But I have an idea…" Her finger's slid across the keyboard and several different text documents flashed by her screen. "Ritsuko once talked about a mainframe containing the original operating systems of NERV. If I pulled that up…and cross referenced it with the systems running _now_…" After a few more seconds of typing and some sounds of Ibuki dismissing certain programs as the culprit, she finally exclaimed in joy.

"What'd you find?" asked Misato.

"There's a programming running almost flawlessly in synch with the MAGI. It seems to control their operating systems on just one level, the power,"

"Can you shut it down?"

"Not from here, but if I could run a trace and find the original terminal…" Her face lit up in triumph. "The computer running the system is on the same level as Terminal Dogma."

"Good work. I want you to come with me to the system and see if you can shut it down from there," Misato remarked as she turned to leave. Maya stood and blushed.

"Y-yes ma'am!" She followed Misato out of the door. After a few seconds Shinji turned and followed.

* * *

"Aaaaaasukaaaaa…"

A voice was calling out to her. Asuka looked up down the long unlit hallway. The power must had gone out again. A few emergency lights flickered here and there, casting a strange orange glow. The voice called out again.

"Where could my Asuka have gone?"

Asuka stood up and started walking down the hall. The voice sounded so familiar. When it called her name again in a long moan, she was sure. It was the voice of her mother. Asuka broke into a light sweat as she started to jog. It confused her how she could be sweating. The halls were freezing. She could practically see her own breath.

At long last she came upon a door. Without missing a step, she ran into the door, turning the handle as she did to push it open. She froze in place when she saw where she was.

Her mother was sitting in a hospital bed. She looked over to Asuka, no, directly at her, and smiled politely. "Hello young lady," she said quietly. "Have you seen my daughter? My beautiful little Asuka?" Asuka's pupils shrank. "She mustn't be late for her piano practice. It'd much too upsetting if she couldn't be at her very best."

Asuka felt despair rising in the bottom of her stomach.

"My perfect…"

Asuka's mouth went dry.

"…little…girl," said her mother as she picked up a small doll and started to hug it.

"NO!" Asuka screamed and slapped the rag doll out of her mother's hands. "I hate it…" She said, more composed. Asuka stepped towards the doll which was laying haphazardly in the corner of the room. "I…hate…" She picked up the doll. Her face contorted violently into one expressing rage and she squeezed the doll as hard as she could.

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed at the doll. Suddenly she felt a warm liquid flowing onto her hands. She moved one hand away and saw blood. The doll was bleeding onto her hands.

"It's your fault,"

Asuka looked up and suddenly saw she was in her old house. She turned around to find the source of the voice and screamed in horror. Her mother was hanging by her neck from the ceiling. Her swaying body had been the thing that spoke.

"This is your fault," The body spoke hatefully towards Asuka. "If you hadn't been such a failure…such a disappointment…a disappointment to everyone…I wouldn't have done this. Asuka suddenly found herself surrounded by thousands of voices saying things to her.

"It's your fault"

"Disappointment"

"You killed your mother"

"It makes me sick"

"Disappointment"

"No one loves you"

"No one needs you"

"You're such a disappointment"

"You can't do anything."

"You believe that you are the best at piloting them,"

"You make me sick"

"…but out of the three of us, you would probably be the worst,"

"I can't _stand _you"

"I hate you"

"I hate you"

"I hate you"

"I hate you, you disappointment"

"No one loves you"

"Shut up!" screamed Asuka. She dropped to her knees and brought her hands up to her head. Finally there was absolute silence. There was no sound at all. Asuka brought her hand down and looked at the doll. Suddenly, it opened its mouth to speak.

"You'll die alone,"

* * *

Maya Ibuki opened the door to the room the computer was supposed to be in. Directly in front of the group of three was a tube as tall as a human containing LCL. It was attached to a large system which linked to the computer. "Fascinating," commented Maya as she walked over to the terminal. She was already at work by the time Shinji got into the room.

"It's all here," Maya muttered.

"What is?" asked Misato.

"Transfer files, forged ID cards, the Eva transfer list…It's all for that thing we just killed,"

"Are you telling me all of that was planned?" asked Misato in shock.

"Surprisingly…yes…" Maya was already hard at work at something else on the computer. "If I were to run this here…" Shinji jumped a little as the LCL started to bubble violently. Maya quickly shut down the program. Inside the tube, a small portion of LCL had solidified into a colorless blob that twitched and stretched violently.

"That's the thing we battled in the Eva's a few days back," Shinji commented. Maya looked at it for a little while.

"With a blood pattern similar to angels and so very different from humans…to adapt a human form…"

"Mind explaining what's going on?" asked Misato.

"I don't know exactly. But if you give me just a second I'll be able to tell you exactly what's happened,"

* * *

Asuka lifted her head up suddenly. She had fallen asleep. That had all been a dream. No. Not a dream. A nightmare. Asuka brought her hands up to her face in horror. She shook for a few seconds before slamming her eyes shut and covering her face with her hands. A single tear slid down her cheek.

There was a buzzing sound as the ID card readers reactivated. Asuka sniffed and wiped her right eye dry. She unlocked the door with her ID and walked out. She walked in silence down an abandoned street as the sun set over the bay.

* * *

"…this…this is all…" Maya was in complete shock.

"What is it?" asked Misato.

"This is all Ritsuko's work…This has her style in the programming…I'd recognize it anywhere. It's as good as a signature…" Maya said sullenly.

"Ritsuko did all of this?!" exclaimed Misato. Maya nodded.

"This computer had a program directly linked to the MAGI that was designed to black out all of NERV, but for some reason, the initial application failed. These power surges we were experiencing were an unintentional after affect. I've shut it down so we won't be having anymore power outages. But this other program…" Maya glanced at the tube full of LCL.

"This tube and the system it's linked to was used to create a host body for a system of DNA patterns the MAGI had saved from analyzing the Angels," Ibuki explained.

"So what you're saying is…?" Misato asked.

"This machine…is more or less a way to recreate the Angels,"

Shinji's eyes widened in shock as he stared at the tube. All he could think about was a single name. A name that belonged to an angel.

"Kaworu…"

* * *

There it is! Chapter 6 of my Eva fic! I'm severely disappointed in myself for taking nearly a year to update. I've probably lost all the original readers… (sad face). But hopefully this will still attract some readers. If any original readers are out there, please give a shout out! It'd mean a lot to know you still care about the story.

As always, all reviews are welcome! Thank you for reading and I'll see you soon! (I mean it this time, I really do!!)


	7. Lunch on the Roof

Ha! I actually updated in a reasonable amount of time! (Sort of!) I plan to make a habit out of updating quickly…

Thank you readers! Original readers returned and took the time to read this again even after the long gap. I'm incredibly grateful. And I thank the new readers who are now reading.

New chapter, new summary, and happiness! Yes, the angst takes a break for a little while. The next few chapters are going to be centered on Shinji and Asuka's school life. Rei isn't going to be seen for a while. No, this isn't because I don't like her. She's actually one of my favorite characters. It's just the way the story is developing, she's going to be missing in action for a short while. But she'll return eventually.

That's pretty much it, so thanks again for sticking with this, and enjoy chapter 7!

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva.

* * *

Asuka yawned and sat up in bed. Her mind immediately went to the dream she'd just awoken from.

_Her mother sat in the hospital bed. She clutched the doll in silence. After a few moments she turned to Asuka and spoke._

_"No one loves you."

* * *

_

Episode 7: Lunch on the Roof

* * *

Asuka shook her head to bring herself back to reality. It was just a stupid dream.

What did it matter to her? She got up and walked to the bathroom. It didn't look like anyone else was up yet. "Great," she said to herself. "No fight for the shower."

She bathed, changed into her school uniform, and was in the middle of making herself breakfast when Shinji came out of his room. "Geez you sleep late…" Asuka commented as she poured herself a glass of juice. She drank half of it before realizing Shinji was just staring at her with a puzzled look. "What's your deal?"

"Huh?"

"Right…" she muttered as he snapped out of whatever he was thinking about. "By the way, if you're planning on doing anything short of running after me," Asuka added as she placed her glass in the sink and grabbed her school bag. "Then you're going to be late for school,"

She closed the front door of the apartment and heard Shinji shout "It's that late already!?" She laughed to herself a little. She stretched as she walked down the street towards the school. Today just gave her feeling that everything was going to be alright.

* * *

Shinji slid open the door to the classroom. The teacher stopped talking and turned to him. "Thank you for joining us, Ikari. Take your seat," Shinji nodded and took his place behind Asuka and in front of Toji. "We were just discussing the class activity,"

"Activity?" asked Shinji. Hikari was already addressing the class from the front of the room.

"To raise spirits of the student body we're going to hold a small festival in a few weeks," Hikari said. She continued for a while describing the details but Shinji had been jabbed in the back. He turned around and saw Toji staring at him.

The bell rang for lunch a few minutes later and Toji stopped him in the hall. "About…what happened," Shinji's involuntarily thought about how Toji had lost his leg. "I…I don't really think it was your fault man…"

Shinji stared blankly for a few seconds. Toji shifted his weight to his other leg. "I don't know what made me so sure it was your fault… I'm not even exactly sure what happened but…I know you wouldn't do that to someone," Toji turned to Hikari who had just walked out of the class.

"You two joining us for lunch?" she asked. Shinji could have guessed Toji's answer before he smiled and nodded. "You come too, 'kay?" Both of them turned towards the stairwell. Shinji stood in the hall staring at where they were for a few seconds, thinking about the last thing Toji had said.

* * *

Asuka looked to her left as the door to the roof opened. Toji and Hikari came up shortly followed by Kensuke. They formed something of a circle. Hikari placed a small lunchbox in front of Toji and opened her own. Kensuke laughed a little.

"I remember when you used to be ashamed of admitting she packed your lunches for you," he said, snickering. "He used to make such a huge scene out of it and acted like no one knew!"

"Shut up," retorted Toji in a growl, but the effect of what Kensuke said did its job. Asuka and Hikari laughed a little. Hikari split her chopsticks and was about to eat something when she noticed Asuka didn't have anything in front of her.

"I'm sorry!" she cried, dropping her chopsticks in her lunch and setting it down.

"Hm?" Asuka replied.

"You don't have any lunch and I was about to start eating…" she said, looking slightly ashamed.

"Oh! Don't worry about that," Asuka commented calmly. "I just have to wait for Shinji to get here,"

"Oh? Is he bringing your lunch?" asked Hikari.

"Sort of…" Asuka muttered. As if waiting for his cue, Shinji opened the door to the roof. "'Bout time!" yelled Asuka to be sure he heard her. "Now go buy us some lunch!"

"Me?!" exclaimed Shinji.

"Yeah, you! You've been making this young high school student wait without any food at all!" Asuka said, feigning being weak. "Is that any way to treat me?" Shinji sighed. He knew he wasn't winning this one. He turned around and went back down the steps. "And hurry up!"

Asuka looked over to Hikari. "You can eat if you want,"

"Are you sure?" asked Hikari. Asuka nodded and smiled.

"I have a feeling he'll be back in ten minutes, completely out of breath from running."

Sure enough, Shinji was back with two lunches and panting, just like Asuka predicted. "Took long enough!" Asuka shouted, even though he was back sooner then she'd predicted.

"Here," he said, handing her a can and a lunch. She took them and he took his place in the circle.

"Great! We're all here!" said Hikari. "Except…well…"

"What is it?" asked Toji through a mouthful of rice.

"I was going to invite Rei, but she wasn't here. Come to think of it," started Hikari. "She hasn't been here in a while, has she?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it," Kensuke said.

"Who cares?" growled Asuka. "It's not like Ms. High and Mighty would _lower_ herself to have lunch with us anyway,"

"Isn't that kind of mean?" asked Shinji. "She might've wanted to." Asuka's face flared and she turned to Shinji.

"What did you just say?!" she said. "Just for that," Asuka snatched Shinji's juice box.

"Hey!" he said when he saw her drinking it.

"What?" asked Asuka. "You owe me this," Kensuke laughed, and Toji joined in. Hikari glanced over to the city. Construction crews were in the middle of repairing some of the damages the Angels had dealt.

"They've been at it for a while," commented Toji after following her gaze.

"They're probably trying to make the city at least resemble what it once was," added Kensuke.

"You think it's really worth it?" asked Hikari.

"People have been hearing the city's safe again," said Toji. "They're bound to start coming back,"

"Maybe the school will stop looking so empty," said Kensuke.

"That's what the festival is for!" exclaimed Hikari. "If people see we're holding something like that it'd raise spirits!"

"About that," asked Shinji. "When is it?"

"Geez, don't you pay attention?" Asuka sneered. "It'll be a few weeks to prepare, but they're planning on two weeks from now."

"It's gonna be great!" exclaimed Kensuke.

"You don't even know what the theme is or anything…" commented Shinji.

"We need a vote or something, actually…" muttered Hikari sheepishly. The conversation continued for a while and each finished their lunch. It seemed like it's only been a few minutes when the bell to return to class finally rang.

* * *

Shinji opened the door to the room where they'd found Ritsuko's computer. After school he'd told Asuka he had to run to the store for a few things for Misato. She seemed to buy it, or at least didn't care. Either way, he should've been able to at least look at the program.

Beyond the Eva's, Shinji didn't really know a large amount about computers, and having seen Ritsuko's programming before, what he was thinking about may well be insane. Still, he had to see what he could understand.

_"This tube and the system it's linked to was used to create a host body for a system of DNA patterns the MAGI had saved from analyzing the Angels,"_

He needed what the computer had stored on the last angel. He'd need information. Shinji typed a few commands and was disappointed to find he had practically no clue what he was doing. He clicked around a few times trying to get some kind of understanding.

He eventually found himself inside some system. There were charts and graphs that frequently showed two different lines. They were practically the same. His eyes glanced across the word 'Angel'. This was it. These were the charts he needed. Now if he could just find a specific one.

He scrolled through the page and clicked on links to other sections of the database. He was blindly running through the system, trying to find something with no clue where it might actually be. He clicked several times in a row and he found a file labeled 'NAGISA'.

Shinji's eyes widened in anticipation. This was one of the ones he was looking for. Things he needed were contained within it, he was sure. He moved the mouse toward it, but before he could open the document, the screen turned black.

"What?" he asked himself. He checked a few wires and made sure everything was still on. Shinji eventually looked back up and saw a message writing itself on the screen. After that string of words appeared, the computer shut itself down.

_Why would you choose to run, when you're cause is found here? There's nothing left for you to love outside of His domain. The life you are given holds all meaning in this place. All that is forever is held here within these walls. Ye be in God's Garden, where all that is in the name of truth is spoken by Angels.

* * *

_

"Asuka, could run to the store for me?" asked Misato as she brought pile after pile of paper into her room. "I've got a lot of work to do and we need something for dinner…"

"Didn't you send Shinji to get it?" asked Asuka. Misato stopped walking and turned to her.

"No, why would you say that?" asked Misato. Asuka shook her head and set a half-empty can of soda down on the counter.

"No reason," She slid on her shoes and left through the door Misato had walked in just a little while ago. Asuka walked down the street without really thinking about anything. She just made her way to the store with the hastily scribbled note Misato had given her.

She opened the door to the store and walked down a few isles. She pulled out the note and grabbed the instant noodle bowls she assumed it was referring to. In just a few minutes she was back on the sidewalk. A gentle breeze blew to her left, and she decided to walk by the cliff that overlooked the city. It wasn't too far away, and she just felt like going there for some reason.

Asuka got close to the cliff and saw someone leaning on the guardrail. They were staring at the distant city. As she got closer, she identified that person as Shinji. He looked at her for a second and stood up. "What are you doing here?" asked Shinji.

"I should be asking _you_ that," Asuka returned. Shinji smiled at her comment. He resumed leaning on the guardrail. Asuka set down the bag she was carrying and leaned on the guardrail just to his right. For a few seconds, they both just sat their, watching the sun sink behind the city. Finally, Shinji spoke.

"Asuka?" he started. She didn't respond, but he still continued. "I really…liked having lunch today…" He was obviously struggling to say what he was. His face had turned a little red.

"Yeah?" Asuka said. Shinji turned his head to look at her. She just kept staring out over the city. "I…I did too," She smiled nervously, all the while never taking her gaze away from the city.

"We should try it again sometime," Shinji said.

"Yeah…" Asuka replied. Shinji breathed in deeply as he prepared himself to speak.

"Did you…want to…" His nerves were definitely getting the better of him. Finally, he cleared his throat and looked over to her. "Do you want to go to the School Festival with me?"

Asuka finally turned her head. She was smiling. The golden rays of the sun as it started to fade away lit up her hair and made it shine. "I'd like that…" she said. Both of them just stood for a few more minutes. The sunset cast a warm glow on them before finally slipping away and letting night take over.

Asuka suddenly seemed like she remembered something. "Idiot…" she teased. "You made us late!"

"Me? What'd I do?" Shinji responded. "You're the one who knew we had to get back."

"Since when did you…" she started. "Start defending yourself?" They both laughed a little and recalled the morning so long ago. Shinji quieted and spoke something softly just before the two of them left together, walking away from the last gleams of sunlight.

"Let's go home,"

* * *

Well, there it is. Chapter 7 officially over. I can't believe it took me this long to write what is officially the shortest chapter in the story…

I plan to have 8 up within a week. Maybe this time I can meet the deadlines I set for myself? Oh well. The important thing is I've started this again, and it's not going anywhere for a little while.

For fans of the darker more angst filled parts that have been in this story a lot lately, they'll be back eventually, but at this point Shinji and Asuka's relationship is important to try and convey. It's kind of difficult considering they both seem so out of character when they say those kinds of things…hopefully I've built them up for it enough…

But either way, please review! I always appreciate it and it let's me know there are still people with this thing, even with the way the story is going. I know this chapter seems almost entirely unrelated to the last, but give it time! About three more chapters for this part, and I hope you'll be here for chapter 8.

Thanks for reading, and please review!


	8. And We Could be

Welcome to chapter 8 of my Eva fic. This is the last "upbeat" chapter of the story arc (and even then it doesn't end happy…but maybe that's just the way the story is). Thanks to everyone who reviewed and who is reading. Uh…not much else to say, so enjoy!

* * *

_"Is this all just a game to you?"_

_Asuka turned to look at the speaker. Her stepmother was towering over her, looking down at her with scorn. The woman's nose wrinkled in anger._

_"Is this just something to laugh at?! I'm trying to connect with you and you just keep giving me the cold shoulder!" The woman's grip tightened on Asuka's arm. Asuka winced in pain. "Do you know how that feels? I married your father so the least you could do is try! Try, at least, to let me be your mother!" Then the woman's shadowed face twisted into a cruel smile. _

* * *

Episode 8: And We Could Be…

* * *

The hot water felt wonderful. After another dream like that she felt she deserved some kind of relaxation. She ran her fingers through her long hair, rinsing out the shampoo. The red head finished rinsing off and shut off the water. 

Seconds later Asuka was wiping water vapor off the mirror. She stared at her reflection for a while. It was impossible to make sense out of any of the thoughts running through her mind. Eventually she sighed, gave up, and walked back to her room to change.

It was the weekend, so she didn't have to dress for school; still, she threw on the school's required uniform. Asuka walked out to the kitchen and sat down with a glass of juice. Shinji emerged from his room already dressed. He stood still for a short while before Asuka finally set her glass down.

"I'm bored," she started. "How about we go somewhere?" Asuka made it sound like more of a statement. Asuka expected Shinji to agree and suggest someplace they could hangout. Shinji didn't do as Asuka expected.

"Sorry, I have plans…" Asuka stared in complete shock. _With who_? She thought. She collected herself in a matter of seconds.

"It doesn't matter. I'm going to the arcade with Hikari anyway," Asuka lied.

"Great then!" Shinji said, oblivious to her lies. "So I'll see you later tonight? Bye Asuka!" He left before she could say another word. Asuka's true feelings of being let down flashed across her face for about half a second. In a second she was scowling and walking back to her room.

"Idiot," she muttered.

* * *

Rei Ayanami pulled up her other sock and stood up. One of her arms was still in a sling and two fingers of her left hand were taped together to support the broken one. Bandages were wrapped tightly around one thigh to keep pressure on the several stitches she had received. Even with all of her injuries, her condition had improved drastically over the past couple of weeks. 

She had decided herself that it was time for her to check out. Rei gathered her few present belongings and walked out of the room. The sound of her heels hitting the smooth floor of the hospital was the only noise.

The sun was high in the sky. It was around noon and it was another hot day. Rei's smooth skin began to perspire from the heat. A few more blocks of walking and she had made it to her apartment. She sat down on her bed and sat in silence. For now, she would stay in Tokyo-3. For now, she would just wait.

* * *

Deciding she had absolutely nothing better to do, Asuka gave Hikari Horaki a call. She had nothing planned for the day and agreed to meet up with her in half an hour. Asuka hung up the phone and slid a pair of sandals on. She left Misato's apartment and started walking towards the shopping strip of Tokyo-3. 

When she got there she saw Hikari standing in front of the crane machine, trying to win a stuffed cat doll. Asuka watched the metal claw grab the cat loosely by the arm. The cable started to retract, lifting the cat a few inches and giving Hikari false optimism. Hikari's face dropped with the cat.

"Shoot," she muttered. Asuka laughed a little. Hikari jumped when she realized the red head had showed. "You startled me!"

"So what do you want to do?" Asuka asked. Hikari thought for a minute before smiling.

"How about we grab something to eat?" she suggested. Asuka nodded and they set out for a place for food. Once they'd both sat down with their orders they started a conversation.

"Are you going to the festival?" Asuka asked after swallowing a bite of her burger. Hikari nodded.

"Toji and I are…" she sort of faded out at the end and blushed. Asuka leaned forward.

"You two are going together?" Asuka pried. Hikari slowly nodded. She managed to fight down her embarrassment and began speaking again.

"Yes…he asked me after we left lunch yesterday," She smiled and tilted her head a little. "It's kind of nice," Asuka smiled a little and took another bite of her lunch. "So what about you and Shinji?" Asuka nearly choked.

"W-what?!" she exclaimed after painfully swallowing the food.

"Oh! I thought you two would…Sorry." Hikari looked down. Asuka had a few sips of soda before speaking.

"Actually…we kind of…_are_ going to the festival," Asuka laughed a little. Why was she so embarrassed over this?

"That's great!" Hikari clapped her hands together. "You two seemed like you'd make a good couple," Asuka started to think about something. It bothered her and it must've showed on her face for Hikari asked her about it. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…but…" she stopped her sentence. She shook her head and smiled. "Never mind! So where to after this?" She kept back the thought that had been bothering her for quite a while. He always said he was busy. First he says he likes her, and then he starts disappearing? Something was weird. Sure she did, as much as she didn't like to admit it, like the fact she was going to the festival with him, but…

* * *

Shinji had gotten farther then any of his previous attempts. He was actually starting to understand the computer program. He put together almost every part of the program code he'd thought would run the machine. All he needed was Kaworu's information that the MAGI had analyzed and stored. He clicked on the folder labeled as Kaworu's. The screen flickered for a quick second, and then- 

_Why would you choose-_

"Damn it!" Shinji yelled and slammed a fist down on the keyboard. He was so close this time. He was nearly there when that message appeared again. Every time he started to get somewhere that quote just stopped him. How was it right that this kept happening? It wasn't. It wasn't right for the program to keep doing this to him. "It's not fair!" he yelled.

Shinji dropped his forehead down on the desk. His line of vision slowly picked up on a blue book protruding from one of the draws. Curious, he removed it and started flipping through some of the pages. He recognized the handwriting from a few scanned pages on the computer. The book belonged to Ritsuko. Shinji closed it, slipped it in his pocket, and left the computer room for the day.

* * *

Asuka woke up from the sound of the front door closing. She glanced over to her clock and noted it was one in the morning. She slid her door open a crack and glanced at who was coming in. Shinji walked to his room. He didn't even look around. He just closed the door behind him and that was that. 

_He's just _now_ getting home?_ Asuka thought. What was he doing? He'd left before noon and he was getting back this late? Asuka sighed and dropped back down on her bed. Why was all of this going on? These nightmares, Shinji's constant disappearances... Nothing made sense to her right then. She closed her eyes.

* * *

_"Why do you think you should have Shinji Ikari?" Rei asked her. Her ice-blue hair waved slightly in a calm wind. Asuka noted she couldn't feel any wind. "Isn't it both selfish and childish to cling to him like he's your guardian angel?"_

_"What are you talking about_ _?" demanded Asuka. She looked around the black void she was sitting in. "Where am I?"_

_"You suck at the one thing you think you're good at…" Eva Unit-02 appeared behind Rei as if waiting for its signal. Rei glided gently to the top of the red Evangelion Unit and draped her arms around its neck. "You really don't deserve this you know." Rei's face suddenly appeared in front of her. Rei's massive disembodied head was bigger then Asuka. Asuka dropped to her knees and her pupils shrank in fear. Rei grinned uncharacteristically, revealing razor sharp teeth as she threw one last line at her._

* * *

Asuka shot up in bed. The morning sun was deceivingly bright. Asuka cupped her face with her hands and fought back the fear rising within her. Why did she keep having these nightmares? Asuka stood up and walked into the kitchen. Shinji was already eating breakfast. 

"Are you ready?" he asked somewhat sheepishly. Asuka closed her eyes and leaned on the counter with her back to Shinji.

"For what?" she muttered.

"The festival," Shinji replied blankly.

The festival! That was tonight! How could she forget? She was just talking about it with Hikari yesterday. "Yeah!" she lied. "Lemme guess," she said more lively then before as she whipped around to face Shinji. "_You_ didn't remember until just now and now you're hoping I forgot too so you'd have someone to worry with?" She laughed a little.

"You're pathetic," she teased. "I'm going to take a shower. Have fun panicking over the limited amount of time you have left," Without giving Shinji a chance to speak, she walked into the bathroom and closed the door. She listened for a second for Shinji's small chuckle at the situation to make sure he wasn't taking that seriously before turning on the hot water.

* * *

It was five o'clock when Asuka and Shinji left Misato's for the festival. Asuka was wearing her yellow dress and Shinji had the school uniform minus the tie. They were the last of their friends to show up. 

Kensuke, Toji, and Hikari were all waiting at the front gate. Hikari was wearing a formal kimono and Toji had a black t-shirt hanging over jeans. Toji crossed his arms and looked away from the arriving duo to hide his embarrassment over going to the festival with Hikari. Asuka took one look at Toji and pointed.

"You look like a thug!" she exclaimed. Shinji and Kensuke laughed but Toji just got red in the face. Hikari looked down in embarrassment.

"_I'm_ the only idiot who wore a kimono…" she said. "No one else has one…"

"No," started Asuka. "It's expected to wear something like that to a festival. I would have two if I hadn't-," She stopped in mid-sentence, realizing what she'd just admitted. Shinji laughed.

"You _did_ forget!" he exclaimed. "And after that huge incident you made this morning!"

"Shut up!" yelled Asuka before punching him in the back of the head. Kensuke pointed over his shoulder.

"Should we head in now?" he suggested. Hikari nodded and the others followed Kensuke into the festival. Stands were set up everywhere. The smell of fried food soon put the same thought in everyone's mind.

"How 'bout yakisoba?" suggested Kensuke.

"Really?" commented Asuka. Kensuke looked at her.

"Yeah. What's wrong with yakisoba?" he asked.

"Nothing really, but is it really the type of thing you get at a festival?"

"I don't see why not," Kensuke said stubbornly. Hikari smiled.

"I'm actually in the mood for some now that you two are talking about it," Hikari admitted. Kensuke slammed his fist into his palm.

"Then it's settled!" he began leading the pack to the nearest yakisoba stand. Asuka sighed and followed the others.

After they'd gotten their meals they staked out an early spot for the firework show that would be starting. Toji and Hikari sat at one of the benches while Asuka, Shinji, and Kensuke sat on the grass. The fireworks would be shot off over the water shortly after the sun set. At the moment, the sun was just barely visible over the edge of the water.

"You didn't really eat much," Shinji noted as Asuka set her plate down.

"I don't really like yakisoba," Asuka admitted. "You want it?" Asuka held out the plate.

"You sure?" Shinji double-checked before accepting the plate being offered to him.

"Hey Toji, you gonna kiss her tonight?" Kensuke teased. In a flash, a half-eaten plate of their dinner was whipped at his face.

"Shut up or I'll do worse then that!" Toji yelled as Kensuke grumbled and cleaned off his glasses. Hikari just laughed.

A single red firework broke into the still night air. As the glowing sparks fell silently from the sky stars started to appear behind it. The sun had set and the full moon had taken its place. The night sky light up with an eruption of fireworks and stars. Asuka just watched the spectacular sight in silent amazement before she felt a hand on top of hers. She looked down at her hand to see Shinji's pale hand on top of hers.

Asuka couldn't tell if Shinji's face was red from the fireworks or the bold move he had just taken. This was so much more then she'd ever seen him do.

Maybe her dream was right. Maybe she was selfish, but she wanted this. She liked the feeling of just sitting there on the hill with him, watching an amazing feat of pyrotechnics. Maybe…from this…from what was happening… they could be… something…

_More._

Asuka took his hand and they both sat, watching the fireworks exploding in the night sky.

* * *

"Later guys!" Toji waved as he left for his home. A few more blocks down the road Toji and Hikari said goodnight. Shinji and Asuka walked home in silence. The still night air was cool and the moon glowed brightly. In only a few minutes they made it back to Misato's apartment. 

"Goodnight," Shinji said as he went to his room. Asuka smiled faintly.

"Night," she responded. She walked into her room, changed, and fell asleep.

She woke up just an hour later at the sound of someone walking quickly through the house. They threw a few lights on and kept walking around. Asuka groaned and opened her door. Misato was walking back and forth from her room to the kitchen table, trying to find something. Her victory in finding her beret was short lived.

"What are you doing?" asked Asuka. Misato was adjusting her headwear in the mirror and didn't even turn.

"I only stopped by to grab a few things. They need me at NERV. Looks like it's gonna be another all-nighter," She grabbed a folder from the table and opened the front door. She turned to give Asuka a small thumbs-up. "See you later,"

She closed the door and the house was silent again. Asuka walked over to Shinji's room and threw the door open. "How did that _not_ wake you up?" she asked. Once she got a decent view of Shinji's room, she saw why. He wasn't there.

He left again. He left for that place that he kept disappearing to _again_. Asuka looked down and slowly trekked back to her room. She dropped down on her bed and closed her eyes.

* * *

Asuka sat up in her bed. Why did her room feel so different? She stood up and walked over to her door. She pulled it open and found herself staring down a long, poorly lit hallway. Far off in the distance she saw a familiar shape walking away. 

"Shinji!" she called. She started running down the hall towards him, but no matter how fast she ran she never caught up. "Shinji, wait!" She finally hit the other end of the hall and found a door. She pulled it open. Shinji was standing in an empty room holding Rei. Rei looked up from Shinji and gave a small grin.

"Look whose here," jeered Rei in an incredibly dark voice. "Ms. Amazing,"

"You're funny," said Shinji, glaring at Asuka. "Like there's anything amazing about defect-girl there,"

"…defect?" Asuka muttered.

"Oh look," started Rei, feigning concern. "She can't even talk right anymore. Let's see…if we add that to the list, what do we have?"

"We have an obnoxious red-head who can't pilot an Eva, which is supposedly her one accomplishment," growled Shinji.

"And she can't even stay close to the boy she's supposed to like," Rei leaned forward to kiss Shinji.

"No!" screamed Asuka. She suddenly found herself back in Misato's apartment. She was sitting at the kitchen table, which seemed to have become the length of a table in an executive board room. Misato sat at the other end with Kaji. "Kaji!" she called. He didn't answer her. "Kaji?"

"Wake up, you idiot," Misato barked. "He's dead!" Kaji was suddenly in front of Asuka. He was standing on the table. He started to bleed from what were apparently bullet holes in his chest.

"No!" Asuka screamed. "You're lying!"

"Why do you think you haven't seen him?" Misato growled. "Didn't you ever wonder where the man who was always following me went? Don't you think you should have seen him around?!" Kaji's corpse fell on Asuka.

"No one loves you,"

Asuka found herself sitting in a chair next to her mother's hospital bed. Her mother was holding a doll and started speaking. "It's your own fault. You drove everyone away. No one can stand you." Asuka suddenly found herself watching everyone she'd ever known walking away from her. Shinji, Kaji, Misato, everyone. Everyone was leaving her alone.

"But what do you expect from the girl who caused her mother to kill herself?" asked her mother.

"No…" Asuka said quietly.

"You let me die. You drove them all away," Her mother never looked at her.

"…it was…" Asuka attempted speaking again.

"You killed me, and you'll die alone. You'll die by yourself. No one will care. _You don't deserve you life._ All of it was your own fault,"

"It was your fault!" screamed Asuka. She knocked the wooden chair over and wrapped her hands around her mother's throat. "Everything was because of you! I piloted the Eva for you! You killed yourself, and I just tried harder to be noticed!" Asuka's mother gagged and clutched at her daughter's hands

"Everything was because of you! I piloted to be noticed by _you_!" Asuka screamed. "Everything I did was for attention! I wanted to be loved! All I wanted was a mother!"

The hands grabbing at Asuka fell limp. Asuka just watched as her mother stopped fighting and went limp in her daughter's arms.

Asuka shot up in bed. Every part of her was shaking. Her breathing was ragged and short. She lifted up her hands. She stared at her palms. "With my own hands…." Her shaking became more violent. "I…" Asuka stopped breathing for a second.

Asuka threw her head up in the air and screamed.

* * *

That's the end of chapter 8! Writer's block really sucks. The scene with Hikari where they had lunch I had intended to be more in depth, and in the end I feel like it was kind of short, but either way, this is the finished product! 

Thanks for reading, and please review!


	9. For Your Efforts

The one year anniversary of this fic is coming up soon. It really doesn't feel like it to me, but I guess to the fans it might. I'm aiming to get chapter ten up by the anniversary.

This is the last chapter to feature Rei in action for a while. The next story arc touches back to the beginnings and after that the story pulls into its final moments. Looking at it that way it seems like it's almost over, but there's easily another six or seven chapters left at the least.

That being said, I have my thanks to give out to all the readers of the story for sticking with it, and then it's time to start the chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

This was it. He was there. All Shinji had to do was press the key and- 

_Click._

The sound of the machinery behind him starting made his heart race. He couldn't believe it. It was actually starting. It was actually working. He was going to succeed.

The tank of LCL bubbled violently. The liquid started to solidify into the colorless mass he'd seen before. It started to take form. Gradually a human body appeared in the now empty tank. He opened his eyes. Shinji tried to breathe the person's name, but he couldn't.

In fact, he couldn't do a thing. Everything disappeared. The lab and all of its components faded into blackness. A spotlight dropped on a red-head standing behind him. Asuka raised her head.

"In the end…" she began in a voice lower then a whisper. "Was it worth it?"

* * *

Episode 9: For Your Efforts

* * *

Shinji lifted hit head off the computer desk. It was a dream. All of it. He put his head in his hands. Suddenly he realized what it meant. If he'd fallen asleep, he'd been at the lab a lot longer than he'd intended. He checked his watch. 

It was nine in the morning. Shinji silently cursed himself for being so stupid. It was a school day. Asuka would already be up by now. He had to get to school. Maybe he'd just say he slept in.

No, that wouldn't do. What if she'd checked his room for him in the morning? He'd have to think of something on his way. He'd done little more then grab his bag when he decided it would be best to just go back to Misato's.

* * *

Asuka sat with her back against the wall. She was holding onto her pillow. She didn't go back to sleep after she'd woken up. She hadn't done much of anything really. There was a moment where she'd felt she was going to throw up, but it passed. Her clock told her it was a little past ten when Shinji finally came home. 

Judging by the sound of his footsteps, he was getting closer to her room. It was then she'd remembered that she hadn't closed her door entirely last night. She hoped he'd just walk by, but sure enough he saw her.

"Asuka?" he asked. "I thought you'd be at school?" There was a long moment of silence. Finally seeing that she wasn't going to give an answer, he spoke again. "Are you okay?" Asuka remained silent. After a few minutes Shinji began speaking for a third time. "Asuka?" he started walking towards her. He reached a hand toward her.

"Get away from me!" Asuka screamed. She retreated to the corner of her bed. Concern flashed across Shinji's brow. That didn't matter. He had to leave. He had to get away from her right then. The sight of him made her think about last night. "Just get the hell away!"

There was a long moment of silence before Shinji finally turned around and started back towards the kitchen. He must have thought it'd be best to leave her alone for a while. "I'm going to make some breakfast. If you need something, just let me know, okay?"

He closed her door. Asuka dropped her face into the pillow. That wasn't what she'd wanted and she knew it. She didn't want him to leave. She was only making up reasons to try and get him away. She lifted her head and started to speak.

"Why am I…?"

She dropped her face back in her pillow, trying to block the light of the day.

* * *

Several hours had passed since he'd checked on Asuka. It was when he'd made lunch that she finally came out of her room. He only caught a glimpse of her before she was in the bathroom. He heard the sound of her vomiting. Maybe her actions were the result of a virus? 

He had finished eating when she finally emerged from the bathroom. "Do you think you should try to eat something?" Asuka didn't even acknowledge him. She returned to her room and closed the door behind her. Shinji decided it was best to leave her alone for a while.

* * *

Gendo Ikari sat calmly in his office. Fuyutsuki was standing before him. 

"They're growing impatient, sir," Fuyutsuki spoke quietly. "SEELE can't be kept waiting forever. They want to talk to you." Gendo knew what they wanted. He smiled.

"They can wait a little longer," Gendo spoke as though nothing was wrong. "Soon there own plans won't matter at all. Have Misato bring in the first child. There are some things that need to be taken care of before we can move on to the Human Completion project."

* * *

Night had fallen. After an entire day of dodging Shinji, Asuka opened the door to her room. Shinji was holding his bag and getting ready to leave. 

"You're going to that place again, aren't you?"

"What?" asked Shinji. He turned to look at her.

"You just keep leaving for the same place, all the time…" Asuka just stood in front of her room. She was struggling to remain standing.

"Asuka, you need sleep-!" Before he'd even finished his sentence Asuka yelled a response.

"I can't!" she screamed. "I can't sleep!"

"…why?" asked Shinji.

"Because I'll see her again…or because maybe I won't," Asuka wasn't making sense, and she knew it.

"See…who?" asked Shinji.

"Mother." Asuka said flatly. Her chest hurt. A throbbing pain was coming from inside her.

"Asuka…what are you talking about?" Shinji asked.

"Every night…since that fight…" Her chest ached. Asuka continued to speak, ignoring it. "I've had nightmares. They…they're…I'm…" Shinji backed up a step.

"Asuka, maybe I should get Misato?" he suggested. He still thought her problem was medical.

"Don't go!" she cried. Asuka started towards him. "It's…I'm scared. Shinji…please…"

"Asuka…I don't-,"

"Please!" Asuka begged. "Stop leaving! Stop going to that place!" Why was her chest hurting so badly? "Why do you keep leaving? You just keep going in and out at all hours! You've _lied_ to me when I've asked before! What is so important?"

"I…It's just that…" Shinji couldn't possibly tell her what he was trying to do. How could he? All of this was wrong. Asuka wasn't supposed to be saying these things.

"…Are you leaving to see someone?" Asuka's mind raced over ideas.

"No!" Shinji struggled with words. "It's not…I'm just…" He couldn't think of a way to express his thoughts. She was asking him to stay. She was asking him to stop all of his efforts in the lab.

She walked closer to Shinji. Her chest was burning. "Please…There's something wrong with me. I can't sleep because I'm afraid…" the girl was on the verge of tears. Shinji backed towards the door.

"Don't leave!" she screamed. "Please don't leave me alone anymore!" her voice quieted. "I…Shinji…I need you,"

There was a long moment of silence before Shinji simply said, "I'm sorry," and turned to leave. He closed the door. Asuka collapsed to her knees as her chest exploded with one final burst of pain. Then she just went numb. Asuka was alone. She was completely alone, and not even the man she loved would stay with her anymore.

Shinji closed the door to the apartment and looked up to see Misato. "Shinji?" she asked. "Where are you going?" It was just a simple question, but Shinji did little more then blink before running off down the street. Misato opened the door to her apartment and saw Asuka on her knees.

"Asuka!" she cried. She knelt down next to her. "What's wrong?" Misato grabbed her by the shoulders. Asuka gave no response. After a short while, she looked up with an expression that showed complete defeat.

"It doesn't matter anymore…" Asuka said quietly. "No one cares… No one ever did, did they? Everything…" Asuka looked up towards the ceiling. "Nothing matters anymore."

It was at that moment that Asuka became unresponsive. She couldn't hear Misato calling her name. She couldn't hear help being called. She couldn't see the kitchen light directly above her head. All she felt was a deep cold feeling approaching.

It was a cold feeling that she had escaped the day she underwent Gendo's instrumentality program. It felt like she had been swimming atop a lake this whole time, and she finally stopped trying to stay above the water.

* * *

_First Entry_

_Upon request of Gendo the MAGI underwent a brief analysis to assure all systems were running properly. While there, I linked the MAGI system to core terminal._

_Second Entry_

_The program is running smoothly. It has been set up to shut off all power within NERV. A field test is not a possibility for obvious reasons._

_Third Entry_

_All information collected on the MAGI regarding the angels had been extracted to core terminal. Now that all the pieces are in place, I'll begin installing software from the system used to create the dolls. _

_Fourth Entry_

_Field test went horribly wrong. The first attempt in the reconstruction of the Angel was missing required pieces of information about the Angel's structure. The Eva units were capable of taking it down, but not without a struggle. A little more work on the basic structure should prove more then a challenge for them._

_Fifth Entry_

_A problem has arisen. In an attempt to access the information on the fifteenth angel, a quote foreign to all databases and search engines appeared. Its purpose is uncertain, but it blocks any and all access to information withdrawn from the MAGI. The only way to access information on the Angels now is to withdraw it directly from the MAGI system. The encryptions and codes set around them will make a direct-input to the machine nearly impossible._

_Sixth Entry_

_The second attempt bared results far more satisfying then expected. Loyalty to myself and a complete understanding of the operation at hand seems to be encoded into the being. _

_Final Entry_

_Remote access to the power has been set up and confirmed to work. When the switch is thrown, everything should finally fall into place._

Shinji closed Ritsuko's book and set it down. There were quite a few parts that made close to no sense to him, but Shinji had found what he'd needed. The key piece of information to complete his task. Shinji booted up the computer. He'd have to access the MAGI apparently to get his information.

Shinji went through a few different applications, trying to find his way around the system. He found what he thought he was looking for. At least, it was labeled with the name he was looking for. Shinji sent the information to the program and set it up. This was all he needed. Now things were just a click away. He ran through the information. The application was set to go, the link status of the machinery was all set, and the name Nagisa, Kaworu was flashing under the information section. Shinji clicked the start button.

The machinery behind him started to buzz. Shinji felt his anticipation rising. At the same time his anxiety was struggling to find something wrong with what he'd done. He tried to convince himself that there was nothing. But then his expression fell. Something told him that there _was_ something wrong. And he suddenly realized what it was.

The information he was searching for, the _person_ he was searching for, wouldn't be under Nagisa, Kaworu. That would be his school information, his height, that general information. Anything that identified him, any piece of information that might have contained his personality, his actions, or who he really was, would have been analyzed under the last angel.

Shinji tried to stop the program. He turned to the computer and tried to click on anything he could. But the sound of glass shattering behind him told Shinji that he was too late. A figure stepped forward. It looked like a man. He appeared to be in his late teens and had short black hair. He walked forward a few steps and reached out a hand. The fingertips started to drip away like a melting snowman.

Shinji screamed as the person that had walked out of the tube investigated his dripping fingers. He clutched his fingers and looked at Shinji. His expression crossed confusion with rage. Shinji scrambled towards the door. How could he think he could do this? After reading Ritsuko's journal, after reading that even that genius had failed in her first attempt, why would he try?

Shinji's thoughts were cut short as the figure tackled him into the wall.

* * *

The thing screaming in front of him went down easy. A simple slap and he had been knocked out cold. Considering this was his first few minutes of life, he considered his ability to knock someone out that easily a triumph. Then he noticed his fingers were still dripping. 

He was unstable. His form was fighting to revert to the primordial state. He was flawed. This machinery, everything that was surrounding him, had birthed him without assuring a perfect result? What kind of cruel operator would do that? No. That wouldn't do at all. He was going to die in a matter of hours at this rate. But he wouldn't be leaving without some kind of revenge. He wanted some kind of consolation for being born in the world with such a limited amount of time on his shoulders.

He began destroying all the machinery, the computer, the tube, the giant unidentifiable systems, all of it. Nothing would be left standing in his wake. He would destroy this place.

_Destroy the Lilim._

The term confused him. Destroy the what? Was his mind referring to creatures like the one he'd knocked out? If there were more, more responsible for his life, he'd make them pay. He'd kill everyone in NERV. How exactly he knew his location was a mystery to him, but he didn't wait around for answers. He burst through the door with a strength he didn't know he had.

Something was telling him to ignore his initial urge. It was telling him to ignore his bloodlust, and instead head to someplace at a lower level. Something seemed to be calling him to places beneath his location. He was being drawn to Terminal Dogma.

* * *

Misato swiped her access card and walked into Central Dogma with Rei close behind. The commander was already sitting up above. Misato had done little more then pick Rei up and bring her to NERV when the alarm sounded. The immediate command issued was to centralize in Central Dogma. 

"A breach on the lower levels has been detected," reported one of the three at the computers. The second continued from his investigations.

"The intruder's origins seem to be from within NERV itself. It's almost like he started within the walls…" He trailed off. His disbelief was obvious. Maya started speaking last.

"Strong impulses are resonating from the lower levels. I'm bringing up the visual now,"

A man appeared on screen. He was standing in a hole of rubble where the floor used to be. He was punching downward with unrealistic strength and shattering the floor. "Estimating trajectory," Maya typed a few commands. "He's heading for Terminal Dogma!" she exclaimed.

"Rei, go get ready to pilot Unit-00," Misato commanded. "Go quickly," Rei nodded and started to leave, but stopped upon further instructions from Gendo.

"Use the pilot of Eva Unit-02 instead," Gendo said calmly. Misato tensed. "Is there a problem, Miss Katsuragi?"

"Asuka Langley Soryu is currently incapacitated," she spoke calmly despite her feelings. "She has reverted to her previous state from four months ago, and is currently unconscious,"

"Four months ago?" his shock was evident in his voice. Misato knew his thoughts. Asuka's condition had increased dramatically after she underwent Gendo's instrumentality program nearly four months ago. How could she revert in such a short time frame? "Fine, then dispatch the third child,"

"The location of Shinji Ikari is presently unknown," Misato reported without missing a beat. She had been expecting that. He'd called Rei in for a reason, and didn't want to use her to combat an unknown enemy. Unfortunately for him, that was there only option. She heard Gendo curse under his breath before he gave his reluctant response.

"Prepare Rei for immediate dispatch,"

* * *

Rei sat calmly as the entry plug filled with LCL. There was a slight second of discomfort before the substance oxygenated her lungs. A small voice crackled through her transmission system. "Are you ready, Rei?" Misato asked. Rei nodded and confirmed with a simple 'yes'. Unit-00 was launched to the lower levels. 

Rei trekked along the path for a while, holding the assault rifle and carefully checking her surroundings for traces of the target. The ceiling collapsed in front of her. When the smoke cleared, the target was staring with glowing eyes. It ran towards Rei faster then any human could. It took a swing at Rei.

Rei pulled back instinctively, telling the unit to jump backwards. She readied the rifle and started to fire. With its amazing speed the creature dodged. It pulled back its left arm for another attempted strike. This time it succeeded in making contact. Rei's combat instincts allowed her to dodge majority of the blow, but a scrap of metal was sent flying across the room.

"What the hell is that thing? Don't the MAGI have any report yet?" demanded Misato. A voice answered her in a frantic tone.

"It's the same thing as before! Any attempt at getting a good view of the thing just results in that line appearing!"

"What line?" asked Misato. She glanced at the screen.

_Ye be in God's Garden, where all that is in the name of truth is spoken by the Angels,_

"The most we can get is that it has the same blood pattern as the last creature did. But it looks really unstable…"

Rei fired in a waving motion, hoping to strike the creature when it wasn't expecting it. Still, its speed was unrivaled. It was nearly on her again before she jumped back once more. This time Rei dropped the weapon. A plate on the back of her unit opened and a Prog knife extended.

Rei reached back and took hold of the weapon. When the creature lunged at her once more, she plunged it into his abdomen. The response was immediate. The creature started to break apart, and in a matter of minutes all that remained was a puddle of LCL.

Rei slid the Prog knife back into place, and walked Unit-00 back to Central Dogma.

* * *

Shinji groaned and sat up. His head felt like it was on fire. What happened? Slowly, images of dripping flesh were called back to his mind as he remembered his abomination. He stood up and looked around. 

It was gone. Everything was completely destroyed. The computer, the machines, and the tank were left in pieces. "No…" Shinji whispered. Shinji walked over to the computer and flicked it on. The crack on the screen inverted the image, but he could still make out the message.

_No Input_

He glanced over to the computer. It was destroyed. All of Ritsuko's programming was gone. "NO!" Shinji cried as he looked at the remains of the computer. Everything was gone. Everything he'd been working on was destroyed. Everything he'd been hoping for was right there; the broken pieces of the computer lining up with the broken pieces of his dreams.

Any chance he'd ever had at seeing Kaworu again was gone.

* * *

This has to be one of my fastest updates ever. So boys and girls, after all of that fun the story line has found itself back at its beginnings. That may discourage people from reading if I phrase it like that…Either way, the story's pulling into its second-to-last story arc, and I hope you readers will see it through to the end. 

So thank you very much for reading the newest chapter of Eva. Please review! I greatly appreciate them! Which reminds me…thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! See you all on the anniversary!


	10. All I'm Worth Pt1

I found what my friend said about Asuka's confronting of Shinji kind of funny. She said I didn't just throw her in front of him, but instead wore her down before she broke. She phrased it like this; "It's like you beat her with a baseball bat, and then threw her in front of Shinji". Then the scene where Rei had made Asuka cry in chapter two came up. My friend said "That's where you picked up the bat".

But for those who feel bad for Asuka right now, don't worry. The next two chapters are all about the aftermath of that day, and how they're going to move on. Everything will be resolved in time for the beginning of the final part. For those of you who want to know, there are exactly six chapters left after this one.

I need to thank all of the people who reviewed on the last chapter. It's great to hear your opinions on what happened. So, all that aside, here's chapter 10. Enjoy.

* * *

The gentle hum of the hospital's machinery was the only sound in the sterile, white room. Positioned in the middle of the room was a simple bed on which Asuka Langley Soryu was positioned, unconscious. Unlike her previous room, this one had no window. The only thing to stare at was the pale, thin face of the red head.

Shinji sat next to her. He was motionless. He watched Asuka with a sullen look. This was his fault. _Everything_ that had happened was his fault. NERV now had a lovely hole puncturing through several floors, and, more importantly, Asuka had returned to the state she was in four months ago. The worst of it all was that he couldn't do anything. Shinji whispered silently, his body finally putting into words the only thing his mind could think about.

"I'm so screwed up,"

* * *

Episode 10: All I'm Worth

* * *

Shinji slid the front door to Misato's apartment open. To his dismay, the woman was still sitting at the table. Misato turned to look at him as he stepped inside. Shinji just stared back. Finally, Misato asked a question.

"How is she?" Misato asked. She was holding a cup of coffee, a surprise switch from her usual beverage of choice. "Asuka, I mean,"

"Nothing's changed," Shinji responded sullenly. He started to walk to his room when a loud noise startled him. Misato had slammed the porcelain cup down on the table. The force of the impact caused some of the hot liquid inside to spill over the sides.

"Shinji," she said in an exhausted tone. "Are you blaming yourself for this?" At his silence she continued. "Every time something like this happens, you just push everyone aside so you can wallow in you own self pity. Why do you do this to yourself?!" She was getting loud. All Shinji wanted was to be far away from this moment, to get away from this confrontation.

"Are you just going to sit in your room again? Are you just going to do nothing but blame yourself again?" Misato was relentless. Finally she provoked a reaction.

"How can you say things like that?" Shinji asked. "You don't even know what happened."

"Then why don't you tell me?" asked Misato. She tried to keep her anger down, hoping she could pull through as a guardian this time. Shinji didn't say anything. Her rage was building up again.

"Asuka's like this…because of me…" Shinji said slowly. Misato snapped.

"Stop blaming yourself!" she yelled. "Everything in the world isn't your fault!"

"But this _is_!" Shinji yelled back. Misato was surprised. It wasn't like him to actually yell. "Asuka needed me and I left her! I went after something I wanted instead of staying with her! She's unconscious because of me!" Shinji stared at her, trembling ever so slightly.

"Shinji…I-," Shinji slammed the front door of the apartment. He was gone again. When did he change so much? When did he start acting with more confidence in his words? When did he start yelling when he was provoked? Shinji had changed, and Misato hadn't even noticed.

Misato hadn't. She hadn't changed since the last angel was killed. She was so wrapped up in work, in trying to figure out the clues Kaji had left her that she didn't take the time to be a decent guardian to Shinji. God knew he needed one. It looked like she'd failed as a parent figure again. She hadn't even tried to stop Shinji from leaving. Misato sighed and started to clean up the spilt coffee on the table.

* * *

Rei sat in the middle of a large white room. Several wires ran from her head and arms to unseen devices. She assumed they were monitoring her. 'They', being Gendo and Fuyutsuki. Commander Ikari had instructed her to remain stationary, and so she did.

He'd been having her sit like this for a while. Several times he'd asked if she would participate in the instrumentality program again, and each time she'd respond with a firm "No", usually followed by a one line explanation of how a program such as that was useless on her. And each time in response he'd say how that was a disappointment.

Recently, he'd started running synch tests between Rei and Unit-01; or at least she assumed they were synch tests. With the way things had been going lately, it seemed likely it was another strange test that would usually have been carried out with Dr. Akagi monitoring her. But since said doctor had been 'missing' lately, Gendo watched over these tests.

After a few more minutes of silence, Gendo spoke through the intercom device linked to the room she was in. "You're free to go, first child. Rei stood, removed the wires, and walked back to the locker room to change back to the school uniform.

* * *

Shinji walked the streets of Tokyo-3 solemnly. He'd stormed out of Misato's and had absolutely no idea where to go. Just great. He sighed and continued walking. He could always visit Asuka again, but decided against it. He'd been there for a good couple of hours, waiting, hoping for some kind of change. When none came, he felt an overwhelming wave of guilt assault him.

If he hadn't been so obsessive over the computer program, if he hadn't been hoping for some slim chance, a somewhat insane belief that it might actually happen, if none of that had been there, Asuka wouldn't be the way she was at the moment. His eyes caught on something that pulled him out of his self-attacking thoughts. Rei Ayaname was standing on the other side of the street, staring right back at him.

They stared at each other for a while. The sound of birds singing echoed down the street. A cloud blocked the sun for a moment, slightly darkening the scene as a car drove by, obstructing Shinji's view of the first child. When it was gone, and when the cloud had moved on, brightening the streets yet again, Rei had turned the opposite way and was walking down the slope that led to the riverbank. Confused as to his reasoning, Shinji followed.

When he'd crossed the street, he saw Rei staring into the clear, reflective waters of the river. Shinji stood slightly behind for a minute before sitting on the ground a few feet to her left. "How do you feel?"

The question was so sudden and unexpected Shinji didn't know how to respond. "How do I…feel?"

"Is it a difficult question?" Rei asked, her voice empty of any sign of emotion.

"No…maybe…but, how do I feel about what?" asked Shinji.

"About everything that's happening," asked the girl. "About the recent attack, about Asuka," Shinji lowered his head.

"Both were my fault," he said at last.

"Does it trouble you?" Rei asked. It was hard to tell if she was trying to be a good friend or just callously seeking information. Shinji didn't say anything. "Would it be any kind of help to say the attack doesn't matter?" When Shinji still didn't speak, she narrowed her eyes. "So everything you feel right now really is connected to the second child,"

Rei stood as a gentle breeze flowed across the scene. When it stopped, she sat down next to him. "How do you really feel about her? If you care so much, like you seem, then why do you two intentionally fight with each other?"

"Rei…" Shinji tried to think of something to derail the conversation. Nothing came to mind, and so Rei continued to speak.

"How is it that you two seem to have grown so close, and yet you're so distant now? Is that really what your love means?" Shinji choked on his spit and coughed.

"That's not what…" How was he supposed to respond to that?

"It draws you two together, and yet still cause trouble…and still…" Rei looked into the water, staring at her reflection. "Shinji Ikari, what if I were to say I loved you?"

Shinji turned to stare at the girl. Her expression hadn't changed in the slightest. Was she honestly waiting for his reaction? No, she was talking again.

"What if I said, that I was in actuality…What if I was finding myself to be less of an individual then I had hoped?" Rei spoke calmly. "The second had grown close to you…and I think that I have those kinds of feelings in common with her," Shinji stood suddenly. She looked over to him.

"I have to go," he said before starting to walk away. Rei stood and watched him walk away. She held her right arm and kept it pressed tightly against her side.

"Tell me Shinji Ikari," Rei spoke softly, knowing he was too far away to hear. "How would I know if that was love?"

* * *

Fuyutsuki had waited for Rei to leave before speaking to Gendo. "She keeps refusing instrumentality. Is it really okay for her to leave when so little has been accomplished?"

"It's fine that she's not accepting my program. After all," Gendo's mind flashed with images of Asuka and his son. "The original two seemed to have not benefited from it at all. There proceeding as if it hadn't even happened,"

"Time isn't on our side," Fuyutsuki warned, speaking of SEELE.

"I know that," Gendo said. "But we don't need much more of it as it stands,"

* * *

Shinji wandered to NERV. He couldn't go back to Misato's. Not knowing that she was there, waiting. Shinji sighed and sat in the chairs in front of the vending machines. He was tired. He leaned back and closed his eyes-

-and opened them as he heard a piano playing. He had been sitting in front of the river. Now he stood and tried to find the source. He finally came upon a small building. The door opened easily, and he found himself watching someone with gray hair slide his long fingers across the black and white keys. The figure finally ended the tune, pressing down three keys in a chord.

"It's a beautiful tune, isn't it?" he asked. He leaned back to stare at Shinji. "Do you know it? Beethoven's ninth. Captivating in its own sense yet amazing that it's still played after all this time."

"Kaworu," Shinji said. He wasn't surprised to see him. If he was right, he was dreaming at the moment. Still, he proceeded in the moment as if it was real.

"Tell me, why do you find it so difficult to tell someone how you feel?" Kaworu stood and began walking towards Shinji with his hands in his pockets. "Is it truly difficult to say the three words your heart asks you to?"

"I don't know…" Shinji confessed. "It's difficult…everyone expects different things from me,"

"Maybe you should consider more what you want to do," asked the silver haired boy. "Maybe you should listen to what it is you want deep down. The human heart; frequently associated with feelings of an intimate nature and in reality it holds no other purpose then sustaining your life.

"Maybe the problem isn't that you can't read what it is it's telling you. Maybe you just can't draw enough courage within yourself to admit it to anyone but yourself," \

"Courage?" asked Shinji.

"You've gained a lot of it lately, yet you still can't do it. So it could be that that isn't the issue. It could be something up here," Kaworu put a finger on Shinji's head. He was only about half a foot away from Shinji. "Perhaps you should actually try to fix something yourself.

"Unless, this is what you really want. To stay here, in this dream. What if I said you could? What if I said it was all up to you?" Kaworu stared into Shinji's eyes. "Do you want to live in the past? Or do you finally want to take that step?"

Shinji stared, wide eyed. Kaworu stopped smiling and his face became entirely serious. "You can't. Even though I empathize with what you feel, you can't choose to stay in the dark. Even if I wanted you not to, you have to start walking. Wake up, Shinji,"

And with that simple command, Shinji woke up. The lights in the room he was in had been turned off. The only source of light came from the hall adjacent. Shinji stood up and walked toward the hall, deciding to visit Asuka.

He was in her hospital room in a matter of minutes. He sat in the chair next to her bed and did little more then watch her breathe for a solid ten minutes. Finally he spoke. "I'm sorry…" he began. "All of this is because of me, Asuka." The red head continued to breathe in the hospital bed, unresponsive.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "This was all my mistake. All because I couldn't say what I needed too…"

_Every time something like this happens, you just push everyone aside so you can wallow in you own self pity._

"Now you're like this again, because I didn't stay. Asuka…"

_How is it that you two seem to have grown so close, and yet you're so distant now? Is that really what your love means?_

"Asuka, I love you…I really do. All I want…"

_Unless, this is what you really want. To stay here, in this dream. What if I said you could? What if I said it was all up to you?_

"With everything that's happened…all I really want right now…"

_You can't… you have to start walking. Wake up, Shinji._

"Asuka," Shinji started to cry. "I just want you to wake up. Please…Asuka…" His voice grew quiet and he put his head down on her bed. He sniffed once, and spoke again. "Please just wake up,"

There were a few minutes in which he just sat there, his head on her bed, and then he heard something. A voice came from the occupant of the bed. "Shinji?" Shinji lifted his head and stared in disbelief. Her eyes were open. Asuka was awake.

* * *

To be continued

* * *

Wow. The one-year anniversary and the story's first two-parter. The next chapter is Asuka and everything she went through in her mind from the point Shinji left her to the point she woke up. Since it wasn't really moving on with the story and is mostly just a continuation of this part, I figured the 'to be continued' was in order.

The challenge I had with this chapter was actually putting Shinji through the same kind of emotional tests that Asuka's going to have to go through. The problem was being able to do it in the reality of the story. Hopefully I met everything I needed to through this, and with luck it came out decent. We'll see how Asuka's turns out next update.

Thanks of course for reading, and to those who have been here since the beginning, thanks for seeing this through an entire year. It's almost hard to believe this fic will be over before the end of the summer. Thanks for reading, and please review! I appreciate it.


	11. All I'm Worth Pt2

Thanks for reviewing and reading. Now we move on to what happened inside Asuka's mind from the point where Shinji left her to the point where she woke up. Let's start her trip. Enjoy chapter 11.

Disclaimer: (did I put one of these up last time?) I don't own Eva or its characters.

* * *

"I…Shinji…I need you," Asuka said. Everything she was, everything that made her herself, depended on him. At this one pivotal point, she needed him. Over the years she'd put up a barrier of her own, one to block out everything that tormented her. Now, thanks to these relentless nightmares, that guard was gone. In its place was a small sliver of hope. Her last hope to get out of her own private hell rested on it. It rested on Shinji Ikari.

Then he turned around. A quick apology and he was gone. The pain in her chest that had grown to an agonizing level suddenly disappeared. The pain that had clutched her heart in a vice grip had instantaneously vanished after he left that room. Asuka dropped to her knees. It was at the time that she finally realized those nightmares had been right. She had nothing, and no one cared.

Asuka vaguely registered Misato running into the house as he vision started to blur. Her mouth opened, expelling the words her head was filling with. "It doesn't matter anymore… No one cares… No one ever did, did they? Everything…" Asuka looked up towards the ceiling. "Nothing matters anymore."

Her vision had abandoned her. She found herself struggling to remain above water in the middle of a lake. Dark woods had her surrounded on all sides. Despite how foreign the place was, Asuka felt a familiar feeling as she paddled above the icy depths of the lake. This was where she'd been all along. Her mind, her heart, her everything, struggled to remain above the water of the lake. She'd been trying so hard, trying to stay above, and trying to survive.

But then that will vanished. The motivation she had to remain above the water slipped out of her hands, and Asuka started to sink in the cold and dark depths of the water.

* * *

Episode 11: All I'm Worth: In the Case of Asuka Langley Soryu

* * *

Asuka's eyes were half open. Her body sank deeper into the lake. She stared above her. A small circle of light rippled far above her head. The surface was easily twenty feet above her at this point. Still, oxygen didn't seem to be a problem. All that mattered was that she could disappear. Asuka closed her eyes and succumbed to the enclosing blackness.

"Is that really how you're going to end it?"

Asuka opened her eyes. She was in her plug suit and sitting on the floor of a large white room. Rei Ayanami was standing in front of her, also in her plug suit. White bandages were wrapped around her forehead and wove in and out of her hair. The first child spoke again.

"Are you just going to let your life stop in this place?" she asked.

"What's the point in it?" Asuka asked. "Why shouldn't I just stay here?"

"So you're just giving up?" she asked. Her crimson eyes narrowed. "How…pathetic,"

"You think it's all so damn easy?!" screamed the red-head. Her rage faded and she clutched at her heart. "I've…been trying to ignore it…but it just keeps coming. The nightmares…"

"Do they show you your faults?" Rei asked coldly. "As in how you struggle even to pilot Eva?"

"Shut up!" Asuka yelled. "It's your fault I've been…" she struggled to find the right word. Her mind flashed to the lake. Her environment changed. She was sitting in a shallow stretch of ocean that touched a deserted beach. "…sinking,"

"When you met me," started Rei. She was standing waste deep in the salty water. She turned around and started walking deeper into the ocean. "You had already hit the bottom,"

In a flash, Rei was gone. Asuka was sitting in the water hugging her knees. She was by herself. She sat there for a while, letting the ocean breeze stir her hair. She turned around at the sound of Shinji's voice.

"Are you ready to go yet?" he asked, seeming impatient. "Let's just get out of here,"

"That's how it always was, wasn't it?" Asuka asked quietly as she stood up. Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"It was always like this…ever since we were attacked by Ariel…" Asuka stared into his eyes, trying to read an expression where there was none. "You always just acted like you cared about me…always pushing to be close…but it was never anything beyond yourself,"

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked, jamming both hands into his pockets.

"You were always acting like you really did care," Asuka's hands balled into fists. "But any time anything important happened, or anytime I needed you, you just left,"

"What's that matter?" Shinji asked. "Can't we just leave? Can't we just-!"

"No!" Asuka interrupted. "Why was it always about what you wanted to do?"

"Asuka…that's not what was happening," Shinji tried to explain.

"Bullshit!" she yelled. "It was always what _you_ wanted!"

"Asuka…please stop-,"

"Then you act pathetic again and just beg!" Asuka seemed to have no control over the volume of her voice anymore. "Where's you're new-found courage?!"

"If you could-,"

"I'm sick of it all!" She lunged for Shinji. Her hands started to grab for his shirt before Shinji disappeared and she was standing in front of her mother.

"Is that a habit of yours?" asked the woman. Asuka's pupils shrank as she recalled killing her mother. Finally a small idea burned inside her.

"That was just a dream," Asuka said, more to convince herself then her mother.

"Even if it was, wasn't it your fault I died?" Asuka stared in confusion. "All because you just couldn't live up to my hopes…you're really useless, aren't you?" Asuka said nothing. Her mind could do nothing but flash with thoughts of self-doubt. Maybe she was useless? She wasn't much of a pilot, and she couldn't even make Shinji stay.

_Shinji._

No. This wasn't her. She wasn't one to just sit here in self-pity. It wasn't, well, _Asuka_ to just sit here. It was his fault. If Shinji had just stayed when she'd asked then she never would have sank.

"It's because of you!" Asuka shouted, knowing full and well that Shinji would appear before her if she'd called for him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Asuka pointed and started walking towards him, vaguely registering that she was now wearing a yellow T-shirt and a pair of very short shorts. "You think you can just keep running off for yourself your whole life?"

Asuka was walking towards him, keeping Shinji on the defensive and make him continuously back up. The floor seemed to be a screen that was showing a close-up of the back of her head and just a glimpse of the front of Shinji's. So were the walls and the ceiling. All of the colors of the scene seemed to blend together.

"What makes you so damn special that you get to just leave me in Hell?!" There was a moment where Shinji threw his hands up to shield his face but Asuka swatted them back down. "You don't get to just leave!"

"And why should _you_ be able to?"

Asuka turned to find Rei standing behind her. Asuka was standing on a stage at this point. An entire audience was watching, as if enjoying a show. "Who do you think you are to talk to Ikari like that?"

"I'm Asuka Langley Soryu!" proclaimed Asuka. Rei faded away and the audience broke into applause. The red head suddenly noticed the occupants of the front few seats. Shinji, Kaji, and Misato were clapping enthusiastically. Feeling it was entirely justified in the moment, Asuka took a bow. She bowed deeply and closed her eyes, letting the sound of applause soak in.

"Why do you take pride in that name?" Asuka turned around and looked at the speaker. She couldn't believe her eyes at first. The voice had come from what was nothing more then a black line formed to the outline of someone. _It looks like a police chalk outline of a murder victim, _she thought.

"That name belongs to a girl who can't do anything," the outline stated with a harsh tone.

"What are you talking about?" asked a defiant Asuka.

"You can't keep Shinji," jeered the outline. "He's too busy seeing me," Asuka stared at the figure, trying to figure out its identity. Suddenly a memory played through her mind.

_Asuka turned to go back to her room. She walked by Shinji's room and stopped. She heard a faint groan inside. Asuka slid the door open. Shinji was sleeping on his side with his back facing Asuka. He was talking in his sleep._

_"Kaworu," he muttered._

"You?!" Asuka's facial expression contorted into an ugly one of rage. "Why is he so obsessed with _you_?!"

The applause continued. Asuka looked out into the audience by doing a quick one-eighty and saw she was staring out of Eva unit-02. She gripped the controls and charged at the enemy. Before she could make contact she felt more then saw the arms and head of her Eva being severed.

Asuka shook from the pain that had been inflicted upon her. She slowly moved her hands up to her neck to make sure her head was still attached. Someone draped their arms around her. Asuka turned to look.

Her mother was holding her. "Sshh," she soothed. "This isn't something for a girl like you to be playing around with." The applause hadn't stopped yet. If anything it had gotten louder. "Let someone who knows how to handle this machine use it," The applause had grown to a deafening level.

"Shut-up!" Asuka screamed and noticed the audience that she stood in front of yet again was non-existent. Only one person remained clapping in the far back of the room. Asuka strained her eyes to see who it was. Shinji smiled at her and kept clapping.

"Stop!" she yelled. He continued clapping. "Just stop clapping!"

"I can't" he said calmly.

"Why not?!" she demanded.

"Because you deserve it."

"No I don't…I really don't…" Asuka said, dropping to her knees.

"Why would you say that?" Shinji asked. He was now standing next to her. "You're not useless," he said. Asuka looked up into his eyes. "A completely useless person couldn't succeed in killing their own mother, right?" Asuka's pupils shrank. This wasn't Shinji. She was looking at Misato now.

"You're doing nothing but wasting space in my house," she muttered. "Do the world a favor and just die,"

"Did you know I didn't leave?" Shinji asked. Asuka was now staring at a scene where Shinji sat in a chair next to Asuka's bed.

"I spent all the time I could with you Asuka, when you were first in the hospital," Shinji continued. "It's because I care, Asuka,"

"I…" started Asuka. Her head hurt so badly. She was completely clueless about what was going on or where she was. The next thing she registered was that she was in a swimming pool. Rei was in the lane next to her. Without needing further instruction she closed her eyes and pushed off from the wall.

She had to win. She had to reach the other side before Wonder Girl. She had to prove she was better. Her from had grown sloppy with her urge to move faster. She was swallowing a lot more pool water then she would've preferred. When she finally thought she was about to hit the other side of the pool she found herself running.

Asuka was running on a track in the lane to the right of Rei. It was just another competition. Another chance to prove she could win. But Rei was fast. Rei was _too_ fast. Rei was only meters away from the finish line. She had to beat her. She had to push. She had to push herself to prove herself better then Rei.

When all hoped seemed lost for her, Asuka found herself sitting in the entry plug for Unit-02. Unit-00 was directly across from her. Asuka pulled out her Prog-Knife and charged at Rei.

"You should know better then to just sit there, Wonder Girl!" Asuka screamed and she plunged the knife into the stomach of her rival's Eva. She knocked the unit onto its back. Shortly after Asuka just kept continuously plunging the knife into the white unit and pulling it out. Red liquid began erupting from Unit-00 when Asuka drove the knife deep into its chest.

"I win, Ayanami!" she shouted. She grinned. It was over. She was better. That was all that mattered. She suddenly noticed a red blur out of the corner of her eye. She looked over and saw Unit-02 charging at her. "But I'm in…!" The red Eva knocked Asuka's onto its side. Asuka felt the pain of her unit's leg snapping in half.

"You deserve every second," muttered her mother. "Such a horrible little girl,"

"Definitely has issues," agreed Misato.

"I can't stand her," said an unidentifiable voice.

Asuka was on her hand and knees in the center of a black void. Voices continued to shout comments at her.

"Pathetic!"

"I hate you!"

"Just die!"

"Absolutely pathetic,"

Asuka put her hands to her head. "Make it stop!" she shouted. The voices continued to circle around her, as loud as ever. All she wanted to do was leave this place. All she wanted to do was-

"I'm sorry…"

Asuka looked up. Shinji's voice was loud and echoing through the area. It was loud enough to be heard over the constant assault of voices. "Shinji?!" she asked.

"I'm sorry,"

"Shinji," Asuka began. "Make this stop!"

"Now you're like this again, because I didn't stay. Asuka…"

"I understand that," Asuka spoke back to his voice. "But I don't care anymore! I just want this all to stop!"

"Asuka, I love you…I really do. All I want…"

Asuka stared up in silence as he spoke. The jeering voices were getting louder.

"With everything that's happened…all I really want right now…"

Asuka's eyes started to water. She was starting to cry. The volume of the voices was almost unbearable.

"Asuka," the voice paused for just the slightest of seconds. "I just want you to wake up. Please…Asuka…"

"Shinji!" she cried, reaching an arm out as countless black outlines piled on top of her. They were pinning her.

"You can't leave,"

"You _won't_ leave,"

"You're ours,"

"You'll die here,"

"Please just wake up," Shinji's voice came again. Asuka reached her right arm as far out as it could go from the mass of darkness enveloping her.

"Shinji!" she cried. She kept reaching towards a small sparkle of light above her. She tried as hard as she could, struggling against the darkness. "I don't want to be here anymore! Please!"

Asuka was yelling at the top of her voice. The darkness had all but covered her when she closed her eyes. She heard a slight hissing sound, and then all of her senses left her. Gradually a faint beeping sound became apparent. Finally she sensed light and warmth. She opened her eyes slowly and rolled her head to her left.

Shinji was sitting in a chair next to her bed. Finally, she regained conscious thought, and opened her mouth to speak. "Shinji?" she asked. It was all over. The entire nightmare was gone. She was finally awake.

* * *

Wow. That took a while, huh? Well, at least it's finally here. Hope you liked it, and please review! I really appreciate those.

Five chapters remain.


	12. Setting the Stage

Thanks for all of the reviews! So, after all of the events that went on in Asuka's unconscious state we finally move on to the final story arc. Normalcy returns for an all of two chapters before the final event begins. So having said all I need to, let the first chapter in the final story line take place! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or its characters.

* * *

Asuka walked behind Shinji as he climbed the final set of stairs. He turned a quick left and finally reached the end of the walkway. He stared at a door for a few seconds. Shinji turned his head to look at Asuka. Picking up on his question, she nodded. Shinji nodded back and turned the handle.

The door opened into Misato's apartment. Misato was looked over from the table and stared in surprise. Shinji looked at her, almost cautiously. "Shinji?" she asked. He moved in the house a little and Asuka walked into Misato's line of vision. She restrained her urge to exclaim the red-head's name. Finally her excitement died down and she just stared at the two of them.

"We're…back," he said slowly. Asuka looked up at Misato through her bangs. Misato closed her eyes and smiled.

"Welcome home,"

* * *

Episode 12: Setting the Stage

* * *

Asuka tilted her head back as she finished the rest of her glass of juice and stood up from the table. She grabbed the plate her breakfast had been on and dumped both it and the glass into the sink. She grabbed her bag for school and turned to Shinji with a smile. "Ready?"

Shinji stood up with his dishes from breakfast in hand. He looked at her, returned her smile, and spoke. "Yeah," Both of them were on the road to school in a matter of seconds. They walked down the street with the sun glaring down above. Asuka looked over at Shinji and grinned. Then she broke into a run. Shinji stammered out a "Wait!" before starting to run himself.

They walked into the classroom together and noticed how empty it was. The only occupants were Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke. "Hey, Shinji!" Toji said as he raised his arm above his head. The other two turned to look as Shinji and Asuka walked in.

"Where is everyone?" Asuka asked as Hikari walked over to meet her.

"Some aren't here because it's kind of early. Others just stopped going to this school. That emergency alert the other week scared away some of the on-edge families," Hikari explained. "As for Ayanami, she hasn't come to school in quite a while…"

"Who gives a damn?" Asuka grumbled, referring to Rei. Hikari looked for a moment before suddenly recalling something.

"Summer break starts tomorrow!" she exclaimed. "What are you all planning to do?"

"Well those two obviously can't go anywhere," Kensuke said as he dug through his bag trying to find something. Sensing the glances of confusion coming from Toji and Hikari he looked up and explained further. "With all the attacks recently Nerve is most likely going to keep them on standby,"

"Really?" asked Toji, looking at Shinji questioningly. Shinji nodded.

"It sounds like them," Shinji said. Two students from their class walked in the door. They were busy in their own conversation and took seats towards the back.

"That sucks," Toji responded. "Being stuck in this practically empty town in the summer,"

"I know that I'm going away," Kensuke added. "I'm going to my grandma's for a while."

"My family's going to some city near the beach for a week," Toji commented. Another student walked into the class. Hikari excused herself and left the classroom for a minute for the bathroom. Toji looked at Shinji. "Actually, I was thinking of asking her to go…"

"You should!" Asuka interjected before Shinji could comment. "She likes spending time with you,"

"Well…" Toji looked at the floor to think. Hikari came jogging back into the classroom.

"Almost didn't make it!" she said as the teacher walked into the classroom, leaving Toji to think.

* * *

Rei stood in the center of Terminal Dogma. Wires ran from her to an unseen machine that let off the occasional beep. She assumed Gendo was the one monitoring the test. Ever since Ritsuko Akagi had vanished, he'd been the one watching over every test performed on her. As far as she knew, no one else had any idea these tests were occurring.

It wasn't unlike Gendo to leave others in the dark, that wasn't the weird part. What struck Rei with a hint of apprehension was the drawn out length of the tests and the frequency at which they were performed. Just what was he checking for? What was he trying to see?

Fuyutsuki rounded a corner and was carrying a strange cord split into three parts. Two of the parts were joined at the end by a metal device with two unlit lights on it. On the other end of one of those parts was a bag shaped similarly to an IV from a hospital. Fuyutsuki submerged it in the neighboring pool of LCL. He pulled it out and the orange liquid seemed to be contained in it. Gendo's assistant then began linking another part of the cord to a vein from Rei.

Deep red blood ran from the vein to the device connecting all three parts. LCL filled the other side. The third part, a black wire, was carried away towards the unseen computer. Rei's crimson eyes narrowed slightly. All this did was raise her curiosity. What was Gendo trying to find through all of this?

Behind Rei, the crucified giant of Lilith twitched.

* * *

"I wonder if he'll ask her?" Asuka said through a mouth full of tooth paste. Shinji was in the kitchen washing the dishes from that night's dinner. Asuka spat the product into the sink and turned the water on. She let it run for a while before filling a plastic cup with it. She tilted her head back to take in all of the liquid, and after a quick swish she spat it back into the sink. The red-head walked into the kitchen holding the towel she used to wipe her mouth. "What do you think?"

"About what?" Shinji asked, never looking up from the pan he was scrubbing.

"About Hikari and Toji?" she answered as she tossed the towel into a small pile of dirty clothes in the corner of her room. Shinji did little more then shrug. Asuka scowled and walked fiercely over to the sink. She reached over Shinji and turned off the water. Shinji went to argue but, seeing the glare she was giving him, he decided it better not to. "I'm trying to have a conversation," Asuka muttered. "Turn the damn water off,"

"You already did," Shinji said under his breath. Asuka shot him a look.

"What was that?" she growled. Shinji quickly claimed he said nothing. "Right," Asuka walked over to the window. "Guess we'll just see tomorrow,"

* * *

"Rei, you can go," Gendo said calmly. The first child nodded and walked out of the room without saying anything. When he was sure she was gone, Gendo spoke again. "It's almost ready. Soon I'll put the Human Completion project in motion,"

"Not to rain on this achievement," Fuyutsuki started. "But SEELE is getting unbelievably impatient,"

"I suppose you're right," Gendo said after a moment of thought. He folded his hands and used his elbows to support his weight on the desk. "They're rather annoying to deal with. Still, it would be an incredible set back if they lose all faith in me. I suppose I should act as their pawn once more,"

"Sir?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"If I do the next thing they ask without overdoing it, they'll lose some of their suspicions, would they not?" Gendo asked rhetorically. "A simple matter, really,"

"Would that really work?" Fuyutsuki questioned. It seemed a little odd to assume SEELE would act as one thought. They were usually quite unpredictable.

"If there are problems," Gendo said calmly. "We'll deal with them. If the unthinkable happens," Gendo glanced at the data flying by the screen in front of him. "We'll back up the servers, and then wipe them out. Then it's just a matter of waiting for the right moment to strike,"

"What if they were to try and replace you as head of operations at NERV?" Gendo stood up and turned to Fuyutsuki.

"That's why I'm going to them now,"

* * *

"Stand! Bow!"

Class was finally over. The summer break had officially begun. Shinji picked up his bag and walked over to the half-circle his friends had already formed. Kensuke was in particularly high spirits.

"Tomorrow I leave for my grandma's house!" he exclaimed. Asuka raised one eyebrow.

"That's supposed to be a good thing?" she asked.

"Of course it is!" he said joyously. "We always go out for Korean Barbeque on the first night we get there!"

"Now I'm jealous," Asuka sighed, retracting her sarcasm. "Tomorrow I'll probably have whatever instant product is easy enough to make,"

"If you want I could go over to cook something?" Hikari suggested. "It could be something in celebration of summer!" Toji shifted uncomfortably. Asuka knew why. He'd probably be leaving early in two days. Having a celebration was really out of the question for him and, if he ever got the nerve to ask her, Hikari. Asuka smiled.

"Don't worry about it," Asuka started. "NERV is probably going to put us through even more synch tests. And even then I don't really know what they might have planned. You shouldn't worry about it," Hikari nodded, understandingly.

"So you guys are really going to be stuck here all summer?" asked Kensuke.

"Looks that way," Asuka muttered darkly.

"We could use the pool at NERV," Shinji thought aloud.

"Great, chlorinated water all summer," she growled.

Hikari laughed a little. Toji had remained silent throughout the entire discussion. The only thing he'd succeeded in doing was turning redder with each sentence Hikari said. Suddenly, he stood straight up.

"Um…Hikari?" his voice cracked slightly. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure!" answered Hikari, completely unaware of how embarrassed he was. "See you guys in a sec!"

Asuka grinned. "There he goes!" she exclaimed. She crept towards the door to try and listen in on their conversation.

"Asuka, wait!" Shinji called. "You shouldn't listen in like that,"

"Why the hell not?" she called back. "I'm the one who said he should ask her in the first place,"

"Ask her what?" Kensuke said. He was completely left out on what was happening. "Is he proposing or something?"

"No," Asuka answered, unaware of his sarcasm. She was too intent on cracking open the door and straining to hear. "He's going to see if she wants to go with him on a family trip,"

"Wow, that's a big step," Kensuke stated. He got as close to Asuka as he could to try and listen too.

"Both of you?!" Shinji exclaimed.

Out in the hall, Toji hesitantly tried to piece words together. "I was…uh…wondering if you wanted…to go to…well…with me…" Hikari titled her head to the side.

"What is it?" she asked. Toji clapped his hands together and did something like a bow.

"Would you go with me and my family on a trip?!" he shouted. He then stood in that position feeling like an idiot. Why'd he blurt it out all at once like that? His face felt hot. His embarrassment was at an all-time high. Finally, Hikari said something.

"I'd love to!" Toji stood up and smiled.

"Really?!" he asked. "That's great!" They stood there in silence for a few seconds. Both of their faces burned red as they started to move in for a kiss. Their lips met and for a few seconds they just stood their like that, both of them enjoying the moment.

"Get off me!" Asuka's voice broke the kiss. The two of them looked over to the classroom door. "You're like on top of me!"

"But I can't hear anything!" Kensuke's voice came next.

"That's no reason to practically lie on top of me! It's gross!" Asuka shouted.

"Can you guys stop?" asked Shinji.

"I'm not the one blocking the entire door!" complained Kensuke.

"And I'm not the one trying to ride someone else!" Asuka shouted.

"That just sounds wrong, Asuka," Kensuke commented.

"Shut up!" yelled the red-head. Finally, the commotion caused the door to go flying open. The three of them landed in a pile in the hall. Toji and Hikari just stared, and started to laugh. Shinji stood up and started to laugh with them. Kensuke let out a small chuckle before Asuka punched him in the face.

* * *

"Bye you guys! See you when school starts up again!" Kensuke had said.

"We'll call you in a week once we get back. We should hang out sometime in the summer," Toji spoke for both himself and Hikari. Their friends had left for their summer destinations.

Asuka emerged from the shower after the sun had set. Shinji had already cleaned up the remnant of dinner and was now missing in action. Asuka looked around shortly before temporarily giving up to throw on clothes. When she was dressed she resumed her search. She found Shinji on his bed, still in his school uniform.

"Shinji, shower's yours," she said. He didn't answer. He'd fallen asleep. The music player in his hands was still playing. Asuka smiled. She quietly walked in his room and switched off the player. Shinji stirred slightly when she removed the headphones, but remained asleep. "Night, Shinji," she said softly, and walked out of his room, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Gendo waited in his office for the phone to ring. When it did, he was in no rush to answer. He let it ring twice then picked it up off the receiver. When he didn't speak, the caller said something.

"Gendo?" asked the voice of SEELE 1.

"Speaking,"

"Our patience with you has worn thin," snarled the voice. "Do you honestly expect to resume your operations at this point?"

"But of course," Gendo answered calmly.

"Then you wouldn't object to allowing us an experiment of sorts?" the voice was clearly expecting him to say 'no'.

"Do as you wish," Gendo responded.

"And you'll comply with any demands?" asked the voice.

"I have no reason not to," There was silence for a few seconds. They hadn't expected him to say that. Finally the spoke again.

"The Eva series has been completed. You are to designate a pilot to battle with one of them, as a way to see which is truly inferior," The voice stopped at this point. Gendo smiled. This wasn't nearly as bad as he'd thought it'd be. It'd provide the perfect chance for him to get the Human Completion Project under way.

"I already have a pilot in mind," Gendo said calmly.

* * *

Asuka stirred slightly in her sleep.

* * *

I have been reading the Angelic Days manga since the beginning, thanks for suggesting it though! My enthusiasm to buy it and spend what little money I have probably comes from how much I loved the Eva series. So that's why I was completely confused when I saw the cover to an anime magazine in the back of volume five of Angelic Days. From what I could see it said new Eva material was going to be released, other then manga. I'll have to look into that and see what I can find.

But I really shouldn't be using author's notes to talk about things like that, should I? Well, the fic is finally in it's finally pages here, and there are few chapters left. I hope you'll read this all the way to the not to distant end, even through the strange chapters that come to follow. Thanks for reading, and please review!

Four chapters remain.


	13. This Show's About You

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Here we are at what is officially the last stand-alone chapter. The final three chapters are all intertwined and connected in somewhat of a three part chapter. So having said that, all that's left to say is to please enjoy chapter thirteen.

Warning: This chapter is particularly graphic when compared to others in the story. It also has strong language and I really think this chapter pushes the T rating to its limits. Just thought I'd give you a heads up.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or any of its characters.

P.S.: I hope this chapter will finally reveal why Asuka had to have the drawn out suffering that she's been receiving over the course of the story

* * *

Asuka pulled the two pieces of toast out of the toaster and set them down at the table. She slid another two pieces in and pushed down on the switch. Shinji was busy frying a few strips of bacon. The fact Misato even had any was a miracle. Fresh products aside from bread and milk were a rarity in the house.

Shinji divided up the bacon as Asuka placed yet another set of toast on the table. Shinji grabbed two plastic cups (every glass was dirty again) and Asuka got the juice. As soon as everything was in place, the pair sat down at the table, shot a smile at each other, and began eating.

Shinji had managed to get half a piece of bacon in his mouth when Misato threw open the front door. "You're needed at NERV!" she exclaimed. Shinji stared with the strip of bacon still half out of his mouth. Asuka stopped drinking from her cup and stared at the woman.

"Right now?" she asked.

* * *

Episode 13: This Show's About You

* * *

Asuka adjusted her hair while she and Shinji ran down the hall. They were on immediate standby, meaning an attack was eminent. They stopped in a lounge-like area. They were there for only a few seconds before Asuka noticed something. "Where's Wonder Girl?" Asuka asked.

Misato walked in from up ahead. "Rei is exempt for medical reasons," Misato explained as she neared the pair of pilots. Asuka's cheeks flared.

"Bull!" Asuka shouted. "She's been out of the hospital for over a week! Why should she get special-!"

"This isn't the place or time," Misato interrupted. Her serious tone stiffened the air in the room. Both Shinji and Asuka stared back, simultaneously understanding the gravity of the situation. "A new enemy has been detected by the MAGI. It's the commander's orders that Asuka is to go up, and Shinji is to be standby,"

"But Misato," started Shinji. "If it's some kind of new enemy, wouldn't it be safer to send both of us up?"

"That'd be my take on it," started Misato. "But Commander Ikari was strongly committed to only Asuka going up there,"

Asuka nodded and began to follow Misato out of the room. "Wait!" Shinji called. The red-head turned and smiled.

"Don't worry," she said. "You won't even have to get in the entry plug," Asuka gave a thumbs up and left the room with Misato. Shinji stared at the floor for a while. He knew what this was. This was her first serious chance to prove herself in her mind. She saw it as a chance to show everyone what an amazing pilot she was.

But something in Shinji's gut told him Asuka should have never left the room.

* * *

"All systems clear!" called Maya. "Pilot is now being sent up!" Gendo watched the screens calmly. He knew Asuka's undying pride would drive her beyond the limits she could have normally lasted in this fight. That was why he picked her. She would buy him the most time.

"Getting an on-screen view of the city," called one of the techs operating the MAGI. Soon an aerial view of the city was displayed in front of them. Gendo observed Unit-02 appearing in the city. It took a step forward and quickly looked around. Seeing nothing, it took another step.

"Tracing enemy location," Maya informed them. "Locked! It's….it's above her!"

"Asuka!" Misato yelled, knowing her voice would be transmitted. "Above!"

Gendo smiled. It was finally here. His time to put his plan into action was upon them. The time for the world to change was with them. The time of Human Completion had finally arrived. The fight had begun.

* * *

Asuka waited as the Eva rocketed upwards towards the city. A collage of lights and metals zoomed by her as she approached the surface. Finally, the metal landing below her stopped moving. She stepped outward into the city and looked around. Seeing nothing, she took another step.

"What is this? I thought there was an enemy…" Asuka looked around, still not finding anything. She was about to assume she was sent up on a false report when Misato's voice crackled into her Eva.

"Asuka! Above!"

Without needing further instruction, Asuka reared backwards and skidded to a halt with the hand of the Eva running along the pavement. Not even half a second later something white crashed down to the ground, its fist cracking holes in the pavement. It stood up and screamed towards the sky, revealing random teeth jutting out of its gums. The blue line that was its mouth resealed with stitches of flesh.

Asuka's eyes widened in fear as her only rational thoughts pieced themselves into words. "What…is that thing?" she muttered. She'd broken out in a cold sweat by the time it turned around to face her. The intercom device sparked to life once again.

"Asuka…it's…" Misato paused, seeming unwilling, no, _unable_ to believe what she'd been told. "It's an Eva,"

"That thing…?" Asuka stared and saw the vague resemblance. The giant, muscular, white body was roughly the height and size of Unit-02. Its face had no eyes. Just a giant mouth that looked capable of eating her whole. It held in its hand some sort of double-sided sword that it held by a handle in the center. It let out a roar and charged at her.

* * *

"What _is_ that?"

Misato turned at the familiar voice. Shinji had joined them in Central Dogma. He stared in horror at the pale giant positioned in front of Asuka. Misato returned her gaze to the screen.

"Does anyone know?" asked Misato. The three in front of her began typing furiously. Finally, one turned to face her with a look of disbelief.

"The MAGI analyzed it and…" he paused. Misato silently urged him on. Any kind of data would help Asuka at this point. The thing had already shown it could fly; a severe advantage over Asuka. "It's…an Evangelion…"

"_What_?" Misato stared directly into his face. That was impossible. "Margin of error possibility on the MAGI's part?"

"0.02 percent…" Maya answered. The three returned their gazes to the screens in front of them. Misato stared at the floor for a second then looked at the screen. When the thing turned to look at Asuka, Misato spoke.

"Asuka…it's…" she paused. At first she thought of telling her it was unable to be analyzed. Then she remembered what she was just told. _0.02 percent_. "It's an Eva,"

"That thing…?" Asuka's response was short and to the point. She didn't believe it either. And who could? That thing bore nearly no similarities. Then it leaped. It pounced at her. Its mouth ripped open again and it brought an arm back, readying the sword-like thing it held.

"Asuka!" cried Shinji. Misato wanted to close her eyes, but she knew she had to be attentive to the battle. She was needed to give any kind of advice. Just when it seemed Asuka was going to be cut clean in half, she jumped. The Eva flew into the air over its opponent and managed to drive a dropkick into the creature's skull before it landed.

Misato silently thanked someone that Asuka had reacted. It was a rather well executed move. The pale Eva's head rested on its shoulders. It looked like Asuka had snapped its neck. But then the creature forced its neck into an upright position. Misato saw the cracks that Asuka no doubt heard as the creature repositioned its head. Finally, with a quick check to be sure of itself, the thing had fixed its broken neck.

"Regenerative abilities?!" Misato exclaimed. That was impossible. Ritsuko had theorized about that modification to Units 00 through 02, but dismissed it as implausible. Could there truly have been a way to create something that could regenerate its body and remove any injuries?

Yes, create. Misato had long dismissed the idea that this thing wasn't man made. The creatures that had been created in NERV itself were proof enough that making a living being was more then possible. Its resemblance to the Eva's was more then enough for her to believe it was. But the ability to heal itself was almost unreal. This was going to be one of the hardest fights Asuka had ever had.

"Commander?" Misato turned to try and ask Gendo about sending out Shinji, but he was gone. Where could he have gone? Especially in a battle this dangerous? She looked around briefly before confirming that he wasn't there.

"Misato!" Shinji started. "You have to let me go out there!" he pleaded.

"I can't…" Misato said softly, ignoring his protests. She couldn't afford to risk violating the commander's order when he could return at any moment. She couldn't send him out there. _At least not yet_, she thought, hoping that there would be no need for Shinji to have to help.

* * *

Gendo walked quickly through the dark halls of the lower levels of NERV. His shoes made a soft clacking sound on the hard floors. This was it. He was going to finally put his plan into action. He'd waited years for this. He'd wanted it more then anything. This was the time he could finally begin the Human Completion Project.

Gendo finally reached his destination and stopped abruptly. He stared at the doors labeled with red letters. He swiped a security card and the steel frame pulled the door away. Gendo walked into the darkness ahead of him without hesitating. He had to hurry. There was no way of telling how much time Asuka would buy for him.

The door slid shut behind him, exposing the words TERMINAL DOGMA to the empty hallway Gendo had come from. Rei was the essential tool in this operation. If she hadn't followed his instructions to wait here, everything would fail. He wouldn't have the time to find her and bring her back.

Something clanged behind him and Gendo turned to look. There was nothing but darkness behind him. He sighed, silently admitting his paranoia had built up as much as his excitement had. He felt for the handgun he had concealed near his belt. It was just a precaution, and an unnecessary one at that, but he had to be safe. If anyone tried to interrupt his work he would kill them.

Gendo rounded another corner and found himself staring into a long awaited sight. Rei was standing in front of the crucified giant with her back facing him. It was his dream becoming a reality. This was everything he'd ever hoped for. He got closer to Rei and the first child turned around.

No, not the first child. She was purely a tool. This creature in front of him was merely the medium of his plan. Rei stared blankly into his eyes. Her unclothed features were pale. Gendo looked into her eyes. He smiled and slid a hand into her stomach. It was a strange experience. An orange light surrounded his hand where it had slid into her gut. Rei was unharmed. This was what she was meant to do. This was why she was created.

The sound of guns being readied came from behind him. He froze. He didn't have to turn. He felt their presence. How he'd missed it all this time was a critical flaw. He retracted his hand from Rei and thought about going for his gun. Then he looked over his shoulder and saw how pointless it was. Five men in military fatigues had sub-machine guns pointed at him. The captain stood, being the only distinguishing feature from him and the others. All of them wore green helmets that covered nearly their entire face.

"Freeze," instructed the captain.

* * *

Asuka watched as the thing charged at her. She was frozen with fear. It was nearly impossible for her to think of anything except how she was about to be killed. Then her reflexes kicked in. At the last second, she jumped and spun around into a dropkick before landing. When she turned to view her handy work she saw she'd snapped its neck.

"Too easy," Asuka said. She was ready to call in to Central Dogma and report the news when the thing started to move again. "What?" she asked no one as the creature twitched. It straightened its neck with five sickening cracks, and then turned to face her. The thing healed its injuries. _The thing could freaking heal itself_.

The pale-Eva creature grabbed the Umbilical Cord extending from the back of Unit-02 and ripped it out. A small clock appeared in front of her informing her of the amount of time she had left to defeat this new enemy. Asuka stared blankly at first as the numbers dwindled down. Then her face curled into a grin.

"Five minutes is more then enough time to kill you," she said darkly. She pulled out her Prog-knife and charged at the creature holding the knife with one hand. As expected it blocked with its weapon. Asuka just kept smiling and brought down the Eva's other hand onto the thing's neck, breaking it again. "You keep regenerating," Asuka said as the creature started to repair its neck. "But what if I mess you up more then your abilities can repair?"

With a new idea in mind, she brought the Prog-knife across the gut of the creature, ripping its flesh apart all too easily. Asuka never let her grin leave her face as she brought the back leg of her Eva up to its side. She sent it flying across the city and straight into a few buildings.

Before it had a chance to react Asuka had made a leap for it, Prog-knife in hand. Before her weapon met its destination, the creature took a swing at her. Asuka hadn't even registered what happened at first. All she knew was that her abdomen hurt and she was airborne. She landed just shy of a skyscraper and struggled back to her feet.

Asuka looked forward and saw the creature's weapon flying toward her. She didn't think twice before raising her right hand and deploying her A.T. field. The weapon stopped, but didn't fall. Its momentum kept it hanging in the air, struggling to break through the golden shield protecting her.

"It's useless!" Asuka shouted with a grin. Then her smile was wiped off her face as the thing transformed. It twisted its shape into that of a two-pronged spear. Asuka recognized it as a gray version of the spear Ayanami had used to rescue her from the clutches of the angel that got into her head. Her eyes widened in terror as the weapon started to break through the field.

She didn't understand it. Nothing could break through this field from such a short range. It was impossible. It was-

The spear went flying through the shield. It tore through her unit's arm and plunged into the head of the Eva. It stopped before going all the way through and remained impaled in her Eva's skull. Asuka's unit hit the ground from the momentum of the attack as her internal clock struck zero and her Eva powered down.

* * *

Gendo looked over his shoulder at the team behind him. Their ready weapons could be fired at any time. The fact they gave him warning told him it wasn't their intent to kill him. "Why are you here?" Gendo asked.

"We were hired by SEELE to see to it that you tried nothing out of the agreement," informed the captain.

"You're being awfully informant, aren't you?" Gendo asked with a tone of suspicion.

"It was instructed that we were not to withhold any information, as a way of showing they have nothing to hide from you at this point," responded their commander.

"What a load of shit," Gendo muttered. He turned back to Rei. They might as well be ignored.

"Don't misunderstand," said the captain. "We were hired to stop any suspicious behavior by means of death,"

"So you plan to kill me?" asked Gendo. "I believe it's pretty obvious that what I'm doing is neither in the agreement or unsuspicious,"

"There's no need to shoot you if you return to Central Dogma," replied the commander of the sub-machine gun wielding group. Gendo paused for a few seconds to think. How far did SEELE go in these precautions?

"How many groups are there?" asked Gendo.

"Two. The other is circling the Evangelion loading bay in order to prevent the interference of either of the other pilots," Gendo smirked. Then he burst into an almost uncontrollable fit of laughter.

"This is beyond the point at which you can stop me," Gendo said. He reached his hand back into the stomach of Rei. "Now watch as everything SEELE stands for is brought to an abrupt end,"

This was it. They couldn't stop him. He was too far into his success to reach failure. He slid his hand up the inside of the tool in front of him. This was his means to access the giant; to reach Unit-01. Soon he'd be with her. With his wife. Then his hand stopped moving.

"What?" he asked. Rei's crimson eyes narrowed as she stared into Gendo's wide ones. "Rei, what are you doing?!" he asked despite what he knew. This could only happen if something wasn't right. The one thing he couldn't control. Rei was rejecting him.

"This isn't the Truth," Rei said calmly. She stepped backwards, forcing his hand out of her body. She said nothing more and turned her back to him. Gendo stared in horror.

"Rei, no!" he shouted. She stepped away from him, towards the giant crucified in front of them. "What Truth?!" The girl said nothing. She just kept walking away from him. What truth? _What Truth?!_

_Rei stood up from her seat. She was back on the stage in the spotlight. "This program is useless," she said calmly. "Please shutdown and let me go back to my home,"_

_Rei released something and then reached the hand of the Eva behind her to grab the long knife that protruded from behind her. The girl readied the Progknife and started to run towards unit-02._

"All those times…" Gendo muttered softly.

_Rei's crimson eyes narrowed slightly. All this did was raise her curiosity._

"You never had the intention of being used…" Gendo muttered to himself. Rei turned around and stared at him coldly.

"Your ignorance of the truth is quite irritating," Rei said. Gendo stared. Then he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter.

"Truth?!" he choked out between laughter. "_Truth_?!" He grabbed the gun and spun around to face SEELE's assault squad. "This is the _God Damned Truth_?!" He had no sooner pulled the trigger before he was being pierced by hundreds of bullets. The gun fire died down as he hit the ground, his body riddled with holes.

"All for the truth…" he muttered with strain. A pool of blood spilled out below him. He was on the ground, surrounded by a pool of his own blood, and he continued to laugh. Nothing too strong, just a chuckle whenever he managed it between the coughs of blood. His last thought before Gendo Ikari died was of his wife.

"Yui…"

* * *

The gunfire echoed through Central Dogma. Misato looked behind her at the sealed door and knew in her gut that Gendo wouldn't be coming back. The commander wouldn't be seeing anyone anytime soon. He wouldn't be able to enforce his commands.

"Asuka!" Shinji cried. Misato snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the screen in front of her.

"Jesus," she breathed, staring at the spear piercing Unit-02. The monitor also showed that Unit-02 had run out of power. Asuka had no way to defend herself. Misato nodded, agreeing with the thought that had filled her head as the main priority. "Shinji," she started, looking at the third-child. "We have to get you to Unit-01,"

Shinji nodded, and soon the pair was running through the halls towards the loading bay. "Misato?" Shinji asked as they ran. They rounded a corner before Misato responded.

"What?" she said hastily. Shinji answered just as quickly.

"Why are you going with me?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "What I do know is that something isn't right about all of this," Shinji clearly didn't understand but neither one was going to waste time trying to make him understand. They turned a sharp left and suddenly found themselves facing a man with a sub-machine gun.

"Shit!" Misato yelled as she pulled the two of them to the ground. Gun fire erupted above them. Misato had her gun out and was firing before she hit the ground. She took out one of his knee caps with two shots. The man screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

Misato stood and kicked the gun away from him. There was no need to kill him. He wouldn't be following them anytime soon. "Shinji, come on!" she shouted. He stood, shaking at the sight of the man's injury, but soon remembered what he was leaving to do. Asuka was in trouble.

The two left the area where the man kept screaming and got closer to the elevator. Misato counted four of them blocking their path. Before she was spotted she opened fire on a group of canisters she saw. She didn't know what they were, but some cans had a tendency to explode when fired upon. To her luck, they were just those cans.

The explosion was small; not enough to injure the men. But it was enough to create a smoke screen that she used to get Shinji to the elevator. She pushed the call button.

"What the hell's going on?!" called one of the guards. The others followed his example and cursed however they deemed appropriate. Misato repeatedly pressed the call button, still unnoticed in thanks to the remaining smoke.

After an eternity the doors slid open. Misato shoved Shinji inside the elevator and pressed down. When the gate started to close and she had hoped out of the elevator, Shinji panicked. He went towards the closing doors and tried to stick a hand between them to open them again.

Gunfire made him retract. Misato had fired a shot at the steel doors. He looked at her and knew he didn't have to ask the question in his head. Someone had started firing at the elevator and had hit Misato in the shoulder. She winced in pain but turned to Shinji.

"Just go save Asuka," Misato explained. "This is nothing for me," She smiled and held up the gun. "I'll take care here and meet you when you get back. Bye…Lil' Shin," She blew him a kiss that eerily reminded her of the photo she'd first sent him before he met her.

The doors sealed shut and Misato's view of Shinji was sealed off. She smiled to herself and wondered if she really could follow through with what she'd told him. Misato went to feel the necklace she always wore before remembering she'd thrown it in the elevator, hoping it would reach him.

"I know I've failed before, but please just once," Misato whispered as she cocked the gun. "Let me be a real guardian to him,"

* * *

Shinji sat in the corner of the elevator as it descended to the area where he could board his Eva. Misato had stayed to protect him. She told him to rescue Asuka, that she'd be fine. So then why did he have this horrible feeling of dread in his chest? He looked down at the floor of the elevator and saw something glimmer in the light.

He picked it up and saw it was Misato's necklace. She'd given it to him. Shinji stared at it for a few seconds. Then he slipped it on. He'd formed his resolve. He was going to rescue Asuka, and meet Misato just like she'd said. He stood, feeling confidence rise. He could do this. He was _going_ to do this.

In a matter of minutes he was in his Eva, awaiting the launch that Maya had promised. Unit-01 was flying upwards towards the city in a few short of seconds. He stood in the battle field, and saw something that made his heart race. Unit-02 was standing.

* * *

Rei turned back to the giant of Lilith. Behind her, Gendo had just been gunned down. Rei looked up and felt her feet lift up of the floor. Her whole body started levitating towards the crucified giant.

"Stop!" shouted the commander. "Stop or we'll shoot!"

Rei didn't stop.

The men opened fire on her. Bullets tore through her body, splattering pieces of flesh on the body of the giant as she continued to rise. Her blood started hitting Lilith in spurts. Its white skin was stained a dark red. Rei was aware of none of this. She just got closer to the chest of the giant.

"Keep firing!" shouted the captain. The rain of bullets didn't stop. Rei felt them pierce her organs, causing severe internal damage. Her heart hemorrhaged and blood erupted from her mouth. Still, Rei kept rising towards the chest of the creature.

She stopped in front of its heart, and stared upward towards the mask of Lilith. One of its eyes rolled on to her and the other six joined suit. Words weren't spoken, but were seemingly branded into her mind by the giant.

_**What is it you seek?**_

Rei didn't speak. She couldn't speak with all of her injuries. Instead she thought of what it was she really wanted. All of her thoughts came upon one image. Shinji Ikari. She closed her eyes.

_"I need you to tell me why you couldn't do it on the moment," she said. "Tell me," she was as emotionless as ever. Her crimson eyes stared directly into Shinji's eyes. He couldn't deal with this. He was going to… "Tell me," Rei said again._

_"Stop it!" yelled Shinji. "Just stop!" Tears were flowing down his face. Rei stared at him. _

_"Why are you crying?" asked the girl. Her white-blue hair shined in the white light above them. _

Rei felt pain surge through her body as the relentless gunfire continued to tare through her like paper. Whenever one of their guns ran out of ammo, they simply plugged another clip in.

_Rei moved upwards and locked her lips on Shinji's._

_**What is it you desire?**_

The giant's question moved one thought to the top of her mind.

_Rei looked into the water, staring at her reflection. "Shinji Ikari, what if I were to say I loved you?"_

_"What if I said, that I was in actuality…What if I was finding myself to be less of an individual then I had hoped?" Rei spoke calmly. "The second had grown close to you…and I think that I have those kinds of feelings in common with her," Shinji stood suddenly. She looked over to him._

_"Tell me Shinji Ikari," Rei spoke softly, knowing he was too far away to hear. "How would I know if that was love?"_

Rei opened her eyes and looked into those of Lilith. The gunfire had finally drawn to a halt. The eyes returned to their blank and empty stare straight forward when Rei blinked. One last thought from the giant was shared with her.

_**I understand**_

Rei closed her eyes and rested against Lilith's chest. Slowly, her body was drawn into the creature's chest. When Rei was gone and the yellow light had subsided from the absorption process, the giant seized. Its head twitched in practically every direction possible as it ripped its arms free from the bolts keeping it on its resting place.

The LCL in the surrounding pool rose in the design of a double helix. It wrapped itself around Lilith's body and began to change its shape. Slender, pale arms extended in place of the old muscular ones. The men below screamed as the new creature was born. Once all the LCL was gone, it stepped forward. It simply gazed down at the men and their screams had stopped. They had become nothing more then puddles of LCL.

The new being smiled and stared at the ceiling. As if knowing her desire, the body was gone. It had left for the surface. It had left for Shinji Ikari.

* * *

Pain. Intense, immeasurable, unbearable, mind shattering _pain_! Asuka held her head with one hand and the other was lying next to her. She felt nothing but intense pain erupting within her skull and right arm. The darkness inside the entry plug engulfed her, leaving her in a private hell of torturous pain.

Then a burning desire filled within her. She looked upwards with a gaze ugly and warped with pure rage. All she felt was hate. All she felt was the urge to kill. To kill the being that had done this to her. She ground her teeth together, biting on air with all of her might. Asuka raised her right arm and stared out in front of her, into the blue sky.

How she _hated_ it. How it _lied_ to her. All of it, everything, that creature deserved this pain. She would make it feel this. She would make it feel the hell it put her through. Who in the fiery depths of _hell_ did this thing think it was? She was the great Asuka Langley Soryu! This was her story! This was her life! This was her everything!

The arm of Unit-02 began to rise as she raised hers. The shattered remains of an arm began to lift toward the lying sky. Despite the fact the Eva had absolutely no battery left, the unit was responding to her. It was moving. Asuka screamed louder then she ever had before and the unit sprang back up on its feet. Asuka roared again as she ripped the spear out her head with her left arm and sent it flying back at the creature that had thrown it at her.

The weapon tore through the being, leaving a gaping hole in its chest. Blood poured out along with chunks of flesh as the being stumbled back a few paces. Before it could fall, Asuka had jumped up to it and shoved a fist into the open mouth of the being. The force of the punch ripped the top of its head clean off, causing a fountain of blood to pour over her unit.

Oh how she would make them pay. She would make them all pay.

* * *

Misato sat in front of the elevator. Her legs were sprawled out and her back was resting against the elevator door. She dropped the gun she was holding. The guards all around her were dead. Their bodies sprawled out in messes of their own blood. Misato was panting.

"At least…" she got out. She coughed up a small puddle of blood. "I could do one thing as a guardian for you,"

Misato stopped breathing. Her body fell to the side, and her cold, lifeless gaze fell upon the flickering fluorescent light above her.

* * *

"We're getting no response from the guard units!" roared the voice of SEELE 1. "Gendo can't do this to us! He's cheated us!"

"It's a simple matter," said the voice of SEELE 5. "We simply dispatch the rest of the Evangelion series and destroy his precious pilots,"

"Make it happen!" shouted SEELE 1. "SEELE will not be made to play the fool! Our Human Completion Plan shall follow through to the end! It is the law of the Dead Sea Scrolls!"

* * *

Asuka drove the open palm of Unit-02 into the distorted remains of the creature that had attacked her. She would show it a hell it couldn't imagine in its worst nightmares. She continued to mutilate the creature long beyond it had stopped moving. It didn't matter if it was dead. She would hurt it until its very existence was remembered as nothing more then a hell-filled world of pain.

Then she felt them circling above. Asuka turned and saw even more of the pale-Evangelion units circling over head. Three of them readied their weapons and threw them at her. They all twisted into the same spear shape as they hurtled towards her. Two of them penetrated Unit-02's torso, but Asuka turned in time to catch the third. She immediately returned it to the sender.

One of the flying units that she hit fell to the ground with a spear protruding from its chest. Asuka leaped over to it and ripped the spear out of its body. She began plunging it repeatedly into the torso of the Eva on the ground. "Die, die, die, die!!" she screamed. All of them deserved to suffer. All of them deserved to feel the excruciating pain of death. If they regenerated, then all the better. It would just be another chance for her to make them feel her rage.

The other units landed and started racing towards her. Asuka turned Unit-02 around and stared with murderous intent at the remaining targets. She dropped the spear and charged towards them. Asuka performed a flying kick into the face of the closest creature. She relished the feel of its face crushing in.

All of it was wrong. The pain she'd been dealt, the excruciating beyond comparison pain was just the thing that tipped the scale. The problems with Shinji weren't gone. Her mother's death, everyone hating her, the torment of Arial, the endless dance of her subconscious mind with the darkness of her own nightmares. It was the darkness. That God forsaken darkness!

"What did I do to deserve it, you ask?" Asuka said as she rested the foot of Unit-02 on the creature's neck. "NOT A FUCKING THING!" Asuka drove the foot of her Eva down on the neck of the creature and almost laughed as the inner contents of its throat, including teeth, were forced out of its mouth in a bloody pile of vomit.

Asuka turned towards the next closest Evangelion and shoved Unit-02's hand into its mouth. "Mother…" she started as she grabbed something inside and ripped it out, leaving it on the ground in a puddle of blood. "Rei…" Asuka continued as she delivered a roundhouse kick to the creature's stomach, forcing more internal organs out of its mouth before sending it flying across the city.

Asuka turned toward another creature. "And…" she began as she started running towards it. "SHINJI!" she screamed as she grabbed the being's head and ripped it away from its body. "God-," She grabbed one of the creature's weapons and sliced another clean in half. "Damned-," Asuka plunged the weapon into the skull of another unit and pulled down as hard as she could, slicing it vertically. She jabbed the weapon into its remains with a muffled _squelch_. "Shinji!" she roared as she grabbed another Evangelion by the head and started smashing it repeatedly into the ground until nothing remained.

"Everything was you fault, you sick bastard!" Asuka roared as she charged at one of the other units. Their regeneration ability allowed her to have an endless amount of victims to attack. She forced Unit-02's hand into the Evangelion's chest and grabbed the spinal column in the back. Asuka swung the creature into another one, feeling the spinal column snap in mid-swing.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" she roared as drove her Eva's foot into one of the creature's chests. She had to force the monster off of her unit's leg. "You're not the innocent one in this world, you dirty little asshole!" Only one enemy Eva was left standing.

Asuka wasn't sure where she'd found it, but she was charging at the remaining creature with her Prog-knife. She plunged it into the thing's head, and when it fell to the ground, she jumped on top of it. She began carving the creature beneath her with the knife. "Shinji, you sick," she drove the knife in the creature's heart. "Dirty," she dragged the knife across the creature's chest in an 'x' shape. "Bastard!"

At this point, Evangelion Unit-02 was colored a deep, crimson red. Every part of it was soaked in the enemy's blood. The battle field was filled with the crushed remains of the other Eva's organs. Tatters of flesh littered the city. Asuka drove the knife in once more and stopped, panting for breath. She stood after a five second break looking around for more targets.

"Asuka…please stop,"

Asuka looked over towards the city. Shinji was standing there in Unit-01. But if he was within range, then that meant he'd heard everything she'd said. Every little word she'd screamed in her blind rage had been heard by not only him, but Central Dogma as well.

"I'm sorry…" he was crying. He was trying to piece words together through the onslaught of tears. "Just please! Asuka! Stop! They're all dead!"

"No…" Asuka muttered quietly. In the background, she heard Maya throwing up from the graphic scene. It was all transmitted. Her unit had transmitted every single word she'd screamed. "Don't do this…" Asuka said softly.

"Just please stop this…" She'd never heard him crying this badly.

"Don't do this!" Asuka yelled.

"I know I'm screwed up," Shinji said softly. "But please just stop this…"

"Don't you do this!" Asuka turned directly towards Shinji and pointed. "Don't start doing this!" her voice cracked when she tried to say 'doing'. She was starting to cry. Asuka looked around the field at the carnage. "I…" she looked at the bloody remains of at least three of them before she slammed her eyes shut. "I didn't…" Asuka was crying nearly as hard as Shinji.

How could she have done this? How could she have caused this graphic of a display? She looked at her own hands. This was her. This was everything she kept inside. This was-

Asuka stopped crying as she felt pain build up inside her. She looked down and saw the cause. Five different spears of the creatures had been thrown through her Evangelion. Asuka couldn't even speak from the pain she felt coursing threw her body.

Unit-02 powered down and fell on its back. All of the Evangelion creatures were standing again. They had completely regenerated while she was listening to Shinji. All of them had stood and readied their weapons while she was staring at her own hands. Unit-02 had collapsed.

Asuka grabbed both controls and started moving them back in forth in a futile effort to make the unit move. Then they attacked. All of the creatures flew up in the air momentarily and landed on top of her. Their beak like mouths started tearing away strips of Unit-02's armor.

It felt like they were ripping her skin off. Asuka grabbed her abdomen with one hand and her head with the other. She'd thought what she felt before was pain? This was beyond compare. After majority of the armor was gone they began ripping through the insides of the creature.

Every one of her organs burned in fiery pain with each bite. She felt her entire body being ripped away piece by piece. Asuka couldn't even scream. None a single part of her responded the way her mind was telling it to. No, that was the problem. Her mind wasn't telling it to do anything. Her mind was telling her that her body was being ripped to shreds.

Finally they flew off and ripped the spears out of her one by one. Finally the pain was gone. Asuka did nothing more then sit there, staring into the setting sun. Twilight had come at last. The orange and pink sky had no other words to describe it then 'beautiful'. Asuka stared with a dull gaze into the sun as it disappeared behind the curve of the earth.

Twilight. The last time she'd seen this was with Shinji. The last time she'd seen this time she was finally starting to think they could be something more. If only she'd known what this time would mean the next time. The dying hate she would've felt. A few clouds drifted by, completely unaware of the scene that was occurring below them.

She'd been such an idiot. After watching Hikari and Toji, why hadn't she tried to follow that example? Why hadn't she just tried to make things work? Instead, she just woke up from her coma and accepted Shinji. They'd both just indiscriminately accepted each other at that time. Neither one had any kind of feelings of dislike remaining about the other.

At least she'd thought. How naïve she'd been. Who was she to think like that? Who was she to think of being happy? She didn't deserve that. And she didn't deserve Shinji. At that time she thought he was so much lower then her. But who was she to say that? Who was she to say that he was so much worse then a girl who refuses to admit her own feelings? At least Shinji could do that much.

Asuka raised and arm toward the twilight, and Unit-02 copied her. The creatures above her all readied spears and threw them down. Asuka didn't writhe in pain. She smiled. She actually smiled at the setting sun. Asuka Langley Soryu closed her eyes in that twilight, and the arm of Unit-02 dropped to the ground.

* * *

Shinji stared in horror as the creatures threw their weapons down on Asuka. The arm of the unit collapsed to the ground and didn't rise again.

"Asuka!" screamed Shinji, drawing out her name for as long as he could breathe. "Asuka," he said more quietly as tears fell down his cheek. He heard one of the Techs talking in Central Dogma.

"Unit-02's life signs…" he began. "Are gone," Shinji refused to believe what he'd heard. It wasn't right. It _couldn't_ be right. He was going to save her. He was going to take her back to NERV where they'd meet up with Misato. They were all going to go back and have a steak dinner. Everyone was going to be happy.

_**Is that what you want?**_

The booming voice came from nowhere. Gradually, the source appeared far away. A giant version of Rei seemed to appear from behind a gathering of trees as if she'd been lying on the ground, waiting for the right moment to sit up. Two giant wings sprouted from her back as she turned to face Shinji.

Shinji finally got a rough idea of how big she was. Unit-01 was about the size of her little finger. She leaned towards him slightly and smiled. The Evangelion units that had destroyed Asuka's Unit-02 circled around her head and seemed to form some type of symbol. Glowing intertwined lights appeared between them.

Rei lifted her hand towards the sky. In seconds, the original Lance of Longinus appeared in her hand. She held it tenderly then smiled yet again at Shinji. She thrust it forward in the chest of Unit-01. Shinji screamed at the pain, and then realized it was only temporary. A shining light appeared in front of him that seemed to cut him off from the rest of the world. Rei spoke again.

"Welcome to God's Garden,"

* * *

And that was officially the fic's longest chapter to date. We're officially on the three-part finale of the story. I know a lot of stuff happened in this chapter, so how can I really address it? Well, whether I get it right or not, I hope you guys liked chapter thirteen. Hm…that turned out kind of weird. Three major characters die on chapter 13.

For those of you who might have grown to think otherwise, I do _not_ hate Asuka. She's actually one of my favorite characters in the series. I just figured I had to say that since the fic might have led a lot of people to believe otherwise. Wonder if it's all going to turn out to be a happy ending?

Three chapters remain.

Generic Friend: Hey, did you ever notice that your favorite character is always somewhat screwed in your fics?

Me: (checks) Dear God you're right! (thinks about Bleach) RUN KISUKE! RUN!!


	14. For only if you stay with me

Wow…not a single review. Was it cuz the chapter was nearly identical to the movie? The point in that was to emphasize that certain events were unavoidable, but I guess that wasn't one of your favorite chapters?

Oh well. What's done is done. Sorry if anyone felt disappointed with the last chapter. All I can say now is that the similarities between the fic and the movie are more or less over. This is where it spreads in its own direction during its three part finale. With any luck you'll like this chapter better. So having said that, please enjoy chapter fourteen!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Evangelion.

* * *

Asuka smiled as the sun faded away into the orange sky. Twilight. Twilight had finally come. The blue sky was gone, and Asuka's rage died away into bitter acceptance. The show was over. The spotlight finally left her, leaving her alone on a dark stage standing in front of an empty theater.

The flying creatures above her threw all of their weapons down as one. Asuka's smile faded as her eyes closed. The arm of Unit-02 that had been reaching towards the setting sun fell to the ground.

Shinji stared in horror at the mutilated remains of Asuka's Evangelion. "Unit-02's life signs…" began someone from NERV. "Are gone." No. That wasn't right. Asuka was fine. Any second she was going to stand and deliver the finishing blow. Then they'd both go back to NERV and meet up with Misato. They were going to go out for a steak dinner to celebrate their recent victory. That's how it was supposed to go. That's what it was supposed to be.

_**Is that what you want?**_

A giant figure suddenly rose from the ground. Rei's enlarged body appeared before him. Even standing in Unit-01, Shinji wasn't even was tall as her little finger. She smiled widely and held out an arm. The Evangelion that had destroyed Unit-02 circled around Rei, shining lights running between them like wires.

Something zoomed down from the skies above. As it rocketed towards the earth, Rei closed the hand she had raised and caught it. It was the true Lance of Longinus. She threw it fiercely into the chest of Unit-01. Shinji screamed as everything he saw burned into a bright white void. Rei's voice echoed throughout the space.

"Welcome to God's Garden,"

* * *

Episode 14: For only if you stay with me…

* * *

"Shinji, are you ready?"

Shinji opened his eyes. He was in his room. What happened? He was just standing before that giant. The one that looked like Rei. He remembered being stabbed with that lance, and then he was here. His door slid open. A very irritated Asuka was standing in front of him.

"I asked if you're ready yet," she repeated. "We're going to be late,"

Shinji's eyes widened. She was alive. Asuka was fine. He smiled and nodded, noting that he was in his school uniform already. "Let's go," he said at last. Asuka rolled her eyes and walked over to the front door. She slid her shoes on then walked out of the house, leaving the front door open. Shinji grabbed his bag and ran outside to join her.

They'd been walking for only a few minutes when they caught sight of Rei walking up ahead of them. She was reading a book and walking towards their school. "Rei's here?" Shinji asked. Asuka turned to look at him.

"Of course she's here," said the red head. "Why wouldn't she be?" Shinji shook his head.

"Never mind," he replied and kept walking towards school. They walked a few more meters when Shinji noted he'd pulled a lead over both of them. He turned to wait for the two to catch up but found himself staring at an empty street. He turned around once again to see if they'd somehow gotten ahead of him and saw Misato.

The lieutenant was bleeding badly from an unseen head wound. She was glaring at Shinji as if he'd done something seriously wrong. Her lips curled into a cruel smile.

"Tell me," she began. "Are you having fun yet?"

Shinji slammed his eyes shut, trying to convince himself that he hadn't just seen her standing there like that. When he opened them he saw Rei's giant head staring at him through Unit-01. He looked down and figured out he was in the sky, thousands of feet above the ground. He tried to move the Eva he was in, but nothing happened. Rei smiled at him.

"Why are you trying to run?" she asked. "There's nothing left down there,"

"Asuka could still be alive!" he shouted as an answer. "I have to get to her!" The white Evangelion creatures moved out from behind Rei. They circled dangerously around him.

"If you want to hide," Rei whispered. "Sit in a dark room. If you want to fight, stand up on your own,"

"What are you talking about?!" screamed Shinji. "Just let me down!"

"Everything you loved about that world…" Rei said sullenly. "Has faded into the darkness you made," Shinji's eyes widened. "They're all dead," Images seemed to brand themselves into Shinji's mind. Misato was lying face down on the blood-streaked floor she'd left him. Asuka had stopped breathing inside her disfigured Evangelion. Gendo's hole-ridden body had grown cold on the ground of Terminal Dogma.

Shinji dropped his face into his hands. That wasn't possible. They all couldn't have died like that. Not in those places. Not at this time. It couldn't happen.

"And yet it did," murmured Rei as if reading his mind. "Everything you found beautiful has been ripped away, leaving nothing more then a scar in your world," Shinji's eyes started to water. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. If all of that was true, then there was absolutely nothing left for him.

Rei raised two gigantic hands in front of Shinji. She cupped them as if trying to retain water. Asuka's body dissolved into a small circle of LCL. Misato and Gendo followed suit. Soon a spinning orb of the liquid had gathered into Rei's hands. Shinji felt a hand fall onto his shoulder. Kaworu was in the entry plug with him. He stared at the sight of Rei ahead of them with a hint of amusement.

"Everything is here, Shinji," breathed the silver-haired angel. "Everything is within your hands. If you want to change it…" he stared into Shinji's eyes. "Then stand up. Let the world be erased, and fill it with your own ambitions," Shinji looked toward the spinning LCL gathered in Rei's hands. Shinji closed his eyes and nodded.

The liquid orb Rei held shattered as though it were made of glass. White light erupted from it. The Evangelion creatures flew behind Shinji in what seemed to be a pre-determined arrangement. The light continued to grow as the Eva's behind him joined in its warmth. Rei smiled.

"Let it all…" started Kaworu before he faded away into the light as it infiltrated Unit-01. "…begin here,"

* * *

Fuyutsuki stared at the sight in front of him. The light had fallen from the sky and seemed to be absorbing, no, _erasing_ everything it came into contact with. Was this Gendo's plan? Was it his goal to have everything erased?

No. Something had gone wrong. Gendo's goal was to move humanity to the next stage in evolution; to bring man kind a giant step closer to God. If this was his goal, then how had it evolved into this? Why had Unit-01 and that giant disappeared with the light they had made?

It didn't matter. Any kind of rational thought would be over shortly anyway. That light would envelope everything. This had been the eminent future that Gendo and SEELE had indirectly sought after together. This was Third Impact.

Fuyutsuki closed his eyes as screams erupted from the three who operated the MAGI. They desperately tried to find some sort of way to stop the light. It was a futile effort, really. Soon the light came down from the ceiling above them. It swallowed up the three as they finally surrendered to its powers.

The man who had served under Gendo for so many years wasn't afraid, even as the light started to envelope him. This was the true fate of mankind. What would finally occur as the result, he had no clue. He didn't have to. All Fuyutsuki had to do was accept the warmth the light was offering, and fade away as it circled around NERV.

* * *

"This is it!" cried the voice of SEELE 1. The light enveloped the room and soon each and every member had joined it in disappearing. "Rejoice, gentlemen, and bask in the glory of the prophesized Third Impact!"

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes and found he was sitting on a swing at a park. He kicked his legs and started to swing.

_Shinji turned and looked at Asuka. He walked towards her. "Yeah?" he asked. By now the classroom was empty. Even Rei had left. Asuka stood up and leaned against the desk nonchalantly. _

_"I…um…" Shinji saw her turning red as she tried to speak. What was she trying to say? If it was something even she had trouble saying, then it might not be good news. Her mouth opened wide and formed words that Shinji didn't get. _

_He awkwardly laughed to himself a little. "What?" he asked seeing as he had no idea what she was saying. Asuka opened her mouth again to speak. Her voice was faint and barely audible._

_"I think…I…" Asuka stopped. Shinji felt himself starting to blush a little. He thought he knew what she was going to say. He silently urged Asuka to go on._

Shinji started to gain momentum on the swing. He had started to try and go higher, to reach the sky.

_Asuka started to speak again, when the classroom door burst open. _

_Rei was standing there with the doorknob still clutched in her hands. She stared at them both with a slight hint of urgency in her gaze. "We need to go to NERV," she said. He voice sounded the same as always, but the seriousness of her stare made Shinji start walking towards her._

Shinji's speed dropped as did his altitude. The sun glistened behind him as an orange sky glittered all around him.

_"Asuka?" Shinji approached cautiously. To his surprise, Asuka didn't get up and leave. She just sat there. "Are you…" he searched around his head for something to sat. "…okay?" _

_"I'm fine," Asuka lied. "Just run down to the hospital. I know how much you want to check on Ayanami," _

_"No!" Shinji exclaimed louder then he would've preferred. "Asuka, listen. What you saw…" he was cut off by Asuka._

_"I know what I saw!" she yelled. "You and Ayanami have been getting closer ever since I've known you," _

_"No," Shinji said. "She's just…" He couldn't think of what to say. What could he say? This was awkward on more levels then one, especially combined with how he was feeling._

Shinji had nearly become motionless on the swing.

_Shinji opened the door to the room where they'd found Ritsuko's computer. After school he'd told Asuka he had to run to the store for a few things for Misato. She seemed to buy it, or at least didn't care. Either way, he should've been able to at least look at the program._

_"This tube and the system it's linked to was used to create a host body for a system of DNA patterns the MAGI had saved from analyzing the Angels,"_

_He needed what the computer had stored on the last angel. He'd need information. Shinji typed a few commands and was disappointed to find he had practically no clue what he was doing. He clicked around a few times trying to get some kind of understanding._

_He eventually found himself inside some system. There were charts and graphs that frequently showed two different lines. They were practically the same. His eyes glanced across the word 'Angel'. This was it. These were the charts he needed. Now if he could just find a specific one. _

_He scrolled through the page and clicked on links to other sections of the database. He was blindly running through the system, trying to find something with no clue where it might actually be. He clicked several times in a row and he found a file labeled 'NAGISA'._

Shinji kicked off the ground and started swinging again.

_A single red firework broke into the still night air. As the glowing sparks fell silently from the sky stars started to appear behind it. The sun had set and the full moon had taken its place. The night sky light up with an eruption of fireworks and stars. Asuka just watched the spectacular sight in silent amazement before she felt a hand on top of hers. She looked down at her hand to see Shinji's pale hand on top of hers._

_Asuka couldn't tell if Shinji's face was red from the fireworks or the bold move he had just taken. This was so much more then she'd ever seen him do._

Shinji felt that if he'd gone any higher on the swing he'd go over the bar. IT was impossible, sure, but it had gotten to the point where it felt like he was free falling whenever he went back down.

_"Don't leave!" she screamed. "Please don't leave me alone anymore!" her voice quieted. "I…Shinji…I need you,"_

_There was a long moment of silence before Shinji simply said, "I'm sorry," and turned to leave. He closed the door. Asuka collapsed to her knees as her chest exploded with one final burst of pain. Then she just went numb. Asuka was alone. She was completely alone, and not even the man she loved would stay with her anymore._

The wind started to blow. The swing swayed as he recklessly forced himself to go higher.

_The machinery behind him started to buzz. Shinji felt his anticipation rising. At the same time his anxiety was struggling to find something wrong with what he'd done. He tried to convince himself that there was nothing. But then his expression fell. Something told him that there was something wrong. And he suddenly realized what it was._

_The information he was searching for, the person he was searching for, wouldn't be under Nagisa, Kaworu. That would be his school information, his height, that general information. Anything that identified him, any piece of information that might have contained his personality, his actions, or who he really was, would have been analyzed under the last angel. _

_Shinji tried to stop the program. He turned to the computer and tried to click on anything he could. But the sound of glass shattering behind him told Shinji that he was too late. A figure stepped forward. It looked like a man. He appeared to be in his late teens and had short black hair. He walked forward a few steps and reached out a hand. The fingertips started to drip away like a melting snowman. _

_Shinji screamed as the person that had walked out of the tube investigated his dripping fingers. He clutched his fingers and looked at Shinji. His expression crossed confusion with rage. Shinji scrambled towards the door. How could he think he could do this? After reading Ritsuko's journal, after reading that even that genius had failed in her first attempt, why would he try?_

In one final attempt to reach the sky in a swing, Shinji slipped off the swing. He fell to the ground and landed face first on the pavement. It hurt. He vaguely registered the blood leaking from his nose when he found himself on a stage. An audience screamed and applauded.

Shinji looked to his right and saw Asuka bowing in front of the crowd. Everyone was clapping for her. Asuka bowed once more, and without rising turned to Shinji. It seemed she just noticed him. The red-head did little more then notice him before she screamed.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she demanded. "This isn't about you anymore! Just go the hell away!"

"Asuka…" Shinji started. "What's happening? Please…I don't want to be alone here…"

"Too frigging bad!" Asuka shouted. "I'm here alone, so what does it matter if you want to be here with me? I don't want you here,"

"But-!" the second child interrupted him with a shout.

"Shut up!" she glared evilly at him. "Why would you want to be here _now_? After all…" her eyes narrowed. "You're the one who left me alone first," He walked over to her.

"Asuka…" he tried to say something that would calm her down, something that would make her believe he wanted to be with her.

"Get away, you freaking coward!" She stood, looking down at him. "You disgust me," She pushed him with unnatural strength. Shinji stumbled backwards a few paces before falling off the stage. He landed on his back in front of a member of the audience. It was Rei in the seat. She looked down at him with her crimson eyes.

"This is the light," she whispered so only he could hear. Asuka had begun bowing in front of the crowd once more. "This is the world you chose. Now decide the fate of everyone in it,"

Shinji's eyes widened in shock. When he looked up he saw an endless gray sky. He stood and discovered he was waist deep in a dark pool of water. In front of him stood a body. It had no defining features. The thing leaned towards him and struggled to rip open a mouth.

"Tell me," it said in a voice that was neither male nor female. "Who would you choose? Me?" when the thing said 'me' is face and voice melded into that of Asuka Langley Soryu. She leaned towards him for a kiss, but Shinji didn't go towards her.

"Then would you choose me?" The face warped once more into that of Rei Ayanami. "Is this more suitable for you?" When Shinji took a step back Rei spoke again. "What if I told you I loved you?" she asked.

"Or what if you'd said you loved me?" Shinji turned around and saw Asuka standing behind him. "Would you stand true to your claim?"

"Or would you abandon everything for a sliver of hope?" Rei said bitterly. "Would you leave this world if it meant you had a choice to have this person?" Blackness enveloped the scene and Kaworu stood before him. The last angel stretched out a hand to him.

"Do you want to escape?" asked Kaworu. Shinji smiled in spite of himself. He went to grab Kaworu's hand when he was shoved from behind. He was back in the water. Asuka was staring at him with hate in her eyes.

"Do you think it'd be that easy?!" Shinji backed away until he came up against a solid wall. He turned and saw he was in front of a brick wall. He turned and learned his new location was that of a back ally in a big city. Asuka approached him wearing her school uniform. "Do you think it's so easy to run to your own dreams?! Do you think it's right to try and save yourself while everyone else drowns?! Why kind of pathetic man are you?!"

"Stop it!" Shinji shouted back. "I just want to leave! I don't care what happens to you!" He stopped suddenly as he realized what he was saying. Asuka stood in front of him with a look of defiance. Then it melted away into a blank stare. Asuka looked at the ground. A few tears escaped her before she broke apart into thousands of tiny pieces.

"Asuka!" screamed Shinji. He ran toward where she had been when a cool voice echoed behind him.

"Forget her," Kaworu said. "She obviously isn't trying to be with you. If she was, then would it have been so easy for her to fall apart?" Shinji was silent for a few seconds. "It's her own fault,"

"No. It's mine," Shinji corrected. Kaworu appeared surprised by his sudden defiance. Kaworu narrowed his eyes and stared.

"So what's it going to be?" he asked. "Are you leaving this place? Are you giving in?"

"How could I leave when Asuka is still here?" he asked.

"So your saying that you're useless?" Kaworu snarled. Shinji stared in shocked confusion. "You're the one that drove her away. You're the one that covered her heart with darkness. You're the one that made her depend on you, only to rip yourself away at the last second.

"How do you think she became so unstable? Do you think she broke down from her own weakness before she met you?" Kaworu asked coldly. "You forced yourself closer to her, making her emotional status dependent on you. In a sense you drove yourself into her heart.

"Then, right when she was on the verge of collapse, you were her saving light," Shinji's eyes widened as he remembered what Asuka had said in the kitchen the night before she collapsed.

_Don't leave!" she screamed. "Please don't leave me alone anymore!" her voice quieted. "I…Shinji…I need you,"_

"You ripped yourself out, leaving a hole in her heart that overcame her," Kaworu continued to speak. "You failed in your purpose of saving her. It's your own fault that anyone is here other then you. In that sense, you're completely useless."

Shinji had seemingly lost the ability to speak. He stood almost completely still, thinking at everything Kaworu had said. He collapsed to the ground. He sat there for a while before Ayanami appeared before him. He was now in the lounge at NERV.

"Ikari, do you understand?" Rei asked. "This is Third impact," Several smaller versions of Rei appeared by his side, each echoing the last word she had said.

"Impact,"

"Impact,"

Shinji remained motionless. Rei leaned towards him and stared into his eyes. "You were never meant to be involved," Rei informed him. "It wasn't your place to be here,"

"Where is here?!" Shinji finally screamed. Tears had started down his face. "I don't…" he calmed down a little, and listened to what Rei spoke next.

"This was originally the inevitable collision of two party's goals in manipulating man kind," Rei spoke softly.

"Manipulating," echoed the smaller Rei's.

"But…" Rei looked at the floor. "My own feelings took over my actions, and now you're involved,"

"Feelings," echoed the smaller Rei's.

"Ikari, you're the one here now," Rei said. "You're the one in the Truth,"

"I don't care!" Shinji suddenly screamed. "I don't want any of this! I don't want it to be my fault! I don't want everything to come down to me! I'm completely useless…everything should just _die_,"

"If that is your desire, then it's inevitability," came a female voice from behind him. "Do you truly wish the world to end?" Shinji turned to face Ritsuko. "The being that is Rei served as a medium for you to come to this place. If you want the world to become nothing, then it will be the inescapable future awaiting everything,"

"Why shouldn't it be?" Shinji muttered. "Nothing is worth saving,"

"You keep saying that and you'll never get anywhere," Asuka growled. She stood over Shinji, leaning towards him. "Are you sure you want this to go away?" Asuka got closer to him. "If you want, I could kiss you,"

Shinji's face flared. "What are you saying?" he asked quietly.

"I'm saying we could be more," Asuka suggested. "We could be like this," She wrapped her arms around his neck and her forehead brushed against his. Then his vision flickered. She was across the room holding her arm. She stared, as if waiting for him to say something more.

Then Shinji seemed to lose his connection with what was happening. His body seemed to disappear and he watched images flash through him. Ideas, incomplete thoughts, and feelings all rushed through his head in a giant blur.

Asuka stared at him from Misato's apartment.

_Life_

Rei stood behind him in her plug suit and covered in bandages.

_Death_

_Is everything worth it?_

A container of LCL bubbled and foamed violently.

_Do you want to save this place? This world? These people, these things?_

Kaworu extended a hand once more to him. Shinji grabbed it and started to stand.

_The angels_

_What if everything in the world-_

Shinji slid puzzle pieces across a board, trying to find the solution.

_Was just simply a game? What if everything was connected by mere threads, and just one cut could leave you alone?_

Shinji slid in piece after piece, trying to uncover the face of the person it was trying to show him.

_Who is it you want?_

Misato, Rei, and Asuka flashed by him in a blur.

_What do you desire?_

"It was you're fault. You're the darkness covering this place, covering her heart. What is it you truly want if you can so callously crush those you supposedly care about? Is this world everything you want it to be?"

Rei grabbed one of his arms and Asuka grabbed the other. Both girls pulled with all of their might. Shinji watched himself being fought over by the two and almost laughed. He wasn't worth that much.

"Why would you put yourself-

_Life_

-down like that?" Asuka demanded. Then her face contorted into one of sorrow.

"You were-

_Death_

-supposed to stay…" Asuka grabbed her head and screamed. "It hurts…it hurts! Shinji! Please!"

"Want to go?" asked Kaworu.

_Do you learn?_

"If you want to hide something…" Rei began as darkness enveloped Shinji. "You put it in the dark,"

Darkness covered everything until Shinji was sitting in complete and total emptiness. It wasn't just on the outside. It was inside him, too. He felt completely empty, alone, and desperately tried to find something he could cling on to. Where was his ray of light? Where was his hope for everything?

Shinji opened his eyes. He was sitting on a stool parallel to the edge of the stage it was positioned on. The audience broke into deafening applause as he appeared in front of them. He looked forward and saw a giant wheel of some sort. It looked like the type used in casinos and game shows that are used to determine what a person's prize would be.

Rei stood in front of it. She was wearing a white one-piece similar to her swim suit. She had a black overcoat on over that. It was the kind a magician might where. Two long tail flaps blew in a non-existent breeze. Perched on top of her head was a black top hat with a feather sticking out of the side.

"This wheel will spin, and when it stops," Rei began explaining. "It will show everyone your choice. What you choose to do with everything and everyone," Rei gripped it with two hands and spun with little effort. The wheel spun quickly. The stopper above it clicked by the metal brackets on the wheel's edge, slowing it to a halt. Finally, the wheel stopped over a strip of color and the screen above it displayed what Shinji had truly felt.

* * *

* * *

The first part of the finale has concluded. Next chapter should be up shortly, and I plan to have the final chapter up within two weeks. Hope you all enjoyed that chapter a lot more then the last one, and I would greatly appreciate some reviews.

Thanks for reading, and hope to see you all shortly! Please review on your way out.


	15. together through my dreams

Thanks for all the reviews! I appreciate everyone taking the time to write them. The final chapter is probably going to be up within the next week. As for an epilogue, if one does occur, then it'll be at the end of the final chapter, after the ending. Actually, I'm kind of struggling to pull out a good ending. I have everything up to the finale all set, but as for the finisher itself…well…we'll see how that one works out when we get to it. I hope you'll like the final result!

Having said all that, there's nothing left to do but say I hope you enjoy chapter 15.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, or its characters.

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes. He was sitting on a stool parallel to the edge of the stage it was positioned on. The audience broke into deafening applause as he appeared in front of them. He looked forward and saw a giant wheel of some sort. It looked like the type used in casinos and game shows that are used to determine what a person's prize would be. 

Rei stood in front of it. She was wearing a white one-piece similar to her swim suit. She had a black overcoat on over that. It was the kind a magician might where. Two long tail flaps blew in a non-existent breeze. Perched on top of her head was a black top hat with a feather sticking out of the side.

"This wheel will spin, and when it stops," Rei began explaining. "It will show everyone your choice. What you choose to do with everything and everyone," Rei gripped it with two hands and spun with little effort. The wheel spun quickly. The stopper above it clicked by the metal brackets on the wheel's edge, slowing it to a halt. Finally, the wheel stopped over a strip of color and the screen above it displayed what Shinji had truly felt.

I WANT TO DIE

* * *

Episode 15: …together through my dreams…

* * *

"You're gonna be late!" shouted a voice from the kitchen. Shinji shot up in bed. This was Misato's apartment. He recalled what Rei had told him the first time he saw her in that world. 

_"This is the light," she whispered so only he could hear. "This is the world you chose. Now decide the fate of everyone in it,"_

Had he chosen to go to Misato's apartment? Was that what the wheel had been about? Shinji shook his head, trying to accept where he was. He stood up and walked out into the Kitchen. Misato was sitting at the table, holding a beer. She looked like she'd just woken up herself.

"Where's Asuka?" Shinji ventured. Misato gave him a puzzled look.

"I'd imagine she's at school by now," Misato said, glancing at the clock. She continued to stare at him as if she didn't understand what had happened. Shinji nodded and charged out the front door. He had to figure out what was going on. He practically charged through the front door of his classroom.

Shinji glanced around frantically. No sign of Asuka. Shinji sighed and sat down at his usual desk. Toji walked right over, as expected. "What's up?" he asked. When Shinji didn't say anything, he repeated himself.

"Huh?" Shinji ripped himself out of his thoughts. "Oh, nothing really," Toji just sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "You're not your usual self,"

"Oh, really?" Shinji asked honestly. "Nothing's really wrong," Toji was about to argue when Shinji shot up out of his seat. His pupils shrank at the person who walked into the classroom. He ran over and gripped her by the shoulders, staring into the crimson eyes of Rei. There was silence for a few seconds before she spoke.

"Is something the matter, Ikari?" She spoke in the same emotionless voice as ever.

"What's going on? What happened to the light?" Shinji demanded. His grip tightened on her shoulders. Rei let out a small gasp.

"You're hurting me," she said calmly. Shinji released Rei's shoulders. Shinji stood still, staring at the floor. Rei returned her gaze to the book she had been holding and walked to her seat. A few people came into the classroom, but Shinji just kept staring at the floor.

When he looked up, still confused as to what was going on, he saw someone out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at a red-head having a vivid conversation with Hikari. He could do little more then stare at her. Toji walked up to Shinji.

"What's goin' on, man?" he asked. "Something's definitely up with you," Shinji didn't even respond this time. He just stumbled over to the girl his eyes couldn't be torn away from. He approached her and softly spoke her name to get her attention.

"Asuka?" he asked. "Is that you?" The red-head turned around. When she saw Shinji nothing flashed across her face but disgust.

"I thought I told you not to talk to me outside of NERV," Asuka said darkly. Shinji stared back at her in complete shock.

"What?" It was the only word he could manage to get out. "Asuka, we live together," That was one of the few things he could say to justify why it wouldn't make since for her to have said that. Asuka tried, rather poorly, to stifle a laugh.

"What?" she asked through chuckles. "Why would I live with a loser like you?" Shinji rejected her words. He wouldn't believe that. He ran out of the classroom without looking back. He retraced his steps back to Misato's apartment. Misato had long since left by the time he returned.

Shinji didn't stop until he was right in front of the door to Asuka's room. He ripped the door open, and froze at the sight. Aside from a few old boxes and a standing, dusty mirror, the room was empty. He walked into the foreign room. He stared at the space near the back wall where her bed used to be.

Asuka didn't live here. She never had. Shinji walked to the mirror. He stared into the eyes of his reflection. He placed a hand on the cold glass. What was going on? Why was this happening? He saw a blue-haired girl standing behind him. Shinji tried to turn around to face Rei, but that turning motion became a sitting-up motion. Shinji was back in the bed he'd woken up in that morning.

"You're gonna be late!" called a voice from the kitchen. Shinji wasted no time jumping out of bed and running into the kitchen. Misato was sitting at the table holding a beer, looking as if she'd just woken up. Shinji immediately ran over to Asuka's room and pulled the door open, checking to see if she was there.

There was no sign of Asuka, but all of her stuff was there. An unmade bed had a balled up pile of the clothes she normally slept in. Asuka was here. Shinji turned to Misato. "Where's Asuka?" he asked, testing her reaction.

"Asuka left for school already," Misato explained, taking another sip from her favorite brand of beer. "You looked like you were having a nice sleep so we let you stay there for a little while."

Shinji nodded, and once again ran off to school. The class was the same as always. He hadn't done more then walked in a few paces before he heard a familiar voice. "Hey Shinji!" a girl with blue hair came running up to him. "What's up?"

"R-Rei?!" Shinji stammered. "What are you…?"

"Huh?" Rei asked herself. "What do you mean?"

"Shinji!" called someone from the doorway. Shinji turned to see Asuka. She looked thoroughly pissed that Rei was so close to him. "What're you doing?!"

"Oh, Asuka," Rei sighed. "Shinji's just started to take a liking to the one of us that's cuter," Rei said casually.

"Oh yeah?!" Asuka charged over to Rei. "We'll see!" She looked into Shinji's eyes. "Shinji!" she shouted.

"Y-yes?" he managed to respond.

"Which one of us is cuter?!" Asuka said. Both girls leaned towards him. Shinji backed up a step, but both pursued him. "Well?!"

"Yeah," Rei agreed. "I'm dying to here you say my name,"

Shinji eventually hit a wall. His head was starting to hurt so badly. He couldn't keep his eyes open. Images spread through his head like wildfire.

Rei licked her lips as she faced him.

Asuka wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning forward to kiss him. Before her lips made contact, she slapped him and suddenly looked at him with disgust.

"These are the worlds you wished for," Rei spoke without being seen. "So why…"

Asuka was walking away from him. She was walking towards the sun on a long stretch of street. Shinji watched her stride away without even looking over her shoulder. Shinji stared at her for awhile before turning and walking the opposite way.

"…do you want…" Rei continued.

Both girls grabbed one of his arms, cradling it. They inched themselves as close as they could to him.

"…to run away?" Rei finished.

A drop of water hit a puddle beneath it. Rei rose out of the puddle, her eyes hidden behind her wet bangs. She reached towards an unforeseen object. She just reached; with everything she had, trying to grab hold of something that seemed so far away.

_Love_

Shinji touched Asuka's hand, and she made a move to hold his hand. Shinji pulled his hand away.

Another drop of water rippled throughout the puddle.

Shinji went to move his hand back and Asuka retracted violently. She walked across Misato's apartment without saying a word to him and slammed the door to her room.

He took a step towards her before he felt everything ripple. He heard the water drop, and each time it hit the puddle, his world rippled. He couldn't focus. He couldn't see anything. He wanted it all to go away. He just wanted this to stop. He didn't want to be a part of the light anymore. He wanted it to stop. Just stop. Stop!

Everything he saw broke apart into tiny triangles. Those faded away, and Shinji stood in darkness so complete he couldn't see his own hands. He closed his eyes. All he wanted was to be normal. To have a family. To live normally…

Shinji opened his eyes. He was standing in a bedroom he didn't know. He looked around, shifting uncomfortably. He hesitantly opened his door, and started down a flight of stairs. He walked into the kitchen where he heard the sound of something hitting wood. The noise was identified as a knife hitting a cutting board. And holding the knife was-

"Mom?" Shinji asked. Yui Ikari looked up at him with a smile.

"Hi, Shinji," she said calmly, as if she'd been doing it every time he saw her for the past fifteen years. "Dinner's almost ready,"

It was then that he realized something. A feeling was deep within him, beckoning him to pay attention to it. He searched within himself for the answer. For the feeling's meaning. He groped around his own head before he finally grasped the ability to articulate his thoughts.

"No," he said calmly, firmly.

"What?" Yui asked, unaware of his resolve. She looked into his eyes. "What do you-?" Shinji cut her off.

"This isn't right," Shinji said. "I don't want this. I thought…" He looked at his 'mother'. "You're dead, and that's…" he paused, feeling like what he was about to say would sound cruel. "…that's the way my life is. I've accepted that…and I don't want things like this to happen…This isn't what I want,"

Yui raised the knife high above her head and slammed it down on the cutting board. Shinji jumped back, and then felt the familiar disconnection with reality that had gripped him so many times before.

_What do you need?_

Asuka and Rei stood together, both clothed by white dresses. They held hands and stared at Shinji.

_Why do you need?_

Yui slammed the knife down on the cutting board, spewing lettuce all over the counter.

"Would you accept me?" asked Rei.

"Would you follow through for me?" Asuka asked.

"Would you be there…in the end?" Both girls asked this at the same time.

_This is the world you chose_

Yui slammed the knife down on the cutting board.

_Now decide the fate of everyone in it_

Asuka stood in front of him with blood trickling down her forehead. She reached towards him, raising her hands. "Shinji…?" Asuka moaned. She faded away as the darkness circled everything once again.

"I'm here,"

The voice. It was Asuka's voice. Asuka called out to him. Shinji shook his head in denial. That wasn't right, she wasn't here. Shinji forced the darkness away, and found himself standing in Misato's apartment. Asuka was leaning against her door. She glared at him.

"Why are you here now?" she asked. "What do you want to take from me this time?"

"Asuka, what are you talking about?" he said stupidly. Asuka started towards him.

"You just rip away everything, don't you?" she shoved him. "You just take anything I give you and laugh at it, don't you?" She pushed him again. "You just grab anything you can from me, don't you?!" She pushed him once more; he bumped into the edge of the table. "Try doing something for someone else! Try caring! You can't even do that, and you love it, DON'T YOU?!" Asuka back handed him and sent him crashing into the table.

The wood splintered and the plates broke. Pieces of wood and china cut his arm. He fell into a small smear of his own blood. He sat on the floor, not even feeling the blood stream down his arm. He looked at Asuka.

Asuka was glaring down at him, feeling nothing but contempt. She stared into his eyes with a look of pure hatred. She felt nothing for him. Why should she? After all, according to her, this was his entire fault.

"That's how you feel, right?" he asked without moving from his position on the floor. "This is my fault? You're just going to put everything off on me?"

Asuka remained silent. She simply continued to stare at him as if he was a disgusting, inferior creature. She scoffed at his questions.

"Everything that's happened, you just put it on me? All I've ever done to you…is bring you down?" Shinji asked quietly.

Asuka stared in silence for a few more seconds. "I put it on you…" Asuka paused. "Because it's your fault,"

"That's your answer?" Shinji stood, but kept his eyes on the floor. The blood was drawn to the floor by the pull of gravity. It dripped off his finger tips. "You broke down, because I said I love you?" Asuka stared, unwavering. Even when he stood she managed to look down on him.

"Because I admitted I cared for you…and then" Shinji paused. "And then when I pull back just a little, you pin all of your problems on me? When I can't pull through for you just once?!" Shinji shouted at her. "Why would you do that all to me?!"

Asuka stared into his eyes. She maintained her look of disdain even at this time. The blood from his arm hit the floor again. The gentle pitter-patter of his blood was the only thing that broke the silence. Finally Asuka spoke her response.

"Because you disgust me," she said.

Shinji stared at her. Finally, everything he felt built up into just one emotion. He felt just one thing at that time. All of his rational thoughts disappeared as one word crossed his hate filled mind.

"Die," he spat at her. Asuka's eyes narrowed, then widened in fear.

Blood spurted from an unseen wound across Asuka's throat. It poured down faster then the blood from the cuts on Shinji's arm. Asuka grabbed her throat in an effort to halt the blood, but it was pointless. The crimson liquid flowed from between her fingers. She reared around the room, crashing into walls and knocking in doors, trying to stop the blood from her throat.

Shinji watched silently. The scene suddenly transitioned itself to black and white. The red-head grabbed for a towel but could find none. She started wheezing violently.

_This is the world you chose_

Asuka fell to her knees in a pointless struggle. She was impossibly pale. She lost too much blood. She wheezed a few more times, and finally collapsed to the floor of Misato's apartment. Her body twitched slightly before becoming completely immobile.

_Now decide the fate of everyone in it_

Shinji stared at Asuka's body in silence. Then the reality of the situation hit him. She was dead. He'd called it and so it began. He'd wished for her death. Shinji finally ran over to the lifeless body and rolled it onto its back. "Asuka?!" Shinji screamed. "Asuka?!" He shook her body. "ASUKA?!"

He pulled her body close to his, and held it tightly. "This wasn't what was supposed to happen…" he said quietly.

"Then why did you wish for it?"

Asuka's body disappeared from his grip. Shinji didn't need to turn to know that Rei Ayanami was standing behind him. "Why did you ask for it if you didn't want it to happen?"

"I don't know…" Shinji said quietly.

"Why would you urge it when it wasn't your desire, in this world that you control?" Rei asked coldly.

"I don't know!" Shinji shouted.

"Because you wanted it," said a cool voice in front of him. Shinji looked up to see Kaworu walking towards him. "You wanted her to die,"

"No! I loved her!" Shinji argued back.

"You loved her, and you wished her death," Kaworu said quietly. "These are the two sides between your personality and reality. This is what the light has come to see. The Truth. You desire two things of eternal opposition with every Lilim in existence."

Shinji stared up at the silver-haired angel, waiting for him to continue as tears escaped him. Kaworu remained as emotionless as ever.

"The libido and the death wish. Two desires that urge the human soul, and drive it into the darkest depths of insanity," Kaworu spoke softly. "However, it's only at this point that you can finally discern the two. If you truly wish for the world you want, then all you have to do is dive into your sanity,"

Shinji couldn't even speak at this point. Even if he'd wanted to, he knew there would be no result. Every single fiber of his being was listening to Kaworu.

"You have to figure this world out for yourself, and learn what it is you have to do," Kaworu said.

"_Try doing something for someone else! Try caring! You can't even do that, and you love it, DON"T YOU?!"_

Shinji gripped his head. It hurt so badly. He lost any hope of attaining a rational thought. Things were charging at him, assaulting him to decide the fate of everything.

_"I thought I told you not to talk to me outside of NERV," Asuka said darkly._

_"Which one of us is cuter?!" Asuka said. Both girls leaned towards him. Shinji backed up a step, but both pursued him. "Well?!"_

"I don't…" Shinji started.

_"You just rip away everything, don't you?"_

_Asuka stared in silence for a few more seconds. "I put it on you…" Asuka paused. "Because it's your fault,"_

_She just reached; with everything she had, trying to grab hold of something that seemed so far away._

_Love_

_Why do you need?_

Images swirled around his head and caused an intense pain. Shinji thought his head could split open at any time. Everything. Everything was forcing him to decide, to chose what this world they lived in was supposed to be.

"I don't know!" Shinji screamed as the darkness enveloped everything. Kaworu and Rei faded from sight. Shinji screamed as everything spun around him. It was like he was standing in the eye of a tornado. "I just don't know!" he screamed into the darkness all around him.

THIS IS THE WORLD YOU CHOSE.

* * *

Shinji stood up and stared ahead of him. He was standing on the stage again. This time, there was no one in the audience. There was no applause. There was no Asuka bowing to her fans. Shinji was holding his cello by the neck. He stared into the emptiness ahead of him and sat down on the steel chair behind him. 

Shinji started to play.

* * *

To be continued.

* * *

Wow…only one chapter left. It's hard to believe this is almost over. It'll feel weird to not be working on this fic anymore. The next chapter is the end of Third Impact, and the end of this fic. Shinji finally decides everything in the last chapter, and everything comes to a close with a short epilogue at the end of the chapter. 

Well, thanks for reading, and I hope you'll be here for the final chapter. Please review!


	16. could we exist together,

Well, it's finally here. The final chapter of this fic is here at last. The two plausible endings at this point would be the series trademarked off-set and more then a little unhappy, or a bright future for the characters. Let's watch this go out with a bang, shall we?

The original point of this fic was to make a possible second season following the original episodes 25 and 26, and seeing what would happen if things had had more time to develop instead of being thrown immediately into third impact. The basic idea for this story when it was still in development was for it to have 26 chapters. That plan, in case you didn't see, didn't work out for some reason. However, it's here. The ending to a fic that took much longer to write then it should've. The one year gap was a problem for the series, and I don't know what made me drop it like that. Either way, I pushed it back into motion and it's finally done.

There won't be any author's notes at the end, so I'll say here what's normally said at the end. Please review! This is you last chance to let me know what you've been thinking, and it'll be appreciated beyond compare to see this fic top my other highest reviewed story. I'm not going to have a chance to get to work on my second Eva fic. It's completely unrelated to this one, but I'm going to be kind of involved in a rather lengthy fic I'll be starting shortly. A Bleach fanfic, in my opinion, should be as long as the series and at least good enough for the length to not be noticed.

I express all of my thanks to all of the readers, and to the readers. So, having said anything and everything I thought I should, I leave you with one final word in regard to chapter 16. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the original story of Eva.

* * *

Shinji stood up and stared ahead of him. He was standing on the stage again. This time, there was no one in the audience. There was no applause. There was no Asuka bowing to her fans. Shinji was holding his cello by the neck. He stared into the emptiness ahead of him and sat down on the steel chair behind him.

Shinji started to play.

* * *

Final Episode: …could we exist together, in this fanatic world

* * *

Shinji brought the bow across the strings gently. The vibrations echoed musically throughout the empty hall. He played from memory. There was no form of sheet music in front of him. His eyes were closed as the classical tune filled the air.

_**What do you want?**_

Shinji didn't open his eyes. He continued to play.

_**Do you even want to live?**_

_Is there reason to?_

_**Would you stay for her?**_

The stage door behind him opened with a bang. Light poured in the hall and the shadow of a familiar red-head was cast several meters ahead of her. Without a word, she walked up behind Shinji. Shinji braced for her to make some sort of contact, but it never came. When he opened his eyes, he saw her sitting in the chair opposite him. She was holding a smaller string instrument, probably a viola.

She withdrew a slender bow from the case she must've taken the instrument from and played accompaniment to Shinji's part.

**IN THE CASE OF ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU **

_Shinji walked forward on the ship before his gaze fell upon a red-head wearing a yellow dress. She smirked as she slammed her foot down on the baseball cap Toji had dropped. She either didn't notice his efforts to remove the cap from the bottom of her shoe, or didn't care. Noticing the way she was smirking at Misato as she spoke to her, Shinji assumed the latter to be true._

Shinji brought some of his breakfast cereal into his mouth with the plastic spoon he was holding. He'd been up for nearly half an hour, waiting for Asuka to wake up. She sure did like to sleep in. Maybe he should've woken her up? His thoughts shifted away from that idea when she came out of the room herself. Asuka strolled into the kitchen. Shinji waited for her to notice him before saying something.

"Are you ready?" he asked somewhat sheepishly. Asuka closed her eyes and leaned on the counter with her back to Shinji.

"For what?" she muttered.

"The festival," Shinji replied blankly.

Did she honestly forget? She was the one who had been blabbering about it for a while now. It was thanks to her that Shinji had even remembered. Her expression changed so quickly from surprise to her usual self-confident appearance that Shinji could have sworn it had been that way all along.

"Yeah!" she lied. "Lemme guess," she said more lively then before as she whipped around to face Shinji. "_You_ didn't remember until just now and now you're hoping I forgot too so you'd have someone to worry with?" She laughed a little. "You're pathetic," she teased. "I'm going to take a shower. Have fun panicking over the limited amount of time you have left,"

With that, Asuka strolled out of the room and into the bathroom. Shinji laughed a little to himself at her antics before he realized what was wrong with this situation. This had all happened before. Everything that was going on right now had already occurred. Why was it happening again?

_"This is the light," she whispered so only he could hear. "This is the world you chose. Now decide the fate of everyone in it,"_

Shinji nodded, understanding. This was just another scenario to make him decide. By why this night? He didn't have any longer to think before Asuka appeared, completely dressed for the festival. She was wearing a kimono, a key difference, Shinji noted, between this time and when it had actually happened. Asuka was actually prepared.

"You…actually were ready?" he stammered out. Asuka smiled, and then spoke in an inverted voice that sounded like three people talking at once.

"Why wouldn't I get it right the second time?"

"What?" was all Shinji could get out in response. Asuka didn't respond. At least he didn't think she did. The next thing he knew he was meeting Kensuke, Toji, and Hikari at the entrance to the festival. Hikari ran up to Asuka.

"Your kimono looks so pretty!" exclaimed Hikari. Asuka smiled. She thanked her and returned the compliment. Shinji looked over to the festival and wandered in ahead of the others. No one was there. The entire place was deserted except for his friends. Still, none of them commented on it. He turned around to address the issue.

"Isn't any one going to say something about how wrong this is?" Shinji yelled back. "Or are you all just going to play stupid?" Everything in that world turned black and white and stopped moving at that moment. That being, everything except for him and Asuka. The second child gave him a depressed smile.

"Can't you just let us be here?" she asked. "Is it too much to ask for one more chance with you?" Something about her radiated off onto Shinji. His eyes widened as he stared at her, trying to figure out why this Asuka gave off such a different presence then the others he'd encountered in the light.

Asuka's playing speed on the viola had increased. Shinji had just enough time to register that he was back on the stage and that he needed to play. He didn't miss a note with some luck. They had progressed further in the song then seemed possible, and at this point Asuka seemed to be battling with him for the harmony. Shinji blinked a few times and increased his tempo to match hers.

The next time Shinji opened his eyes, he was back in the festival. Nothing had color except for himself and the eerie silence made his ears ring. This time he was alone. He wandered down an isle or two of stands before he started to her gentle music. The sound was comforting in the same way it was creepy. He followed it, slowly at first, and then broke into a full paced sprint.

Shinji came upon a very out of place carousel. It revolved slowly, and was the source of the music. Everything on it was in vibrant color. The gems that encrusted the central pillar shone with detail. The carnival attraction rotated another ninety degrees before he saw someone sitting sideways on a horse so that they face Shinji instead of the neck of the horse. Asuka smiled at him and reached out a hand.

Shinji walked towards her, slowly at first, and then started running to her. He wasn't sure if his need to be with her was what fueled it or purely the excitement of seeing someone else, but he didn't care enough to think about it. He jumped up onto the revolving ride took a seat on the horse next to Asuka's.

Asuka let the ride continue for a while without saying a thing. Then she swung her legs around the horse so that she was facing Shinji. She was smiling. "What do you think?" she asked lightly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, repositioning himself on the faux horse so he could face Asuka. Asuka looked at the floor.

"Is this something…" she started slowly. "…worth keeping in that world of yours?" Shinji turned to face the front of the ride again. He couldn't look at her right then. After what he'd done to her in this place…

_Asuka fell to her knees in a pointless struggle. She was impossibly pale. She lost too much blood. She wheezed a few more times, and finally collapsed to the floor of Misato's apartment. Her body twitched slightly before becoming completely immobile._

…could she honestly be asking to stay with him? Did he really deserve that kind of treatment?

_"You just rip away everything, don't you?" she shoved him. "You just take anything I give you and laugh at it, don't you?" She pushed him again. "You just grab anything you can from me, don't you?!" She pushed him once more; he bumped into the edge of the table. "Try doing something for someone else! Try caring! You can't even do that, and you love it, DON'T YOU?!" Asuka back handed him and sent him crashing into the table._

Shinji's eyes narrowed. Did she? He was so lost in thought he didn't know what was happening until he felt Asuka's arms wrap around his stomach. She pulled herself as close to him as she could on the horse and buried her face in his back. "Shinji…" she whispered. "I'm scared. I don't know where I am…and I just want to stay here…with you,"

Shinji stared ahead of him blankly. She was scared? She didn't know where she was? He felt her warmth on his back. It should have been relaxing, but all he felt was something darker building up inside him.

"I love you, Shinji," Asuka breathed. She remained silent, waiting for his response. Shinji stood up, shaking her off. He turned to her.

"And I thought I loved you," he said sullenly. Asuka stared at him suddenly in fear. Neither had time to say anything before the carousel revolved by a familiar, silver-haired figure.

Asuka's speed on her instrument was unbelievable. She was putting her everything into the song she was playing. She slammed her eyes shut and dragged the bow across the instrument in careless speed. Shinji looked at the floor of the stage he was on then nodded. He picked up speed on the cello.

_Asuka's voice broadcast loud and clear through Shinji's Evangelion unit as she tore through the many white Eva creatures. "And SHINJI! God-damned Shinji!"_

Shinji stepped off the carousel and towards the silver-haired figure of Kaworu. Asuka tried to get off the ride as fast as she could and fell to her knees in the process. She scrambled towards the edge of the ride, begging Shinji to stop.

_"Everything was you fault, you sick bastard!" Asuka's voice tore threw his Eva. "Who the hell do you think you are?!" Asuka screamed more things as she ripped through the white Eva's bodies. _

Kaworu reached a hand out to Shinji. Shinji walked towards the angel. Asuka tripped off the side of the ride, and screamed for him. "Shinji! Please don't leave again!" Shinji turned and looked at her with an expression devoid of emotion.

"How could you expect me to stay with you right now? With everything you said?" Shinji spoke coldly. Asuka said nothing more, and her eyes started to water. Shinji turned towards Kaworu. He went to take his hand when he thought about what he said. Was that really how he felt?

No. That wasn't it at all. Then why would he do something like that? He was pathetic. Every chance he had to be with Kaworu he just abandoned Asuka. He went to say something to the red-head before realizing he was back on the stage. Asuka had stopped playing. A string had snapped on her instrument.

Asuka dropped the bow on the stage and stood up. She turned to leave through the same way she'd entered. He saw her fighting back tears as she turned away from him and towards the exit of the stage. Shinji knocked his chair over as he stood and tried to run to her. Asuka was gone and the door had closed by the time he reached it.

Finally, Shinji Ikari figured out why that Asuka had felt different. It was her. The one that had just walked out of the stage had been the real Asuka Langley Soryu. Shinji's eyes watered as he realized his fatal mistake. How could he have said those things to her? She didn't deserve that. He was pathetic. He really and truly was. Shinji didn't deserve to even know Asuka, let alone speak to her. He should just…

"Just…what, exactly?" Rei Ayanami was sitting in the chair Asuka had just recently been in. "Do you plan to sit there in self pity? Or are you going to pick up your instrument?"

Shinji stared at the floor and decided it was better not to acknowledge her. How could he go back there after what he did? Maybe it would be better for him to just sit there alone. Maybe he should even…

"Are you giving in to the death wish, Shinji Ikari?" Shinji looked up to see Kaworu standing before him.

**IN THE CASE OF KAWORU NAGISA**

_Shinji stared ahead of him into the setting sun. It was a beautiful sight. Even if it was over the vast destruction caused by the Angels, Shinji actually felt a slight warmth building inside of him as he stared ahead. Someone was humming softly next to him. Shinji turned to his left to observe a boy around his age sitting atop a pile of rubble. His silver hair rustled gently in the breeze as he hummed Beethoven's Ninth._

"Do you wish to kill yourself?" Kaworu asked in the dark void Shinji found himself in.

"Why shouldn't I? I have no reason to live. I don't deserve to," Shinji whispered.

"A stray child isn't allowed a voice," Kaworu said methodically. "If your true desire is to give in to the death wish, then you can't say it only out of self pity. For you to accomplish anything in this place of Truth, you need to stand and proclaim it from the bottom of your heart.

"Of course, that would be the given location," Kaworu muttered, looking briefly into the darkness around them. "This is your heart Shinji. This is the very darkness you've been spreading out to every single person around you. This is the reason the girl is lost."

"Lost?" Shinji questioned reflexively.

"These feelings you have are similar to those of the girl you abandoned at that festival," Kaworu explained. "Your oppressive will has been smothering everyone around you whether you realized it or not. It doesn't matter your intention, that was the result. Your feelings of regret are the reason we're here,"

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked.

"This darkness started growing inside you the day you killed me," Kaworu spoke to him without regard to what Shinji might be thinking. "The fact I'm here shows you regret that action. That was never my intention. My point in being in your life may have eluded you, but it wasn't for you to sit here in your own darkness,"

"Then what was it?!" screamed Shinji. "Everything you've said has done nothing but make me feel worse! Why shouldn't I just die at this point?!" Kaworu remained silent for quite a few minutes.

"If you were given the chance to do everything over…" Kaworu paused as Shinji looked up into his eyes. "Would you have changed the outcome? Would you have let me live?"

"I…" Shinji was at a loss for words.

"Would you have let me live to annihilate every single Lilim?" Kaworu asked. "Was the pre-apocalyptic death of mankind your desire then?" Shinji shook his head subconsciously. "If your true desire is to do nothing more then exist in my world…"

Shinji stood up as Kaworu faded away. "Then you should find this feeling of being completely alone to be second nature,"

"Why should the world exist aside from me?!" Shinji shouted into the darkness. "Everything is just a shape…" Shinji sat in the darkness. Finally he felt it creeping into his very existence. He couldn't stand just sitting in total darkness. He realized he didn't want to be alone.

_**Why do you exist?**_

Shinji found absolutely no way to answer this. He contented himself with staring at his own hands. Finally, he stood up. He didn't want this. His existence wasn't meant to be alone. He couldn't stand it that way. How could he stand to be entirely, utterly embraced by his own darkness?

Shinji turned around and saw he was back on the stage. Rei was exactly where she'd been before he slipped into the darkness. He strode over to the chair he risen from earlier and picked his instrument and bow back up. He set the bow on the strings and began to play the same time Rei started up the violin.

**IN THE CASE OF REI AYANAMI**

_Shinji slid on the cracked glasses he'd found and tried looking around. Everything was blurry. He almost laughed at what a foolish idea it had been before he saw Rei standing in front of him wearing nothing but a towel. Shinji stammered out apology after apology as he tried to avert his eyes from Rei's pale figure. Rei walked quickly over to him and yanked off the glasses from his head. Worried as to how close she was, Shinji panicked, tripped over air, and pulled out Rei's underwear drawer as he fell on top of her. _

Rei was sitting by the river by the time Shinji caught up with her. She was staring at her reflection with some confusion. Shinji sat next to her on the grass. She hugged her knees and spoke softly. "Ikari…what if I were to say I loved you?" she asked. Shinji looked at her. This time he didn't jump up and run away. She turned to face him.

"What do you expect me to say?" Shinji asked her.

"I don't know," Rei said calmly. "Maybe it's purely selfish for me to think like the second. But part of me wants this…"

Shinji said nothing to her. Rei stood and looked down at him. "The entire reason you're here is because of my feelings towards you…"

_**Would you just reject them?**_

Shinji stared into the rippling waters, searching for answers. Kaworu's face rippled in the water. Shinji blinked and it was gone. Asuka pushed him. Shinji turned to face her in Misato's apartment.

"How can you run to him every time you get lonely?!" Asuka screamed. "Do you think everything rests on him?! How is it fair to me that you can escape like that while I'm stuck here?!"

_**I'm here for you, so why can't you be for me?**_

"Tell me, Ikari. How would I know if that was love?" Rei asked him. Shinji stood and started walking away from her. She gasped and Asuka ran up behind him, hugging him. He was standing in a graveyard now.

"Shinji, stop leaving me…" Asuka choked through tears. "Please,"

_**Would you rather her be this way?**_

Asuka shoved him. "Get the hell away from me! You can't do anything right!"

_**True to herself**_

Shinji stood on the stage. He mustered up all of his strength and threw the cello across the stage. It broke into tiny pieces. Rei stopped playing and stood.

_Life_

He threw his steel chair into the audience and watched with delight as it crashed into an empty seat.

_Death_

"Ikari…" whispered Rei.

_To be alone_

"Ikari," his father said sternly.

_Do people deserve to live?_

"Shinji…" Yui smiled at him from across the room.

_**What would you change?**_

"Shut up!" screamed Asuka. "All you do is think about yourself! You're just a selfish little bastard!"

_In the end…_

Shinji was thrown into the wall of lab as the creature he'd just created started to breathe rigidly.

…_was it worth it?_

Shinji turned and ran off the stage as fast as he could without looking back. Rei reached a hand toward him, feeling her own heart fall apart as Shinji made his decision.

_THIS IS THE WORLD YOU CHOSE. NOW DECIDE THE FATE OF EVERYONE IN IT._

**IN THE CASE OF SHINJI IKARI**

Shinji ran through the door of the stage and stared into the blinding light on the other side. Asuka turned suddenly. She was wearing the school uniform and walking away from him. She stopped when she saw him. Her eyes started to water once again as she ran towards him once more. Asuka's body dissolved as the light surrounding them both enveloped her.

"Asuka!" Shinji screamed, running towards the light himself.

"You would go into to it knowing that it erases those it contacts?" Rei asked calmly. Rei was standing behind him, leaning on the door to the stage. "Shinji, going that way means you can't come back,"

"Your point?!" Shinji screamed at her. "Just what the hell do you want from me now?!"

"My point is that once you've left, you can't change your mind anymore," Rei spoke uncharacteristically. Her voice was different from before. Shinji could feel emotion behind it this time. "Once you're gone, your desires right then will be the final choice you make."

Shinji paused for a second. He stared ahead of him into the unwavering light. His gaze dropped to the ground. The small patch of grass he was standing on with Rei was the only thing visible aside from the brick wall that the stage door was part of. He closed his eyes as he thought. A hand dropped on his shoulder.

"Are you really happy with the world?" Kaworu asked. "This is the deciding moment, Shinji Ikari,"

"We could live together," Yui whispered from her spot next to Rei. "You could finally have your childhood. The normal life you want it right over here Shinji,"

_**What do you desire?**_

_"Damn it Shinji!" she exclaimed. Anger was obvious in her voice. "Why won't you eat something?" Shinji just stared at the plate. _

_"I'm not hungry," he said._

_"Don't give me that shit!" yelled Misato. Her face changed from blind rage to concern. "Please," she whispered. "I understand that you're upset. But please! You need to…" There was a knock on the door. Misato stood up and went over to the door. Shinji just continued to stare at his plate._

"I…" Shinji whispered, knowing full and well everyone could hear him.

_**Do you want to leave? Do you want to change this place?**_

"You could just stay here forever," Kaworu whispered. "You could live here with me, with whatever you want," Shinji stared at the grass on the only ground he could see. "Everything you've ever thought of is here,"

_Life or death?_

"Do you want the normal life you've sought after?" Yui questioned.

_**Do you want to be alone?**_

_Can you see the darkness?_

Shinji swallowed his spit and turned to them all. Rei stared at him sadly.

"Would you reject everything I've said to you?" Rei asked pathetically.

"Would you deny your last chance to see me?" asked Kaworu.

"Would you throw away the past?" asked Yui.

_**This is the world you created**_

"I've…" Shinji turned away from them and stared into the light. "I know what I want,"

_**This is where the truth is spoken**_

Rei stared at him and Kaworu released his hand from Shinji's shoulder.

_**This is the place where everything is gathered, and nothing remains. **_

Shinji took a step. He looked back at the three of them. Kaworu nodded. "Choose your own path," Kaworu began. "And stop being that stray child," Shinji turned and ran into the light after Asuka.

Yui collapsed into a thousand tiny pieces and the light took them all. Kaworu turned towards Rei. Their crimson eyes met for only a short time before the light enveloped Kaworu's figure. He never stopped smiling at her. Rei stared at the ground and whispered softly to herself.

"Shinji…I really did love you," she whispered. A single tear escaped the emotionless child before the light swallowed everything that had existed in that place. Nothing remained but the white, and shining Truth.

* * *

EPILOGUE

Shinji walked slowly up the stairs, taking them one at a time. He was carrying a small bouquet if flowers in one hand. He used the other to push open the door at the top of the stairs. A few doctors and nurses recognized him from his constant visits and waved at him. Shinji found the correct room, and pushed the door open.

A girl was sitting in the hospital bed in front of him. She had been staring out the window, but turned when she heard him walk in. A few bandages were wrapped tightly around her head, and her arm was in a cast. Several more bandages were hidden beneath the blanket. Her pale skin shone in the fluorescent lighting coming from overhead.

"Hey," she said in the strongest voice she could muster. Shinji pulled up a chair and sat down next to her bed.

"Hey, Asuka," he responded. "How're you feeling?"

"A lot better considering," Asuka answered. She took the flowers from him and smiled. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Isn't today when you get out?" Shinji asked.

"Idiot," Asuka said. "Like you don't know," They both laughed softly. Asuka looked out the window again. "It's been raining for a while," she said.

"I think it'll stop soon," Shinji responded. They remained silent for a while, staring into the rain.

"When's Misato's funeral?" Asuka asked without turning to him.

"In two weeks," Shinji answered.

"They're sure taking their time," Asuka said.

"Well…there aren't many people who can help with the arrangements," Shinji spoke softly. Asuka hesitated before asking her next question.

"Did they ever find Rei's body?" she asked. Shinji shook his head. Asuka forced herself to ask the next. "What about your dad's?"

"They have no clue where to even look," Shinji sighed. Asuka turned to him and smiled.

"You about ready to go?" she asked. Shinji nodded. An hour later, Shinji was pushing her wheelchair out in front of the hospital. She'd make a full recovery, but walking wasn't the most recommended thing at the moment. "It stopped raining,"

Shinji looked up at the sky and smiled. The sun was starting to shine through the clouds above them. "Yeah," he agreed. As he wheeled Asuka away from the hospital, they both observed the large crater that had become the center of the city. It was all that remained of the contact site between Rei and Unit-01.

All of the Evangelion units would most likely never be piloted again. The few surviving members of NERV had disbanded the organization and pursued their own lives. It was about time for Shinji and Asuka to do the same.

Asuka lifted her good hand and placed it on Shinji's as they walked away from the site. As the sun shone full force down on the city, Shinji realized, for the first time in quite a long time, they were going to have a good day.


End file.
